Republicans Get Back to Their Roots:
When you've got nothing left, you finally get back to basics. Republicans have tried everything to slow the Obama/Democratic juggernaut this year. And nothing - discussions of tax policy, health care, national security (which has worked so very often), and more - has stuck. So what's left? Time to get old school on some motherfuckers. Time to bring out the arguments that Republicans (and the right wing in general) have used again and again to try to rip this fucking election out of its seemingly inevitable ending. And that means it's time to unleash the ancient demons to divide and conquer or, at the very least, just divide. For instance:

Blackfacing Powell:
We finally know that, now that he's endorsed Barack Obama, Colin Powell is just another nigger to the right wing. Oh, fuck, conservatives couldn't get enough of Powell for so long, loving that he had all those medals and that woolly hair and was black (but not so black as to make others uncomfortable), and that they could even let him in the front door of the White House because they could trot him out to make any despicable cause seem honorable and just. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Powell's finally learning that, at the end of the day, how easy it is to get that coal black smudged on his face so that he's only a brother who, of course, would support a brother because he's a brother. By supporting Obama, he's demonstrating that deep inside his nigger heart was another coon waiting for a chance to bite his generous massa's hand.

It's fuckin' hilarious, innit? To hear how quickly the right has rendered Powell's endorsement as race-based, as the porcine shitbucket that undulates like a human, Rush Limbaugh, couldn't even wait until his show today to attack Powell for that very reason, as Nazi-lovin' Pat Buchanan seconded. And they simply act as if "Well, isn't it obvious?" that he'd do it because of their shared negritude. Powell's learning that no matter how much he's done the bidding of the right, honor and respect is cheap among motherfuckers because, if they'd fuck their mothers, then they would surely fuck you.

So now it's fine to say that the newspapers that endorsed John McCain, and Richard Petty and retired generals and others, only did because McCain's white. Let's have that goddamn discussion.

Why Not Bolsheviks?:
John McCain, in his typically pussy style, has started implying, without directly saying, that Barack Obama's tax policies are "socialism." Look at this little bitch way he's doing it: "You see, he believes in redistributing wealth, not in policies that help us all make more of it. Joe, in his plainspoken way, said this sounded a lot like socialism. And a lot of Americans are thinking along those same lines."

You see that? John McCain's not saying it's socialism, but Joe the fuckin' plumber is sayin' it. And Joe? That cocksucker is talkin' for all Americans now - he's our fuckin' blue collar spokesdude. McCain went on in his punk ass radio address, "In Europe, the Socialist leaders who so admire my opponent are upfront about their objectives." Hey, he's just reporting.

In Fayetteville, North Carolina, which may or may not be "real America" or "real North Carolina," because it's got colleges and it's hard to keep track of what's real in this country anymore, a woman at a diner started yelling, "Socialist, socialist, socialist" at Barack Obama. But because Obama's not a little bitch, he went over to the woman, who refused to engage with him because, ultimately, she's a coward and an idiot who wouldn't know real and actual socialism if it bit her on the ass and yelled, "I'm Socialism." And, truly, do we not know what she really wanted to shout?

Why not just say that Obama is Bolshevik? That he's gonna bring Leninism to the United States? Why not say he's a wild-eyed bohemian bent on bombing shit? (Oh, wait, they're already saying that.) Obama's "socialism" is to pay for a tax credit for the middle class by raising taxes on the wealthy, which would actually pay for far more than just the tax cut. For McCain that's "redistribution of wealth." Tell you what: when Obama proposes gutting the carcasses of the rich for food, taking their land, and giving their possessions to the poor, we can talk.

Hell, at least Michelle Bachman had the guts (briefly) to just say that Obama is anti-American.