Pimps Up, Ho's Down:
Let's say, and, really, why not, there's a pimp - let's give him a pimpilicious name like "The Delicious W" - and this pimp is big time. He's got himself a passel of whores who like nothing better than making The DW happy - and there's a couple of ways to keep the DW happy: bringin' down the benjamins and suckin' the DW's dick. It's really an either/or proposition - if the benjamins are runnin' dry, then you better break out the knee pads and the chapstick. But the DW, he's not stupid. He knows that he's got to make his ho's think they can make up their own minds, so the DW declares that his bitches can make some decisions for themselves: they can turn down tricks with 400 pound cripples who have to rest their guts on the whore's head while getting head, they can choose the hours that they work (within reason), they can take the rest of the night off after some john gets off givin' them a bruised cooz and a black eye, they can pick out clothes on their own. Basic shit that makes the DW's bitches think they're all independent, when, really, all the other hookers in the city know that the DW's bitches may pretend they're free, in the end, they are who they are: the DW's bitches.

And so it is that today, appropriately, in a secret location, with few witnesses, cowering in shadows, limited "sovereignty" was transferred to the Iraqi "government." The official reason for doing the "transfer" two days early was to thwart "terrorists" who might try to disrupt a larger ceremony. And what a sovereignty it is. CNN was the only one of the three cable news networks (a term that loosely applies to Fox) that had the nuts to run in its annoying bottom scroll that the Iraqi interim government is barred from making any "long-term" plans, nor does it have control over the 140,000 U.S. troops there. Add to that the raft of new laws that Paul Bremer imposed on the new "government" just before handing over the keys to the armor-lined Hummer, the near-complete reliance on the U.S. for cash, baby, and no control over the American contractors who run virtually all the reconstruction projects, and you've got yourself quite the dancing marionettes over there.

If there was any sign about the impotence of this government, this weekend interim Prime Minister Allawi said that it was possible that elections, "scheduled" for January, may be postponed due to continuing violence, at least for a couple of months. The U.S. quickly put the smackdown on Allawi, and now he's toeing that January line, which seems about as firm, as, say, June 30 for the handover. And it's so cute when Allwai says his Iraqistone Cops are gonna provide security.

But, hey, once martial law is imposed, what does it matter to the citizens of Iraq who their pimp is, be it Saddam, Bush, Bremer, or Allawi? As long as Iraq can be paraded around like a painted whore of democratic possibility, what does it matter that behind the make-up and sexual promise is a real, sad, overwhelmed, abused person?