In a continuation of the new genre in journalism that we'll call "Dumb Fucks Still Love Trump, Are Dumb," the Washington Post's Stephanie McCrummen traveled to Luverne, Alabama, to see how the evangelical Christian white people there feel about the man that 72% of them voted for in 2016. And guess the fuck what? These Jesus-fellating, science-denying, reality-ignoring racists would let Trump grab their daughters by the pussy if he said it would Make America Great Again.
Let me pause here to say that I've driven through Luverne on a number of occasions. It is what we might kindly say is "in the middle of buttfuck nowhere." I feel more unsafe there than in any big city I've ever been to. You wanna know about the place? Crenshaw County, which has less than 10,000 people, and is where Luverne is, recently put up a new Confederate monument as part of its Confederate Veterans Memorial Park. That's multidimensional stupid.
While McCrummen does include the voices of Luvernians who have their doubts about the morality of Donald Trump, a man whose pretty much commits the Seven Deadly Sins every fuckin' day, with an emphasis on Sloth, Pride, and Wrath, most of the good churchgoers in the article have contorted themselves like a double-jointed porn star in order to support the president. They believe that God himself sent Trump to lead the nation in order to defeat the "evil" (their word) Hillary Clinton and to overturn the legacy of Barack Obama, who, according to one Luverne woman who is living in an alternate universe we might call "Breitbartiana," "was acting at the behest of the Islamic nation." This woman and a friend declared that when the Bible says, "Love thy neighbor," it really means, "Love thy American neighbor."
("The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born," says Leviticus 19:34, but, you know, that's only the book where we get the Ten Commandments, so what do they know?)
Hell, even when having doubts about Trump, the people of Luverne sound fucking insane. Here's how one describes, well, Hell: "Each person is gonna be on an islandlike place, and fire all around it. And they’re gonna be in complete darkness, and over time, your eyes will go. And worms’ll eat on you." How the fuck do you reason with that? Or with the people who are sure that liberals and/or black people are agitating for a new civil war? How the fuck do you begin to attempt to bridge that gap? By saying they should support free college education? Man, these motherfuckers would tell you to shove it up your ass, commie. By saying that Trump's tariffs are gonna hurt the auto parts factories that form the economic base of the area? Funny thing about that...
Over in Ohio, at Banner Metals, where they make parts for various machines, the workers there don't really give a loose lizard shit about the harm that tariffs might do to them. Said one technician, "If it comes out of my paycheck, so be it. You got to look at the big picture. That tiny bit of sacrifice we make will create jobs." I wrote last week about a whole bunch of these white people ready to sacrifice themselves on the altar of Trumponomics, the same people who would have rather watched their families die than accept government-supported health insurance.
Democrats need to forget about places like Luverne, Alabama, when it comes to elections. The people there will benefit from liberal policies, whether they like it or not. Shit, just expanded Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act would get 200,000 people in Alabama health care. But they are not gonna get out and vote Democrat, not for Bernie, not for Biden, not for Kamala. It's not gonna happen. Don't waste your fucking time. 63% of Crenshaw County went for Roy Moore last year.
And, for fuck's sake, across the board, stop fetishizing the Trump voter and Trump areas. How about an article on how people are faring in areas like Dallas County in Texas or Dallas County in Alabama, where they went for Clinton by big numbers in a sea of Trump counties? They have valid American stories, too. In fact, even more valid and even more American, if we're, you know, measuring by popular vote.
