5/12/2016

The Exhausting Part of Defending Hillary Clinton

Once again, as he does, the Rude Pundit found himself talking to a millennial about the upcoming election. She hates Trump, doesn't care for Bernie, and "couldn't possibly vote for Hillary." Her reasoning was "Well, there's what she did during Benghazi." What did she do? the Rude Pundit asked. "You know. When she didn't do anything about it. How she lied about it. You know."

Once again, the Rude Pundit flipped the fuck out: "No, stop it. Stop right there."

"No," she insisted. "Americans died."

The Rude Pundit threw up his hands. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he said. "Stop pretending that Benghazi is 9/11 plus Pearl Harbor times the Holocaust. 'Benghazi' is just a code word, something that conservatives have beaten into your brain so that when you hear it, your Pavlovian response is to drool over it. You know what Hillary Clinton did wrong? Do you?" She shook her head. "Nothing. Not a goddamned thing. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fucking liar. There have been at least half a dozen investigations, mostly by Republicans and you know what they found? Nothing. But you keep reading your Facebook bullshitters telling you that 4 Americans killed in an unpredictable blow-up is the most important fucking thing in your lifetime and that bitch Hillary personally murdered everyone just so she could say it was over a video or whatever the fuck stupidity you believe." Yeah, he's a little tired of this conversation.

The millennial didn't care. She didn't care about that and she didn't care when the Rude Pundit explained that he's a Bernie voter and that if you don't want to vote for Hillary, do it because of what she believes, not because of whatever slander and propaganda have been tossed like eggs at your car. Except, truth be told, the Rude Pundit isn't being totally honest here.

See, one of the things that turned him against Clinton in 2008 is something that has given him pause this year. Call it "Clinton fake-scandal fatigue." It's the exhaustion that sets in every time someone brings up the email server or the Bill's affairs or, for fuck's sake, Benghazi, the nonstop noise of an old machine grinding for one last election.

You wanna know what the next six months is gonna be like if Clinton's the nominee? Check out the anti-Hillary Benghazi video that Trump's campaign put out this week on Instagram. It features this image:


That's Hillary Clinton laughing while the consulate in Libya burns. It's so fucking over the top. It's so fucking ridiculous. And it will gin up all the associations that Trump wants. It layers lies on top of bullshit until it forms strata of fuckery. Most of us will see it and roll our eyes at how hyperbolic it is. But we're not who it's directed at. It's aimed at anyone who is on the fence. It's aimed at the dumbasses who believe it anyways and just wanna get their blood all het up agin.

 And the fact that it's a retread of part of a Trump video from November means that we're going to see it over and over.

So, yeah, there's a part of this voter that thinks, "Goddamnit, we went through that for a good chunk of the 1990s. We can't go through it again." And that part fights against the part that say, "Fuck these lying fuckers for their fucking lies. Let's fight, motherfuckers." But it's just...enough, you know? You wanna put up the white flag and say, "Fine. You win. Now deal with Bernie." Because, yeah, they are going to throw everything under the red-baiting sun at Sanders, but there is no narrative for him. The narrative has to be created. All that has to be done for Clinton is a simple reminder, an image, a word.

Again, again, the Rude Pundit will say that he'll vote for Clinton in the general if she's the nominee. But, for now, he just wants to dream a bit.Trump doesn't stand a chance. This tax issue is gonna bite his ass mightily. And if you wanna see crowds, wait until President Obama gets out on the campaign trail for a Farewell/Legacy Protection Tour. Those things will happen whether Hillary is totally inevitable or if Bernie pulls out a totally improbable victory.

"Wait until they bring up Vince Foster," said another millennial, listening in on the earlier conversation.

"If that happens, fuck it. I'm outta here," the Rude Pundit said. "I'm heading to Canada. That Justin Trudeau is dreamy."