10/31/2003

President Believes Growth in Economy Equals Growth in His Cock:
The Rude Pundit is not an economist. There are many, many good economists who can give you the skinny on what the sudden ejaculatory spurt in spending means in relation to an economy in the toilet. The best-known and most vicious little motherfucker of them is Paul Krugman of the New York Times , a man who, set loose of censorship standards, might out-rude the Rude Pundit. Here he is on those third quarter numbers. No, the Rude Pundit is not an economist; he just knows a helluva lot more about most things than you do. So here's the analysis of the estimated 7.2 percent growth:

Back a couple of months ago, the tax cuts that were passed gave a shitload of money to the rich. But part of the tax cuts, the part that Republicans had to be bitch-slapped into accepting, involved giving money to the middle and lower class majority of the population in the form of a higher credit for spawning children. 400 bucks worth for your sentient seed and egg (side note here: if the anti-choice people want to declare a fetus a "person" whose life is protected, does that mean we can claim the fetus for a tax credit?). Now, poor people being poor people, and middle class people being in crippling debt, 400 bucks makes for one nice little blow out party. Or maybe some socks for the kids. Or some quality time with porno and beer for dad. So, poor being poor and middle class not knowing how to save worth a good goddamn, the money was spent, poof, gone. Most of it went to Wal-Mart or stores at the mall to buy fine clothing or goods made in Asian sweatshops, so, really, your 400 bucks went to line the pockets of executives (taxed less now for them) and to enslave many more Indonesian children so you can have cheap t-shirts.

Ahh, what a fine toast they must have had yesterday, all of those big money executives in a secret chamber under the Stock Exchange, with Thai hookers servicing them under the tables and African manservants bringing them the skulls of Chinese prisoners to drink their blood-tainted wine. Mmm, mmm, mmm, what a delicious time for the capitalists.

See, the Rude Pundit is no economist. But he knows a scam when he sees one. He can smell bullshit a mile away. And when the jobless rate doesn't change despite all the gleeful spending of $400 checks, he knows we live in stinky times.

The President will crow, "The tax relief we passed is working. We left more money in the hands of the American people, and the American people are moving this economy forward," jabbering and dancing while corporate America turns the hurdy-gurdy and laughs at the dancing monkey.