6/07/2006

Fucked New Orleans (Part of an Ongoing Series):
Yes it's true, and we should acknowledge the ignorance and failure ahead of time. New Orleans is indeed fucked, like a crazed bitch dog that wanders into the wrong alley while it's in heat, with tumescent red rocket-sporting curs all around her, New Orleans is being gang-raped beast style. And she will never walk the same or turn corners freely again. Of course, those of us who know the politics of New Orleans, Louisiana, and, indeed, the nation saw this coming with all the prescient power of a cat in that alley hiding in a garbage can after catching a whiff of that poor bitch coming down her way. Christ, what howls. God, what whines, what growls, what strange, savage sounds.

In Louisiana, in the midst of all the devastation and ruin that are the city of New Orleans and all the Rita-fried and Katrina-fucked towns, as well as the economy itself, what did they decide was the issue of the day? A contingency plan for abortion. Demonstrating a need to pander to match that of Senate Republicans, Democratic Governor Kathleen Blanco will sign into law a bill passed unanimously by the Louisiana Senate that says almost all abortions, including those that might come about because of rape or incest, will be banned if, and only if, Roe v. Wade is overturned or some random crazy-ass amendment to the Constitution is voted into being.

The pure logic is something to be admired: well, fuck, after Katrina, didn't Louisiana lose, like, lots of its poor and African American residents? And who will this ban punish with child the most? Why, of course, it'll hit those same residents that were left behind after the big storms. So, hey, LA black people, time to get your groove on with makin' those babies. Time to repopulate. Goddamn, what fine law-makin', huh? Taking a stand when you don't have to actually worry about the consequences. It'd be like inventing a punishment for a crime that doesn't exist yet, like laser gun fights or jet car accidents or some such shit.

To add insult to vaginal injury, here's Louisana Senator David Vitter, in the great and grand debate over the failed no-fags-and-dykes-allowed marriage amendment, saying, "[L]et's take time to remember and focus on truly significant, enduring social institutions, which are the greatest predictors and factors in terms of encouraging good behavior and success, discouraging bad behavior and failure. This is the way we can have the most impact on those problems we debate endlessly, such as drug abuse, teenage pregnancy, and the like."

That's what's gonna get New Orleans taken care of. No abortion and no gay marriage. That's what shows how much you care about your little corner of the world. That's what shows you value human lives. Not, say, giving a shit about the fact that the few thousand illegals doing part of the clean-up and construction in New Orleans are paid 40% less than others (with, you can be sure, someone pocketin' the difference) and are denied protective gear for shit like asbestos and mold. Not, say, spending your time on the fact that only 9 of 23 water pumps are at pre-Katrina capacity. Not, say, ensuring safety for the tens of thousands of people living in trailers that are "little more than aluminum boxes." Not, say, trying to find places for the 90% of people who lived in public housing pre-Katrina whose projects are now ghost towns. Not, say, getting those crappy trailers to the people of the Lower Ninth Ward at a rate that in some way approaches how quickly the suburbs got 'em. Not to mention the levees, fuck, the levees.

The distractions of abortion and gay marriage, which are supposedly manna and meat for the Christian right, actually demonstrate how soulless we've become.

Regarding German Television:
He'll remind you of this later, but, hey, German readers, the Rude Pundit was just interviewed for a ZDF Television news story on media, part of a 45-minute documentary that'll feature the Today show, Fortune magazine, and the Rude Pundit. The scheduled air date is July 20 at 10:15 p.m.