Dobson's Mad Justice:
So, let's see if the Rude Pundit's got this straight: In James "Behold My Angelic Combover" Dobson's speech yesterday to the gathered parishioners who were in attendance for "Justice Sunday" (motto: Gonna Get Legislative On Your Asses), the bouncing ball of logic was careening around that Louisville church like a jackrabbit on a three-day meth binge. Apparently, Dobson learned everything he needed to know about the U.S. Constitution from his fourth-grade teacher, who may have been named Eunice Cobblower, but the Rude Pundit can't be sure because he's only watched the speech, thanks to the good people at Crooks and Liars. Quotes, thus, may be off a word or two. Said Dobson from Miss Cobblower's lawyerly erudition, "The Founding Fathers knew we are flawed individuals," and so they devised checks and balances between the branches of government. And then Dobson snarkily giggled that this was back during a time when you learned things a bit differently about the way government works, like say, when it was proper to lynch a niggrah in public, as opposed to in private.

Now, here's the weirdness: see, Dobson's got a problem with the Supreme Court, or, at least, "five black-robed judges" who can tell us all what to do. Those judges, one should acknowledge, were put on the court by a majority vote of the Senate based on the appointments of (mostly Republican) presidents. So, apparently, the majority can be wrong, whether it's the majority of the Supreme Court or the majority of the Senate, elected, one may presume, by a majority of the people in a majority of the states. So the will of the majority must not be given such power, right? Right? Got it? No, no, you don't, you stupid, godless fuck, because then, we learn, the problem is that the minority of Democrats (and a few "spongy Republicans," as Dobson put it, apparently comparing them to that prominent animated starfish fellater in square pants) can block judges that they deem too radical. So the will of the majority must be obeyed or judges will make decisions regarding shit like prayer in school that are "opposed by more than 70% of the American people," according to Doc Jimmy Dob.

This is just the beginning of the constitutional mindfucks Dobson engages in. In fact, that's Dobson's purpose: to actually crawl into your brain and fuck your cerebellum into acquiescence so that your mind, so covered in Dobson's foul seed, will be unable to comprehend that what Dobson actually said is this: The majority is wrong except when it's right.

And, because, apparently, dear, dear Miss Cobblower must have been killed by a harvesting machine before her lessons in the separation of powers ended, Dobson is able to say, in all seriousness, that the courts have "absolute power" in the nation. His expectation that his listeners are willfully or really stupid allows him to say that the ballot box is the “only means” by which we can affect the make up of the court. Well, no.

Let's make this put up or shut up time, motherfuckers. Dobson knows, Bill Frist knows, the sad Chuck Colson, the mad William Donohue, the smug Tony Perkins, they all know the Founders built in a mechanism that allows the people to enact their will on the form of the nation. See, right now, the whole debate about filibusters and "activist" judges is a matter of wanting the courts to solely rule in the favor of the evangelicals, the fundamentalists, the theocrats. But they're fuckin' scared of the truly nuclear option: try to get amendments into the Constitution. Then no judge can rule against you.

Once you go down that road, it's truly the end of one kind of civilization or another. Either the country is changed into a society that is opposed to its founding. Or it's the death knell of the entire radical fundamentalist agenda, because the nation would be forced to ask itself if it wants to be a no abortion, prayer in school, gay bashing regency just bidin' its time until Jeeeezus comes back to fuck us all up, or if it wants to be America.