Yesterday, in his neverending quest to spend as little time as possible actually doing the goddamned work of being president, Donald Trump brought his road show, It's All About Me, Bitches, to the national convention of the Veterans of Foreign Wars, held in Kansas City, Missouri.
Now you might think that a group of war veterans (you know, it's in the damn name), many of whom are probably bearing injuries or scars or PTSD from their time in battle, might not give two latrine shits about listening to a manicured tanning enthusiast who avoided service by claiming bone spurs talk about how tough he is. But you'd be wrong. Because the 4000 vets (in an arena that seats about 10,000) were ready to hoot and holler about every bullshit thing that Trump slurred and slopped and bellowed about.
Most of it was the usual shuck and jive. He propagandized, "We don’t apologize for America anymore. We stand up for America," adding for good measure, so nobody forgot how much to hate black football players, "And we stand up for our National Anthem," all to applause and cheers. He whipped the crowd into an angry froth when he brought up Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill's opposition to the Republicans' worthless, economy-dicking tax cuts, with the vets booing as Trump sharted, "We had tremendous opposition for lowering your taxes from Claire McCaskill. She voted against. Unbelievable."
Yes, the gathered ex-soldiers booed and booed, even though McCaskill, a Democrat, has arguably done more for, you know, fuckin' veterans than nearly any other member of Congress. Just a couple of months ago, she got $25 million for construction and renovation of veterans homes in Missouri. But, no, really, go ahead, you fuckin' shrimp-brained assholes, boo her. Then Trump completed his trifecta of women he despises by bringing up Maxine Waters and Nancy Pelosi to further hooting and boos.
Riffing on how no one thinks his tariffs are a good idea (again, he was speaking to the VFW, noted tariff experts all), Trump went full Orwell. "Just stick with us. Don’t believe the crap you see from these people — the fake news," he said, and, a few moments later, "What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening." This caused some particularly enraged attendees to turn around and curse the reporters who were there to cover their fucking convention.
And I get that everyone's rending their much-rent garments over this dumb motherfucker just outright saying it, but, c'mon, this has been what he's been doing with his followers from the moment his mutant thumbs first tapped out a tweet from the shitter. Trump has always insisted that that he exists in a fantasy that he demands everyone share. That's how the fuck con artists work. He's on record saying that his wealth is based on "my own feelings." You gonna believe numbers on a ledger or the delusions of a mentally-ill charlatan pulling his last, greatest grift?
The VFW ended up issuing an apology of sorts, admonishing their members for attacking media outlets that give the organization unquestioningly positive treatment.
The whole event was also a chance for Trump to endorse one of the GOP cock mites up for the nomination to run against McCaskill for the Senate. In this case, it was Josh Hawley, an anti-Obamacare prick Attorney General of Missouri. He had Hawley speak and, as always when Trump calls on someone to say something, Hawley slicked up his lips with vaseline and went to town: "You know, when I think about President Trump, there’s one word that comes to mind. That word is 'courage.'" Oh, but Hawley was just getting his sucking momentum going: "[T]here’s one guy who had the guts to actually fulfill his promises, the guts to move our embassy to Jerusalem, the guts to actually stand up against our enemies overseas, the guts to put conservatives on the Supreme Court of the United States — and that’s Donald Trump."
Somewhere, a tear fell from Mike Pence's eye as he realized that he'd have to learn new methods of fellatio and analingus to keep his place as First Toady.
By the way, for shits and giggles, I looked up one of President Obama's speeches to the VFW, one he gave in 2015. Remember how the right used to talk about Obama's huge ego because he said "I" or "me" all the time? (If you don't, yeah, that was totally a thing.) Obama said "I" about 45 times. Trump said it twice that many, around 90, yesterday.
And Obama didn't have anyone come out to slobberingly bob on his knob about how amazing he is and how we're all so fucking lucky to be allowed to bob on his knob. Obama also focused his speech almost entirely on defense and veterans issues, unlike Trump, who jacked it to MS-13 threats and trade deals. But, then again, Trump didn't talk about himself and completely tangential shit while black, so no one cares.
