Photos That Make the Rude Pundit Want to Down Antipsychotics While Googling "Dementia":

John McCain is fucking old. There's no joke there. It's just a simple truth: he's fucking old. Even by basic statistics: the life expectancy of a male in the United States is 75.29 years. That doesn't necessarily mean McCain would keel over midway through the first term of his presidency, but it does mean that every year past 75 would be beating the spread. The Rude Pundit doesn't want a goddamn president who, every time he sees him, he thinks, "Damn, ain't it great that medical science has advanced to the point where he can still be alive and healthy."

And he sure as shit doesn't want a president who is learning how to use the internet while campaigning for the job. You wanna talk about flip-flops and positions taken for political expediency? In response to McCain's admission that he knows about as much about "a Google" as he does about Jay-Z's oeuvre, the Republican candidate pretty much said that, for the sake of people concerned about it, he'll learn how to surf the web. In other words, he was against computers before he was for them.

The Rude Pundit wants a president who not only knows what it means to google, but can find twenty different kinds of Asian tentacle porn inside two minutes. He wants a president who doesn't think that Facebook is a particularly painful move Moe did to Curly while they were in a library. He wants a president who doesn't think that Twitter is only what his/her heart does when he/she is feeling agitated at things like people being upset at his/her lack of knowledge of contemporary life.

By the way, McCain there is visiting a trucking company in Omaha, Nebraska yesterday. It's where he went after he gave a speech to the NAACP. One can assume he needed a racial palate cleanser after all that pandering.

(Note: Hittin' the road. Tomorrow - blogging from Austin, the bluest little town in the red sea of Texas.)