Too Republican To Fuck:
Do you think President of Vice Dick Cheney still fucks his wife, Lynne? Do you think she lays naked in bed at the regal VP residence, legs akimbo, blood engorged clitoris red, wet, and pulsing with desire for her husband, who stares at her from the foot of the bed, still wearing his t-shirt and socks, waiting for those delicious anticipatory seconds before the Viagra kicks in and he's hammering away at her like he's nailing Jesus to the cross? Or for that matter, do you think Sen. Orrin Hatch bones his wife, Elaine, while the stereo blares his CD, My God Is Love (a title that the late Barry White could have intoned), and a picture of Brigham Young staring down approvingly? What about the President and Laura? Do you think he gives a high-pitched girly giggle every time Laura touches his cock?
The Rude Pundit thinks not. Because, you see, at every turn of the policy, conservative Republicans attempt to shut down anything that has to do with fucking. Rep. Henry Waxman has discovered what he calls a "hit list" of NIH-funded researchers into things sexual, like HIV, in an attempt to intimidate (and one supposes de-fund) those who say that fucking happens. Or the administration's refusal to give funds to international agencies for women's health care, HIV/AIDS help, or general social good if that agency has anything to do with abortion, thus holding up the promised funds for Africa. Or the fact that what really makes conservatives is not getting fucked in high school, so, goddamnit, there better be abstinence-only teaching, or we'll audit your secular ass.
Fucking is good for the soul. God likes fucking. The Rude Pundit says go forth and fuck (safely, please, because you might end up fucking the Rude Pundit some day).