In Brief: Hillary Clinton's Embarrassing Love Note to Israel

Everyone knows that in order to be elected to any national position in the United States, you must pledge allegiance to Israel. Indeed, we have seen times when politicians try to top each other with how much they love Israel.

"I love Israel so much that I'd let Benjamin Netanyahu blow his load in my face after I was done sucking him off," some Democrat might say.

Inevitably, the Republican will come along and say, "That just proves you hate Israel. I'd tell Bibi Netanyahu, my good friend who loves to give me the bone on Passover, that he could fuck me in the ass and I'd still lick his dick clean." 

Pretty soon, there's felching, a rusty trombone, and maybe even a strawberry shortcake before it's all over.  Everyone's left sticky, exhausted, and not even a little ashamed because, goddamnit, they have to show voters that Israel matters more than anything else in the world.

So the Rude Pundit read with dismay Democratic candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's mash note to Israel, the Israeli people, and its president.  The 20th anniversary of the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin is "an opportunity to reaffirm the unbreakable bonds of friendship and unity between the people and governments of the United States and Israel." Then she goes on about how she visited Israel in 1981, how "Bill and I fell in love with Jerusalem as we walked the ancient streets of the Old City. Even amid all the history and traditions, it was a city pulsing with life and energy."

By the end of the whole embarrassing piece, you can't help but think, "Damn, why don't you and Israel get a room, Hillary?"

Look this ain't about What Should Be Done to End the Violence. It's about a presidential candidate feeling like she has to take a knee to bow down to Israel, and this is not to mention the expansive pro-Israel promises of the slavering lapdogs of the GOP. Is there any other country that demands this of the U.S.? Is there any other country that our leaders and presumptive leaders demand be treated this way? No. It's a fuckin' rhetorical hostage situation that our politicians should feel free to escape from.