DHS To Al-Qaeda: Why Don't You Visit Newark, Instead?:
In so many ways, the strategy of cutting the antiterrorism grants from the Department of Homeland Security by 40% to New York City and Washington D.C. is so brilliant that it defies political description. For truly, the minds of the committee that made these recommendations, subcontracted out from the DHS and paid handsomely, no doubt, have come up with a surefire way to ensure that terrorists thirsty to wreck the things America holds dear will avoid those places we, in fact, hold dear.

Because, certainly, slicing the NYC grant by 40% while upping the grant to Newark/Jersey City by 44% sends a message, and that message is amazing in its simplicity and directness: "Hey, Osama, we don't really give a shit about Manhattan anymore. But Newark? Boy, we'd really be upset if you blew up Newark." Look at the urban risk assessment document, obtained by ABC: It enumerates NYC's assets, and under "National Monuments and Icons," it says, "0". And "4" financial and banking insitutions.

Now let's say you're Abdul-Al-Splinter Cell, planning some big ass attack on the United States, wondering where you're gonna do the most damage. You and your jihadi buddies in the cave use the satellite internet connection to check out the list to see what the United States values and what do you see? Fuck New York, with its paucity of monuments and icons. We need to go after Omaha, which got jacked up 38% in its grant. The pissant Empire State Building is bullshit compared to the Mutual of Omaha building. Take down that big Indian head; that'll teach the Great Satan a thing or two. And the Stock Exchange is nothing compared to the stockyards, for, indeed, we would be lost this summer without our mail order Omaha steaks. (Sssh, don't tell'em the Stockyards closed in 1999.)

Goddamn, it's breathtaking, and to think we in Left Blogsylvania decried this administration's use of disinformation. But someone needs to clue in the city officials in New York, because they just seem to be begging for terrorists to target them. Republican Rep. Peter King said the cut is, unironically, "a knife in the back to New York." And he's from Long Island. Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said, "Any threat-based analysis would show that New York is the top of the terrorist target list." C'mon, guys, you afraid of losing some of the tourist dollars that jihadis scouting for locations would bring in? Sheesh.

But, no, New York's congressional delegation and local politicians just won't shut up. They've organized a postcard write in from King and Hillary Clinton to DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff to show all the icons and monuments, like the Brooklyn Bridge and Shea Stadium. Even the New York Post is reacting like the Bush administration is a renegade, poll-driven group of incompetent fucks who like to punish areas of the country that don't support their myopic, greedy, filth-ridden view of the nation and the world while they bulldoze over every bit of common sense, tradition, and law. As if. Some Republicans now are calling on Chertoff to resign. Goddamnit, don't these people recognize irony when they see it?

Some cuts are just obvious. Look at the list of cities and the cuts they received. New Orleans is half as big as it used to be, so the nearly 50% cut there makes sense. And with the mighty Lackawanna Seven behind bars, certainly Buffalo can lose half its grant, too. And with Orlando receiving a grant this year, well, certainly you'd have to cut Anaheim by 40%, 'cause Disney World is so much bigger than Disneyland.

Maybe in some way the dissing of D.C. and NYC is strangely appropriate, for, if the last five plus years have taught us anything, it's that the Statue of Liberty, the Jefferson Memorial, and Vietnam War Wall are utterly meaningless to the White House.

(Thanks to rude reader DJ for a tip on part of this story.)