3/19/2015

Indiana Shows Us How GOP Priorities Will Kill Us All


That is an explosion coming out of a manhole at around 6:45 this morning in downtown Indianapolis, Indiana. It's one place where the NCAA College Basketball Tournament is taking place. In fact, several explosions were reported around downtown, blowing out manhole covers. Indianapolis Power and Light Company has assured the public that this has nothing to do with aging infrastructure. Oh, no. It's about electrical cables and the weather. Just like on Monday.

Oh, yeah, right. Probably should mention here that another explosion occurred on Monday. That was caused by a 35 year-old transformer "malfunctioning," which is totally not infrastructure.

As the city gears up for the games of the Final Four, IPL can't guarantee that more explosions won't occur when thousands of fans are in the streets: "When dealing with a large underground electrical system, incidents like Thursday's are a matter of science and 'the laws of physics will prevail,' said Joe Bentley, senior vice president of customer operations at IPL." Ah, physics. Who can tell what wacky things happen because of its laws?

Speaking of laws, the Indiana General Assembly is meeting to decide on some new laws. No, not about upgrading or improving the electrical grid or the infrastructure or whatever is causing the fiery, smoky explosions in the middle of downtown Indianapolis. There's something far more important that needs the attention of the legislature: making sure that no one has to provide services to fags and dykes.

Sorry, wait, that's an unfair description of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. Like such measures in other states, it allows businesses, churches, anyone, really, from violating their religion to bake a gay cake. If you feel your "exercise of religion has been substantially burdened, or is likely to be substantially burdened" by putting together a nice bouquet for a lesbian couple, you can refuse and no one can do anything about it or you can sue.

The bill passed through its first test, the House Judiciary Committee, on Monday. A few hours later, the transformer blew out underground near the Capitol, filling the streets with smoke. Last August, a series of transformers exploded, closing down another part of the city. Just like in 2013, 2012, and 2011. Those manhole covers just keep bursting out at all times of year. Someone is gonna get killed.

But at least preachers won't have to marry those gay guys.

(Thanks to John K., the long-lost Rude Two, for the heads up on the stories.)