3/29/2010

A Few Things That Just Don't Make Sense:
This list is a little more random than usual, but put it all down under "Shit What You Can't Make Heads or Tails Of":

1. So it was fine to condemn Barack Obama for going to the church of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, who said a couple of controversial things. But no one says a word about all the politicians who fail to condemn the Pope, who covered-up for sex crimes, an act that is itself a crime. Indeed, how many Catholic politicians were in St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City yesterday to hear Archbishop Timothy Dolan defend Pope Benedict and compare his suffering to Christ's? Maybe black weighs more than white on the scales of outrage.

2. So somewhere around 9000 people gathered in the desert in Nevada this weekend to attack Harry Reid's tiny home town and listen to leather queen Sarah Palin speak about how only stupid people should be president. Many of the people there only had the time and money to make the trip because they are unemployed, retired, or disabled and live off government checks like, you know, unemployment and Social Security. In other words, the federal government is subsidizing the free speech of a bunch of people who are protesting that the government is taking away their freedoms. You're welcome, teabaggers.

3. Speaking of bondage gear, Michael Steele spent $1950 of Republican National Committee funds at Voyeur West Hollywood. Here's how one enthusiastic patron described the club: "There are topless 'dancers' acting out S&M scenes throughout the night on one of the side stages, there's a half-naked girl hanging from a net across the ceiling and at one point I walked to the bathroom and pretty much just stopped dead in my tracks to watch two girls simulating oral sex in a glass case." Obviously, Chairman Steele was there with potential donors in order to discuss health care reform and whether or not breast enhancement should be included.

4. So New York City is so broke that Mayor Bloomberg is blaming budget cuts for the rise in the murder rate. The number of cops has dropped by 5000 since 2000, with another 2000 headed for the chopping block. Yet the city is about to spend $1.4 million sifting through a shitpile of debris from 9/11 to look for a charred tooth or bone splinter in order to assuage the superstitions of a few hundred families who think their loved ones' ghosts are haunting the Fresh Kills landfill or some such shit.

5. Along those lines, why the fuck are we spending a quarter billion dollars on abstinence education when it's a demonstrable failure? You know what would cost less, fiscal conservatives? Abortions.

6. So it seems like the tactic that the right wing has adopted for dealing with the crazies on its side is to contort itself like a topless dancer at Voyeur trying to go down on another dancer inside a glass booth. James Taranto, in the Wall Street Journal (motto: "We were pretty scuzzy fuckwads even before Murdoch bought us"), says, "Not only does Palin's Facebook post not literally put anyone in the crosshairs--we're not even sure this is possible--but it doesn't even include a depiction of any Democrat in crosshairs. Rather, it features a map of the U.S. with stylized crosshairs indicating the districts represented by 20 Democrats." Now that's circus-worthy shit.

What are they gonna say about the Christian militia group just broken up by the FBI in Michigan? The Hutaree wanted to kill cops and blow up their funerals. They were also preparing for the Antichrist to fuck shit up. Is there a right-wing politician ready to knock down this cult-like madness? Or is it just too damn close to the ideology of their base? When will a Republican be told that he or she needs to have a Sister Souljah moment or risk losing the "moderates"? Oh, wait. That implies they still have moderates.