Morbidly Obese White Men Will Destroy Your Precious Country:

That fat bastard is Gregory Lee Giusti. He made repeated calls threatening the life of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

That rolling ball of lard is Larry North. He planted 36 pipe bombs around his East Texas community in order to attack the government. He also drove the children's train at the local Syrup Festival. Of course he did.

That nattily dressed pusbomb is Newt Gingrich. He used to be someone important, but he was brought down by scandal and hubris. Yesterday, he told a group that presumably included many more fat white men that the United States is run by a "secular socialist machine," and he demanded that the Congress simply not fund the functions of the government. Oh, and he mocked the president for being athletic.

That monster who looks like he's choosing which child to devour in some horrible rite to appease his gigantic belly is New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. He's a Republican who has decided to slash the hell out of education in order to balance the budget. This has made some teachers' groups react stupidly. But, hey, Jersey, you put the fat white guy in charge. And, as we can see, the record for them lately is not strong.