The Family Research Council: "The Cause of Faith Lost" Last Tuesday:
Oh, November 4, 2008 was a sad, sad day for we members of the mad, evangelical Family Research Council's Super-Duper Prayer Team. The Rude Pundit joined the SDPT a couple of years go under a nom de rude, and every week, he receives his prayerifyin' orders from the FRC (motto: "Father, why hast thou forsaken us?"). Our latest list o' godly demands is a despairing one, since it comes in the wake of the destruction of America by Americans tricked by the demon Obama (which, you know, sounds like a satanic chant).

In what can best be described as "putting lipstick on a urine-soaked crucifix," the FRC tells us, "God answered many of our fervent pre-election prayers! But the causes of faith, family and freedom lost significant ground." Does that mean that God is just fucking with us? No, of course not, you faithless bastards. It just means we gotta re-double our efforts: "With repentance and prayer, we must lay foundations for the next election, and not wait until then to plead for mercy to avoid greater, even more unthinkable losses! Focused prayer for our civil government must become part of the core of church life, if America and religious liberty are to survive."

The great thing about the Super-Duper Prayer Team's weekly prayerilingus list is that each admonition includes a suggested readin' from the Good Book (which is not, it seems, Tropic of Cancer, but the Bible). After the soul-stirring cry for us to pray harder, motherfuckers, pray harder, it is suggested that we look at 1 Timothy 2. So the Rude Pundit did.

The chapter begins with blah, blah, fuckin' blah about prayer bein' all great and shit. Then, round about verse 8, it starts. First saying that women should "adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." And it's got this lovely couple of verses: "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

So what's the implication here? Because, you know, it's the fuckin' Bible. There's other passages that say, "Pray real good." Is the Family Research Council, whose president, Tony Perkins, is a regular on Fox "news" and CNN, blaming feminism for the election losses? Well, of course it is. Otherwise, one has to blame oneself, adapt, change. Evolve, if you will.

The Super-Duper Prayer Team blast o' doom continues: "Our valiant prayer efforts did not impede the relentless march of the culture of death. Yet we mustn't retreat or yield to discouragement. Spirit-led, organized, strategic prayer efforts must be put into place long before the next election. We must prevail over the principalities and powers that energize the advocates of abortion and homosexuality, who now dominate our political institutions...Only mountain-moving prayer will stop them."

'Cause, see, nothing is more important than "the issues of our day: the abortion holocaust, the homosexual agenda, the indoctrination of children and other practices that must be stopped if America is to survive." That's followed by a happy little jig over the passage of the anti-gay marriage measures and other ballot initiatives, which, of course, is the product of the same prayerdomy that failed to get Republicans elected most everywhere. Not know the ways of God? Howzabout that that big fuckin' sky wizard's just in it for kicks?

Mainly what the updates of the Super-Duper Prayer Team reveal is how the Christian right is going to frame upcoming battles. And how they are already preparing to get their followers into the kind of savage froth one witnesses when watching a really intense baboon jack off.