Haiku Review of 2022: The Worst Person in the World

So we've done it again. As we have since 2004 in this rude piece of internet real estate, we've brought another year filled with the fantastic and the fucked to a fluttering close with our in-yer-face versions of lovely little haikus. Here's the last batch of them before we get the hell out of 2022 and welcome 2023, breath bated, loins girded, screams locked and loaded.

From Don J. in London, Ontario
Orange is the new Trump
The new Trump is the old Trump
Mar-a-Lago’s blue.

From Marcia in Massachusetts
Abortions happen
In shotgun shacks or back rooms
When choice is struck down

From Jeff in Alameda, CA
Kissing Putin’s ass
Stealing money right and left
I mean, fuck that guy

From Trans Dykes on Bikes for Christ, Emerald Triangle, CA
Plural pronouns thou
shalt not use for singular
We are not amused

From Plant Daddy in Portland, OR
Please die on your anti-vaxx hill
No MAGA asshole
Stay out of the woodchipper
I’ll be so triggered

From RG in Illinois
Knock Knock Knockin'...
"And you're here because...?
You do know I was brown, right?"
Said real Jesus.

And two more from me:
Drag Queens Aren't the Problem
Grooming is giving
Your child a gun and saying,
"Always shoot first, son."

It's Really Not So Difficult
"They" are we. We? Them.
Respect and love mean far more
Than abiding fools.

Much thanks to everyone who submitted. I mean, holy shit, I read a ton of haikus the last few days, with much amusement and even more delight and a touch of depression at what we've gone through this year. If I didn't choose yours, I'm still grateful I got the chance to check it out.

Now, fuck off, 2022. We're done with you. And, c'mon, 2023. Let's fuck shit up.

(Yeah, I know technically the film up top came out in 2021, but it didn't hit the US until this year, and it's terrific.)