Ten Lowest-Polling Tea Party "Action Items":
Hey, didja hear that some damn Tea Party group or other put together a fancy website and announced a brand spanking new "Contract From America." It's like the "Contract With America," except there's a different word in the middle. Oh, and it ain't from Newt Gingrich. See, they did a totally accurate, no snake-oil science stuff, online poll of people who visited their totally not Republican (despite being sponsored by or partnered with Republican Dick Armey's Freedom Works, the Republican Liberty Caucus, and the College Republicans) website.

Good tea fanciers had 21 choices, and, by golly, they got ten of 'em with more than 50% agreement. Oh, and screw you, buddy, if you think things like number 4, "Enact Fundamental Tax Reform," and number 10, "Stop the Tax Hikes," are pretty much the same thing and that there's really only 5 or 6 actual individual items in the Contract. What are you? An elitist lawyer with a "degree" to look at "contracts"?

Although, truth be told, it looks like the entire thing was a set-up because the other possible "Action Items" don't exactly seem like they'd be very popular with the teabagging set:

1. Check spelling.

2. Eat a salad every now and then.

3. Understand that taxes for almost everyone have actually gotten lower under President Obama.

4. Stop taking government money like Social Security disability payments or Medicare.

5. Appreciate racial diversity in a way that doesn't involve witch doctors or monkeys.

6. Require that anyone dressing up as a Founder must have actually read that person's work.

7. Get information from more than one 24-hour news channel.

8. Take a walk every now and then.

9. One gun is more than enough.

10. Love, baby, love.