As with so much of our recent history, you can only understand Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server if you take into account Bill Clinton's penis in the late 1990s. For the better part of two years, on an almost nightly basis, especially in 1997 and 1998, we heard about the President's penis. We were treated to descriptions of it. The government investigated and told us with graphic detail whether it had been in a mouth or vagina or hand of one woman or another. We got to read or hear depositions in various cases involving Clinton's penis, like this from Gerry Spence on CNN on April 21, 1998: "I read -- the president's deposition here. And we see the president -- answering questions like 'Did you -- did she kiss your penis?'" On the floor of Congress, during the trial for Clinton, his penis was brought up when prosecuting congressdouche James Sensenbrenner said, really, "Among the President's lies to his aides, described in detail later in this brief, were that Ms. Lewinsky did not perform oral sex on him."
Most Americans eventually found the unrelenting emphasis on a penis less titillating and less funny after a while and just overly moralistic, hypocritical, and ludicrous. It's one reason that Clinton wasn't removed from office for lying under oath about where his penis spent time.
These things actually happened. This is history. As much as we try to, you cannot divorce history from the circumstances that are occurring now. And you know who was there the whole time? The person who was constantly questioned about the penis? The person who had been attacked ruthlessly by her husband's enemies for over five years? Yeah, that was Hillary Clinton.
Imagine for a moment that you had to hear about your spouse or partner's genitals constantly. You might wanna bail on them, sure. But one of the reasons that Republicans wanted to degrade Bill Clinton was to punish his cunt-feminist-lawyer wife for daring to be a First Lady involved in policy and not just picking china and telling schoolkids to read or some such shit. So you might think, "Yeah, fuck them," defend the offending partner, and bear it out, taking all the punches and kicks that come your way. A little emotional PTSD never hurt anyone, right?
Fast-forward to 2009 and Hillary Clinton becomes Secretary of State, confirmed on a 94-2 vote, including some of the very motherfuckers who tried so desperately to destroy her. And, as Secretary of State, Clinton sees how pathetic and outdated the IT at the State Department is (and remains throughout her tenure) due to perpetual underfunding, and she knows that the same motherfuckers will gun for her when they get a shot, so, fuck it, do the home server. It's just a little hinkier than what Colin Powell had done, and he got away with it.
So, yeah, who really gives a fuck what Clinton did here unless you're just trying to score political points or make a Bernie Sanders "Hail Mary" pass? Why should we give a fuck? FBI Director James Comey, a Republican, did his goddamnedest to make the whole thing seem sinister, but, basically, all he really said was "Sorry. Nothing really happened here. Can we go back to framing idiots for terrorism now?"
And yet.
One thing that this blogger can't get his little brain around is that Clinton lied to us. She didn't lie to the FBI (like David Petraeus, who, despite Fox "news" spin, did things that were far, far worse than anything Clinton was even accused of doing), but she wasn't truthful to us, the voters, about the whole email situation. Yeah, you can argue that the classification system is a clusterfuck between agencies and impossible to keep track of, but that's why you fucking ask someone, that's why you act as cautiously as possible. Goddamnit, we know all politicians lie and prevaricate and hedge. But this kind of self-inflicted wound just confirms any biases about Clinton and pushes people on the fence onto the lawn of the distrustful (which isn't always greener, but the people there tell themselves it is). As this blog said nearly a year ago, Clinton should have just announced, "Fuck, yeah, I used my own server. I know these cocksuckers in Congress. You don't."
We were always going to hear endlessly about the emails. It will be in every fucking congressional ad, like it's the greatest GOP porn ever created, where the Statue of Liberty is face raped by Benghazi and ass raped by an email server wearing a Hillary mask while some white inbred freak stands there, jacking off and saying that if you want to stop Crooked, Raping Hillary, vote White Inbred Freak to make America Great for White Inbred Freaks Again.
Shit, if Clinton becomes president, if the Democrats don't win back at least one house of Congress, you can bet that impeachment articles will be on the table on Day One. It's gonna be a fuckin' nightmare. And if you don't believe that, see the first part up there about how we spent two years of our democracy arguing over whether or not the President's dick was in a particular orifice. It's exhausting just thinking about that.
And yet.
There is no telling what would have happened if the Republican Party had nominated a relatively sane person, a typical conservative twat flea, Bush or Christie, shit, even Rubio. But they didn't. They nominated Donald Trump, a madman with the hair and politics of an anime Nazi. And that madman praises other madmen for their madness, as Trump did by blowing the corpse of Saddam Hussein for his brave murder of his own people without trial. If that doesn't scare the shit out of you, if that doesn't make you say, "Okay, fuck it, fine, Hillary. Maybe we can have a re-do in 2020," then you don't understand history (or the election of 2000, where Bush shouldn't have even been within electoral striking distance of Al Gore, but Americans, man, we love to go all in on a pair of twos).
And yet.
This blogger can't escape the feeling that he is less a voter in this election than an unwilling accomplice (not about the stupid emails, but to enabling a certain power dynamic to continue, not that he knows how to change it anymore).
And yet.
He still wants to vote for the first woman for president.
Goddamn this election. Goddamn this era. And goddamn Bill Clinton's penis and all that sprung from it (except Chelsea - she seems nice).
