Barack Obama's Fiscal Policy Speech: Tryin' to Get The Feeling Again:
First off, let's give credit where credit is due. Inviting Rep. Paul Ryan and other Republicans to sit in the front row during his big ass deficit addressin' address was just a goddamn hilarious move by President Barack Obama. Think about it: Ryan and various Medicare-gutting bags of douche got their BBMs to be there and probably took their seats, smugly waiting to see how much Obama would give in to the radical Ryan budget. Instead, they get the President telling 'em all that their budget "paints a vision of our future that is deeply pessimistic. It’s a vision that says if our roads crumble and our bridges collapse, we can’t afford to fix them. If there are bright young Americans who have the drive and the will but not the money to go to college, we can’t afford to send them."

Or, in other words, "You suck and I'll tell you that to your faces, not behind your backs." And they had to sit there and take it. Now that's comedy.

By the way, hearing Republicans complain about the partisan tone of the speech is like watching a group of cobras complain that the local mongoose bites them too hard. Seriously, guys, you're cobras. Suck it up. It's just fucking embarrassing.

As for the rest of the speech, the inspiring rhetoric, the guts to say that at least some taxes have to be raised (when, really, all the Bush-level tax cuts have to go), the promises to hold the line on Medicare, Medicaid, and health care reform, the willingness to put defense on the table, yeah, all that shit, just a year ago, the Rude Pundit would have still found it inspiring. He'd have been able to join the jubilant lefties who are crowing about it, like E.J. Dionne, who says that "Obama is back on the field" or the Rude Pundit's beloved Joan Walsh, who says, "That's the president I voted for." He wishes he had such belief, such faith in the words of the President. Alas, alas, his innocence is lost.

How many times can we hop on the train to Hopeville only to realize that it ain't leaving the station? It was a fine speech, sure, even if it bought into the GOP line that deficit reduction is the most importantest thing that can happen ever. But at least Obama's version of "shared sacrifice" is something more akin to actual sharing and not Ryan's version, which is "rich people get all the pie and get to fuck your grandparents in the ass." In essence, while Obama defended liberal beliefs, he put forth a bunch of random proposals that, cobbled together, will achieve the same deficit reduction that Ryan wanted, except a bit less dickishly. As Ezra Klein says, it's a policy, not a philosophy. There is no unifying philosophy to Obama's presidency anymore, just predictable moderation that leads to near-total capitulation that can be spun as victory.

Yeah, it was just a speech. And it forms the basis for what will be seen as the left side of the budget debate, which it's not, but that won't matter. This is where the negotiating starts, not where it ends. So, sorry, the Rude Pundit didn't get a thrill up his leg when President Obama said about the Bush-era tax rates on the wealthiest 2% of Americans, "We can’t afford it. And I refuse to renew them again." You know why? Because he fucking said he wasn't going to fucking renew them in the first place and that ended up being a fucking lie, just like promise after promise. To put it simply, the Rude Pundit doesn't believe Obama's words anymore.

Sometimes, in the course of giving blow jobs to different dudes, a guy will suck the dick of another guy who just won't come. Guy #1 could be bobbing on that knob in every way possible, sucking like a hole in an airplane in flight, and Guy #2 just won't blow his load. Oh, sure, Guy #2 keeps saying he's gonna jizz, he's gonna jizz, but, no, he's not jizzing, and Guy #1's jaw muscles are aching and he's wondering how much more stamina he's got before he just tells Guy #2, "You're not gonna come. And you know it. So why should I keep blowing you?"

(Note: Before anyone writes in to bitch that the Rude Pundit has become just another Obama-abandonin' liberal whiner and oh-gee-it's-way-better-than-any-Republican, take a motherfuckin' breath. One can shit on Republicans and then piss on Democrats. As for the 2012 election, well, the Rude Pundit ain't gonna sit it out. If he could force himself to vote in 1996, he can do the same thing in 2012.)

(Note 2: Yes, that is a Barry Manilow reference in the title. And?)