Everything Is Broken, Part 1:
Oh, yeah, President Bush and the remaining mongers of war in Washington are getting their surge in Iraq. Except, you know, it's against us. Twenty-five Americans dead on Saturday, two on Sunday. A trifecta of bombings today, with Iraqi deaths from them approaching a c-note. And insane wads of fuck keep trying to justify their own existence in the world, like Bill "A Surge of Troops Gives Me a Surge in My Pants" Kristol over on Fox "news" yesterday, who said of Democrats opposed to the escalation,"It’s so irresponsible that they can’t be quiet for six or nine months and say the president has made a decision, we’re not going to change that decision, we’re not going to cut off funds and insist on the troops coming back, so let’s give it a chance to work. You really wonder, do they want it to work or not?"

In other words, it sucks when your well-trained little bitch decides it's time to nibble at the leather leash that's dug into her neck. Juan Williams (who has been looking for some time as if he's about ready to go bugfuck insane on Fox "news" Sunday's roundtable discussion, and it's been fun trying to figure out the moment when he'll actually rip off Britt Hume's head and beat Kristol to death with it before trying to shove Hume's blood-spewing corpse up Mort Kondracke's ass. A gore-covered Mara Liasson will run, shrieking, back to the gentle arms of NPR.) took the other neocon trying to live up to his father's reputation over his knee and spanked, "There’s something going on here you might pay attention to as opposed to just the politics of, if you don’t support this president, you don’t really want us to win."

And the urge to change the story is just darling: like whether Obama's pecs, Clinton's tits, or Richardson's man-boobs are hotter; like the bizarro way that Bush used his Saturday address to preview his State of the Union-fresh proposal on health care "reform," which seems to be to punish you for actually having health insurance. Here's some advice for Bush on that: Dude, seriously, unless you wanna actually cover everyone, shut the fuck up. It's just such embarrassingly transparent pandering that it's beneath you (which means it's lower than a mole's dick).

We are living in a time of grotesque disproportion, a time when everything must be measured relative to the one overwhelming thing that, for lack of a better word, occupies our national conscience. And because Iraq has forced us to view everything through its lens, we may only care about other things through shoving that out of the way for a moment or two, but we know it's there. Whatever else Bush talks about tomorrow night in his grand and glorious speech on the nation, it will hang around him like Hussein's noose. It ain't goin' away. It has shattered us. And everything is broken.

(Tip of the rude hat to Neil for the Kristol bit.)