America: Home of the Hang-Up, Land of the Repressed:
Let us pause in our neverending battle against the rank evil that permeates every pore of our American existence to remember the joys of fucking. Not love, not romance, none of those accoutrements. Just fucking. Fucking a member (or two) of the opposite sex. Fucking a member (or two) of the same sex. Fucking oneself. Let us celebrate the act of coming, of the quake and quiver before spewing a load in a handy Kleenex or in the pussy or ass or mouth of someone else whose muscles are contracting and pulsing, eyes rolling back in something not unakin to ecstasy, although, indeed, that's only achieved so rarely it may as well be called "nirvana." No, let's just think for a second of the everyday orgasm, the rush and flush of release, the feel of the thrust, the feel of the thrusting inside, the right proper tickling of clit, the sweet warmth of wetness, the sticky effulgence produced by just loving a guilt-free fucking, fucking not to prove anything, not to procreate, just to fuck. Let us remember it, keep it in our heads and cocks and cunts before it is just a memory.

For, indeed, the joys of sex are under attack in a concerted effort to deny you the right to fuck yourself or anyone else unless you're at least tryin' to make a baby, motherfucker. Take Mississippi, where the Supreme Court there upheld a law that bans the sale of "sex toys." Or, to really fuck up your wet dream, here's part of the text of the law: "A person commits the offense of distributing unlawful sexual devices when he knowingly sells, advertises, publishes or exhibits to any person any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs, or offers to do so, or possesses such devices with the intent to do so." So Caddy Compson, for instance, could own a mini-rabbit that, perhaps, Quentin could control with a remote, but she couldn't offer to sell one to Dilsey. And let's not even discuss the Jenna Jameson latex doll with grinding pussy action.

Over in Missouri, last week the Republican-led House passed a budget amendment that would ban all county health clinics from giving low-income women contraceptives or referring them to, say, Planned Parenthood to get them. Said Susan Phillips, Kansas City rep and chair of the Children and Familes Committee, and a woman who looks like she needs a ribbed vibrator badly, "All the black bitches outside my district are gonna have those fuckin' babies or they're gonna stop the fucking," or words to that effect. 'Cause, see, according to some Republicans in the House, access to contraceptives means more people fucking or "promiscuity," and, of course, poor people will just stop fucking without the pill.

For extra scary shit, check out what Representative Cynthia Davis said to another Republican in an e-mail. This is filled with such bugfuck insanity that it bears extensive quoting, but read the whole thing to understand just why you can't look directly into the eyes of the Christian right. After saying that contraceptives are a way of "tampering with Mother Nature" through "chemical and pharmaceutical ways," she goes all Glenn Close Fatal Attraction-ish: "When I was listening to the debate last week I wondered what kind of man would want to enjoy free sex and then expect her to provide for her own contraceptives? These are the kind of men who want free whores. Any man who would be so low life as that does not deserve to have any woman love him. Smart women will stay away from men who use them and abuse them."

And nutzoid right wingers say that feminists "hate men?" Check out this putative good little woman: "The irresponsible men love it when women think they are supposed to give away free sex without any consequences. However, you still have not solved the problem of the increase of sexually transmitted diseases that you are creating by encouraging free sex. Susan Phillips said it best when she said that sexual behavior needs to be between a husband and a wife, not between women and the state. The problem is not the babies, it is the lack of a family." That's right, guys, how dare we love sex without consequences. Fuck, we're such pigs.

Anti-birth control is part of the anti-abortion movement now, as it's always been. It's just now surfacing because the movement feels emboldened by Bush. The American Life League contorts itself like a double jointed Thai hooker to say the organization is not trying to outlaw contraception, but it is against contraception use: "In virtually all areas, the contraceptive culture and mentality must be viewed as part of the problem." And the ALL is talkin' condoms, too.

Do you get it? Go back and read the beginning of this post. It's goin' away. No "free sex without any consequences" for you. No sex outside of marriage. Dan Savage is right - it ain't just about icky queer fucking. It's all the icky fuckin', man. It's any sense that joy can be achieved on one's knees without prayer. It's the fear that the release of cock and cunt will lead to the release of the mind, for, indeed, if one can achieve bliss through the body, what other bliss might be possible? What other release?