When it comes to the accusations, made by Hoboken Mayor Dawn Zimmer against New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and his administration, the stupidest motherfuckers in the mainstream media are asking the same questions: Why didn't she come forward earlier? Why did she praise Christie even after she had her supposedly strong-arming conversation with Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno? And, hey, what about all the money Hoboken got and/or why does Hoboken need to get more than other places in a small pot? The hecklers are led by small-faced Starbucks spokesjerk Joe Scarborough and his dimwitted, dull ward, Mika Brzzzzezzzinski, who readily, gleefully admit that they are Christie's friends and media accomplices. So let's take these one at a time, shall we?
1. "Why didn't Zimmer come forward earlier?" If you have to ask that question, you are either a liar or a dumb fuck. Pre-Bridgegate, no one could lay a glove on Christie. Here's a governor who wasted millions of taxpayer dollars on a special election for Senate two weeks before the general election because he didn't want Cory Booker voters at the polls for the gubernatorial race. Christie wanted to run up the score (a goal that Christie admitted to at his Bridgegate press conference). That's a fuckin' scandal right there, especially when you're cutting things like education. But that got no traction.
Now, Zimmer's the mayor of a town of 50,000 people, many of them well-paid professionals on really expensive property. Because she was relatively new to the political game when she became mayor, she had had little reason to dislike Christie. And, hey, Christie hadn't dicked over Hoboken. But she was desperately trying to get funds for Hoboken, which was fucked like a cat in heat by Superstorm Sandy, to try to make sure it didn't get walloped as badly by the next storm. When Guadagno made her implicit threat over the Rockefeller Group development deal, there was still no way she was going to out Christie as a corrupt bully trying to enrich his friends. That's the frustration to the point of tears that comes out in her personal journal entries. (And let's not leave out that Zimmer herself was in a reelection battle at this point, too. Perhaps that was occupying her time and effort.)
Scarborough made a big deal about how Zimmer wouldn't accuse Christie of anything while his approval was at 60%. No shit. Zimmer still needed Christie for many things, not just the Sandy funds. In a government filled with his cronies and dupes, she had no chance. She'd have been dismissed outright, especially by a media that couldn't get enough of kissing Christie's pimpled ass.
But the George Washington Bridge scandal was an opening, and she took it. Christie dropped his hands, and she jabbed. Obviously, it was a political calculation. As a mayor trying to do good by her constituents, she had to figure that this might be the best chance to get Hoboken the funding it needs. And if it took down the asshole who tried to intimidate her, well, so much the better.
2. "If she thought he was corrupt, why did Zimmer praise Christie?" is mostly answered above. But since it's a couple of tweets that every Christie water carrier points to, let's give those the right context, shall we?
The first tweet from Zimmer, at the bottom, was a response to a tweet about her refusal to endorse the governor. The second tweet was a clarification. Both sent on the same day, they really don't paint a picture of someone who goes out of her way to praise someone. Instead, they are political ass-covering, a desire not to piss off a bully. But, again, she was running for mayor in the only area in the state where Christie didn't have majority support. It was a tightrope walk. But it's important to point out that, without the initial tweet about her, Zimmer would not have praised Christie at all.
3. As for the money that Hoboken got, the $70 million figure that the Christie administration has thrown around is almost all from individual and business flood insurance claims and have nothing to do with help for flood mitigation. Now, yes, there was no way that Hoboken was gonna get the $100 million it asked for out of a federal pot of $300 million, only $25 million of which was designated to go to municipalities (something else that ought to be looked at, since Christie spent nearly that much on tourism ads starring Chris Christie). Zimmer even acknowledges that.
Let's put this in a little more context. On the Jersey Shore, the government has spent millions of dollars on easements to get land from property owners in order to construct protective dunes. (And Christie has moved to eminent domain in order to dick over the people he hasn't dicked over yet.) This is not to mention the cost of the dunes themselves.
Is it irrational for one of the most damaged cities, a popular weekend and tourist destination, in New Jersey to expect the same kind of treatment? And a governor can always ask for more money from the federal government.
4. The question for people who don't believe Zimmer: What's the mayor's motivation in doing this? If she's lying, she's completely discredited and her political career is over. And since she's talked to the U.S. Attorney's office, she could even face criminal charges. So what's the motivation, if not to help her town and take out a corrupt public official?
5. As for Chris Christie? Here's a story, a parable, if you will, to end this post:
The Rude Pundit once knew a male prostitute who had left the business. For the fuck of it, let's call him "Clyde." Sometimes, when he was drunk or high, Clyde'd tell everyone stories of his time as a decently-paid escort. They were not glamorous gigolo shit, even though he wasn't street meat. They were disgusting, debasing experiences. One that stuck with all of us in that group was a tale of a regular client of Clyde's. The john was a well-known lawyer who was morbidly, hideously obese with a gut that might now be called Fordesque. In order to suck the john's dick, Clyde would have to position himself on his knees with the john's sweaty stomach resting on his head. It's an image the Rude Pundit has used before in this here blog. But there was one other thing about the lawyer. He was grateful that Clyde was willing to do it and do it well. The lawyer's wife wouldn't even try, and so he paid Clyde a lot extra. However, he was angry at all the escorts who either refused or tried and failed. He wanted to get them fired from the escort service. He wanted to lash out at anyone who didn't pleasure him the way he wanted to be pleasured. Clyde was just glad he was on the john's good side, which was kneeling at his fleshy altar, although, Clyde said, if there was ever a client he wanted to expose, it was this bastard.
(Note: Due to some confusion, the Rude Pundit wants to be clear: the john is not Chris Christie. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a parable. It would be news.)
