Brett Kavanaugh's Lewinsky Memo Makes One Hell of a Poem

If Monica Lewinsky Says...
A poem by Brett Kavanaugh

That you inserted a cigar
into her vagina while
you were in the Oval
Office area

That you had phone
sex with her on
approximately 15

That on several occasions
in the Oval
Office area,
you used your fingers
to stimulate her vagina and
bring her to

That she gave you oral
sex on nine
occasions in the Oval
Office area

That you ejaculated
into her mouth on two
occasions in the Oval
Office area

That on several occasions
you had her
give her oral sex,
made her
and then
into the sink
in the bathroom
off the Oval

That you masturbated
into a trash
can in your secretary's

Would she

(Note: All of this is from a memo Kavanaugh wrote urging prosecutors to attack President Bill Clinton in 1998. Kavanaugh was working for Kenneth Starr during the "investigation" into Clinton lying under oath about blow jobs, something that so outraged the future judge and current nominee to the Supreme Court that he blew a fucking gasket over it. He demanded that Starr tear into Clinton, and the man who would smile and bow and scrape to Donald fuckin' Trump said of Clinton, "The president has disgraced his office, the legal system and the American people by having sex with a 22-year-old intern and turning her life into a shambles — callous and disgusting behavior that has somehow gotten lost in the shuffle." Apparently, that only goes for Democrats. He'll gladly allow his entire career to come down to the blessings of a man who Kavanaugh has no qualms pretending hasn't disgraced the presidency.

While he supposedly would later "regret" this memo, he wrote it as an official document. If Twitter had been around and he had tweeted this kind of shit out, his career might well be over. Instead, he'll probably get a lifetime appointment to the highest court in the land and fuck with the lives of Americans for decades.

Someone in this story is a cocksucker. And it ain't Monica Lewinsky.)