Christ Weary of Supreme Court Nominees (and James Dobson), Part 2:
When President Bush declared that he chose Harriet Miers because of who she is and that her evangelical Christian worship is part of who she is, Bush was making a threat to the non-evangelical majority of the country: if he gets his way, he declares, it's their nation now. While he may not have meant it, since the Rude Pundit believes Bush has a bad habit of speaking whatever the demons in his grey head tell him to speak, Bush was throwing down a gauntlet: Fuck with this nominee, and you fuck with Jesus.

As others have pointed out, to declare that Miers' hotel-bound church-going is a reason to approve her for the Supreme Court is, at the least, to merge church and state, and, at worst, to quite possibly violate the Constitution. It's one thing to assure people that a nominee's religion won't influence his or her decision-making (a la John Roberts and his Catholicism). But it's quite something else to assure people that a nominee's Jesus-lovin' will absolutely have an impact on his or her decision-making.

But that's exactly what Karl Rove did for James "Behold My Stereotypically Creepily Effeminate Voice" Dobson, head of Focus on the Family and, apparently, someone who has so much access to the White House that he must be hand-jobbed into complacency by a much-distracted Rove. This week, Dobson took the pussy way out of his original statement of being assured by Rove in a "confidential" conversation that Miers was one of their own.

Parse these words, motherfuckers: "What did Karl Rove say to me that I knew on Monday that I couldn’t reveal? Well, it’s what we all know now, that Harriet Miers is an Evangelical Christian, that she is from a very conservative church, which is almost universally pro-life, that she had taken on the American Bar Association on the issue of abortion and fought for a policy that would not be supportive of abortion, that she had been a member of the Texas Right to Life." And then, later, Dobson said, "Karl Rove didn’t tell me anything about the way Harriet Miers would vote on cases that may come before the Supreme Court. We did not discuss Roe v. Wade in any context or any other pending issue that will be considered by the Court. I did not ask that question."

Goddamn, these assholes weasel the language worse than a used car salesman. Let's get legalistic on their asses: First of all, it's the outright lie: if Karl Rove mentions "the issue of abortion," then they discussed a "pending issue," no? And then you don't need to discuss Roe v. Wade or, for that matter, any "cases" in order to get the info you want. Look at this questions: Does Harriet Miers support abortion rights? No mention of Roe there. Dobson cannot state, explicitly, that he and Rove did not talk about abortion. What Dobson does say is that he was assured that Miers belonged to a wacked-out deluded Christian church and that she has fought against abortion rights because of her membership in said wacked-out deluded Christian church. (Miers' Cornerstone Christian Church is a breakaway group from the Valley View Christian Church of Dallas. The group claims they didn't disagree with doctrine, but over leadership, so one can assume that Cornerstone believes what Valley View preached.)

There's talk that Cheney and Alberto Gonzales were against the nomination of Miers, but maybe, just maybe, Bush (through Rove) want this war over faith. It's a great distraction from, well, other upcoming events. What they didn't expect was that the war would be fought by the faithful. Even as the feeble and mad Pat Robertson threatens the re-election of GOP Senators who might vote against Miers, even as little Dickie Land of the Southern Baptist Convention says he supports Miers because he "trusts the President," other Christian and right-wing organizations are either opposing Miers or staying on the sidelines.

Here's the latest from the Family Research Council's Tony "No, Seriously, It's Not Funny Anymore - I'm Not That Guy From Psycho" Perkins, which has decided to take a "wait and see" approach to Miers: "We are the last people on earth to object to the news that [Miers] is a committed Christian; the Good News is, above all, great news for her. And we reiterate, this fact about her is neither grounds for objection nor a fit object for examination by the Senate. By the same token, this fact is not grounds for certifying her to us or to the public. It's not just that religious conviction is an unreliable indicator of a judicial philosophy (though it clearly is), it's that inferences drawn from an individual's religious affiliation have no place in decisions to nominate or confirm a judicial appointee." As the Rude Pundit said yesterday, it's kinda fuckin' scary how rational the normally nutzoid are appearing in this case.

But let's also be clear: if Harriet Miers came out today and said, "If I'm placed on the Supreme Court, I will personally piss on the original Roe v. Wade documents so that the ink is erased from existence," the Concerned Women for America and the Family Research Council would be holding celebratory orgies at the local Embassy Suites in support of the nominee.

The worst, most gut-wrenching part of all of this is that, if Miers makes it to hearings, we face the very real possibility of Miers being questioned by Senators about her religious beliefs. Here's what this evangelical Christian will be faced with: the ultimate chance to try to convert a Democrat or two or shutting the fuck up and hoping she can hide her twitchy desire to witness. Bring the Good News to the Senate chamber or deny Christ. Actually, maybe that'd be a blast to see, especially if Miers falls to the floor of the hearing room, convulsing and speaking in tongues as Sam Brownback and Orrin Hatch compete to see who masturbate most furiously at the sight (the safe money's on Brownback) while Tom Coburn cries like a little bitch at the beauty of it all.

Sidenote: If you really wanna vomit up yer cornflakes, check out Matthew Scully's love letter to Harriet Miers in the New York Times today. After chiding conservatives for degrading Miers, Scully lays out how Miers is the ultimate proofreader: "If one speech declared X 'our most urgent domestic priority,' and another speech seven months earlier had said it was Y, it would be Harriet Miers alone who noted the contradiction." Jim-fuckin'-dandy that Miers acted like a good secretary - way to avoid the whole "sexism" charge. Scully also says that Miers gets to work early. And she'd be good for the Court because she'll make sure the sentences are punctuated correctly or some such shit. And, in a bone to secularists, Scully calls Miers "a gracious Christian woman."

There you have it: the best a friend of Miers can offer is that she's a Christian who's read Strunk and White and knows how to work an alarm clock.