Celebrating the Passage of a Flawed But Necessary Bill, Part 1: Taunting:
So, c'mon, Tea Party fuckers, where's your war? Are you waiting for marching orders from Glenn Beck? Didn't Nancy Pelosi just deliver 'em to you with a couple of votes to spare? The Senate bill's been passed. Health care reform is the law of the land. The Senate's just adding a few geegaws and excising a few lumps. Bring this shit on, you teabaggers with your mouths so full of Rush Limbaugh's saggy, useless balls and eyes so blinded by the reflection of klieg lights off Sarah Palin's glaring glasses and ears too numb by the subhuman grunting that goes on around you at your despicable rallies of hatred that you've become deaf, dumb, and blind to the reality of your own lives.
Instead, we're gonna see the actions of a bunch of cowardly cunts, led by men like the Foghorn Leghorn-sounding cocksucker who called Bart Stupak "baby killer" for voting for the bill (when Stupak ought to be more correctly called, "woman-hater") and won't even man up to admit that he did it. Or the craven vandals who threw bricks through the windows of Representative Louise Slaughter's Niagara Falls office and Democratic Party headquarters in Rochester, NY.
Or, even worse, the knuckle-dragging yahoos who got their rocks off by calling John Lewis "nigger" and Barney Frank "faggot" in halls of congressional offices. Yeah, the Rude Pundit bets that nigger guy and faggot guy saw each other across the lobby from each other and abandoned their "Kill the Bill" signs to rush into a janitor's closet, with faggot guy bending over a shelf and dropping his pants, telling nigger guy, "Fuck me, man, it won't make you a faggot." And nigger guy, resting his Coors beer gut against faggot guy's coccyx, started fucking away, his sweaty, hairy stomach rubbing, so big that he couldn't even lean in to give faggot guy a decent reacharound. No, of course, when you're balls deep in the ass of a fellow imbecile, it's hard to think about going off to fight the new Civil War.
So, c'mon, you town hall patriots, where's the guns your signs promised? What are you waiting for? Or is it that your cause is lost? Is it that it's time for you to get the fuck home and go work your shitty paying jobs while you still have them? Is it that it was just talk and a good picket sign all along and you're all just frightened, cornered, irrelevant cogs in a machine that was slick with the rancid grease of manipulation?
And, while desperate tools like John McCain pledge to repeal the bill, while court challenges await as Virginia questions why its college graduates ought to be under their parents' health insurance or Florida decides that its senior citizens should still have a donut hole in their prescription drug plane or Utah can't understand why insurers should have to cover its children with pre-existing conditions or Oklahoma thinks that insurance companies should be able to drop coverage for its sick citizens, while the Republican party wrecks itself over its failure to rein in those who threaten violence and insanity, we can say we defeated mob rule and our own despair. And, for a moment, we can crack open a beer to celebrate before we work to make the damn thing better.