Washington Post's Marc Thiessen: "Torture People More Because the Law Sucks Balls":
In an unintentionally elegantly-timed bit of scribbling, globular warthog and speechwriter for the previous president, Marc Thiessen, used his Washington Post column yesterday to call for the Obama administration to torture someone. And that ain't an exaggeration for comic effect. Thiessen was writing about the capture in Pakistan of Umar Patek, one of the terrorists behind the 2002 Bali bombings. He's being handed over to the Indonesians, who will probably fuck up his world.

Thiessen thinks America should have a shot at interrogating Patek since he's been involved in al-Qaeda shit. But there's the problem. However could we do question him without our precious torture? Disgorges Thiessen, "President Obama has eliminated the CIA’s interrogation program and closed the agency’s black sites. How will the president handle the disposition of this captured terrorist operative? Where will Patek be detained? And who will interrogate him?" Indeed. Because no one was ever successfully interrogated before George W. Bush introduced freedom-drownings to the process. It's sad how much Thiessen desperately wants his beliefs validated by this White House.

And, just to confirm that a torture-loving leopard never changes his shit-stain spots, Thiessen helpfully suggests, "Obama needs to make sure Patek joins his former bosses [including Khalid Sheikh-Mohammed] at the high-value detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. If the Army Field Manual’s techniques prove insufficient to break him, Obama should authorize additional interrogation methods so we can find out what he knows." Christ, it reads like a fucking parody of a right-winger. This motherfucker really, really misses getting his weekly photos of nude, waterboarded, bloody detainees so he can jack off pretending that he's the one doing the nut-stomping. Thiessen must have jizzed buckets of spooge at the Kill Team pics.

Thiessen is just the most obvious example of how much that, when it comes to terrorism, conservatives hate America. And the Rude Pundit doesn't say that lightly. But, as he's said before, if you don't believe that the Constitution and the rule of law are adequate to deal with the most heinous and diabolical of (alleged) criminals, then you actually don't believe in the nation.

The timing of Thiessen's fart of a column was perfect since yesterday the Obama administration folded to pressure from the pussies in Congress and announced that it would try Mohammed and four co-conspirators before a military tribunal at Gitmo rather than at a federal court in Manhattan, as it first crowed it would. There's so much cowardice in the decision that it's hard to tell the quivering dicks from the cowering cunts in the entire matter.

Attorney General Eric Holder was pissy in his announcement, blaming Congress for blocking funding for bringing any Gitmo-mates to the United States for trial. Which is all fine and good, except that President Obama signed the Defense Authorization Act that included the ban on the hope and a dream that it could be overturned later (or at least paying lip service to the idea). Is there no principle that can't be compromised away? Is there nothing that's worth taking a stand on? And let's also remember that Democrats in Congress, especially from New York, supported the ban, too.

So here we are once again, same as it was under Bush: We have decided that terror suspects are such super-villains that the only way we can feel safe is to undermine our judicial system, to say, in essence, that our judges, our courts, our juries are too fucking weak and too fucking unsafe to deal with these extraordinary criminals, most of whom are just deluded, cave-dwelling goat-fuckers who would run screaming from an iPad image of boobs.

Or maybe we're here again because Thiessen and the torture advocates shit in our American nest by rendering Mohammed and other Gitmo-mates incapable of being tried by our system. Maybe because we waterboarded the fuck out of them and got confessions and lies and inadmissible evidence and drove them mad. Maybe if that came out in court, a real court, we'd actually have to do something about those who decided that our laws are impediments instead of the actual organs of our supposed democracy. Maybe we'd have to charge Thiessen's ex-boss with war crimes. Maybe we'd have to clean up our goddamned messes.