Can We Stop Pretending Anything Will Happen to Bill O'Reilly?

Yes, yes, yes, David Corn, you are correct: Fox "news" serial felcher Bill O'Reilly exaggerated his reporting from a "war zone" during the Falkland Islands conflict. At best, he was at a carnival that lost control. You got him, man, caught him dead to rights. He is a lying motherfucker who only compounds his crimes by insisting that he's not lying. He is a hypocritical cockhead, a bullying shitheel, and a fraudulent, petty bitch. And, yeah, yeah, his lies are worse than Brian Williams's because at least the NBC anchor didn't pretend to have saved somebody's life.

So the fuck what? All that reporting and two bucks will get you a tall Starbucks that tastes like bitter defeat (the new flavor for the end of winter).

The Rude Pundit's been there, Mother Jones. He had proof, backed up by the analysis of others, including Murdoch's own New York Post, that Ann Coulter was a lazy plagiarist. And we never heard from her again, right?

No one on the right cares about right-wing liars. They just don't. When is the last time a conservative was forced into the wilderness because they lied? Drug addict Rush Limbaugh was barely scratched when his oxy abuse and doctor shopping were revealed. Oliver North and G. Gordon Liddy are legit filthy criminals who have had large followings. Even in politics, David Vitter can do scat games and infant role-play with a whore, and he's not only still a senator, but he'll probably become governor of Louisiana. The only time a Republican is sent to the boneyard is if he gets some hot gay action, like poor Larry Craig.

And lying? Shit, if conservatives didn't lie, radio stations would go dead and Fox "news" would be five minutes of Shep Smith and hours of blonde women staring at the camera, smiling, hoping sweet death takes them soon. Lies are the fuel that runs the outrage engine that gets the base amped up and ready to vote for idiots. Lies are the titty milk to red state babies, needing to be nuzzled and told their fears and hatred have a basis in reality.

There's an entire industry devoted to proving that the right-wing media lies constantly. Has it driven a single person off the air because of the sheer weight of lies? Last time the Rude Pundit checked, Sean Hannity, Hugh Hewitt, Laura Ingraham, and the rest are still out there, peddling the same worn out lies. That's because the core audience fuckin' loves it. They lap up the lies with more intensity than we lap up the revelation of the lies. As long as there's cash to provide Roger Ailes with taint powder and man-boob slings, nothing's gonna change.

Bill O'Reilly could be telling us about how he single-handedly defeated Chang Kai-shek with a bamboo spear while getting a blow job from a grateful female SVA soldier, he could say how he was driving the van that took the trapped Argo gang to the Tehran airport, he could tell us that he faced down an angry Predator in the jungles of Nicaragua while ripping out the throats of Sandinistas and tossing their steaming guts at the monster, and most of the shut-ins, droolers, and maniacs watching would insist that anyone questioning him is a liberal asshat who is only jealous of O'Reilly's manly manliness. It's only sweeter when he threatens people with the wandering producer of justice.

So, sorry, everyone. Find another issue to hump. Bill O'Reilly will be on the air as long as there's breath in his body and blackness in his heart.