Senoras y Senores, Candidato Republicano Donald Trump

Hey, Republicans, that buffoon up there is your candidate for president. Your voters want him. That fake motherfucker fake eatin' a bowl of fake Mexican food and claiming it's awesome represents the party of Ulysses S. Grant and Teddy Roosevelt. Shit, Donald Trump makes fuckin' Warren G. Harding look like a goddamn golden hero.

How does that feel, John McCain? Lindsey Graham? Kelly Ayotte? All you supposedly once-rational Republicans? How do you feel seeing your party's standard bearer acting like he's gonna stuff thousands of calories and a tub of lard into his fat fucking cheddar-colored face?

"I love Hispanics!" his tweet screams, which is an improvement on his Archie Bunker-esque "I love the Hispanics" that he's been saying in every stream of consciousness speech, like in Pennsylvania recently: "I love the Hispanics, and I’m going to get so many jobs for the Hispanics, for the African Americans, for people that can’t get jobs now."

Meanwhile, Trump has doubled down on his vision of a deportation force rounding up undocumented immigrants, no doubt going into the homes of immigrants here legally, to drag away parents and break up families. It's an effort that one center-right think tank has estimated would kick the American economy right in the nuts. It would "reduce real private sector output by 2.9 percent to 4.7 percent or $381.5 billion to $623.2 billion." Or, you know, cause a shitload of unemployment.

But, hey, jump on board the hateful white-supremacist train, Nikki Haley (who, in a mighty stand, said she'll support Trump but won't be his vice president), Mitch McConnell, and Senator Richard Burr. One thing is for sure: After Trump finishes that taco salad, he'll be ready to shit all over anyone who is near him. And then he'll get Chris Christie to wipe his ass.

Man, Republicans, you have fucked yourself hard.