Five Reasons Why Karl Rove Must Be Destroyed (Continued):
You know what's really fuckin' funny? Watchin' the Bush administration try to ride this one out. Fuckin' hoping and praying that the uproar over Karl Rove's outing of a CIA operative will just pass them by like so many other storms. But here's the deal (and the White House and the Republicans know this): it's just startin'. Remember that the investigation hasn't closed. Matt Cooper is just gettin' around to testifyin' (testify, brother, testify for God and country) before Patrick Fitzgerald's grand jury. Which leads us to--
Reason #3(a): Destroying Karl Rove Will Destroy So Many Others On the Road To the Destruction of Karl Rove
You can smell the shit scent of nervous, sweaty armpits wafting across the Potomac, infecting the Shenandoah before dispersing across the whole of America. Press secretary Scott "Fuck You, Ari" McClellan, confronting real, actual reporters Monday and yesterday, had the look of a man who is tasting so much of his own bile that his liver lining was about to be shat out.
Much has been made, on Air America, all over Left Blogsylvania, and even, shockingly, in the mainstream media, of McClellan's constant refrain of "this is part of an ongoing investigation." Which is funny and all, but the true desperation of this pathetic little demi-man, who for so long looked like a mad Rumplestiltskin, cavorting madly in the forest, is evident in a couple of other telling lines from the press briefings. Gazing out at the pissed off press corps, who had McClellan dead to rights on his lies, Scottie fell back on the prop that every cornered rat has used, from cheap street whores to corrupt cops to cheating boyfriends - the "c'mon, guys, you know me" defense: "Dana, you all -- you and everybody in this room, or most people in this room, I should say, know me very well and they know the type of person that I am. And I'm confident in our relationship that we have." It's like saying, "C'mon, Charlie, you know me. You know I wouldn't fuck your lady. Goddamn, how can you think that about me, you asshole."
But apparently, the reporters decided that they, indeed, knew the type of person he was - the type who would spit in their faces and say it's lemonade. So yesterday, Scottie fell back on the more political strategy of "America trusts us, you fuckers": Again answering questions with the "ongoing investigation" chorus, McClellan added, "I think the American people can understand and appreciate that." To which the reporter replied, "Well, we'll see."
Yesterday, on his Air America show, Al Franken predicted that Scott McClellan would be gone before Rove, and, truly, if it happened, wouldn't we all just think that a weasel so full of his own puissance has imploded, leaving nothing but defecation and debris.
(Later today: How destroying Karl Rove will destroy Ken Mehlman. Also, check out Reason #5 and Reason #4.)
Update: Okay, fuck it. Mehlman tomorrow.