Some Fucked Up Things To Remember on Memorial Day Weekend:
While you're suckin' on those bun-squeezed weiners, standing around the barbecue, acting like, really, you are honoring the men and women who died for causes good and causes useless, here's a couple of quick items to keep in mind about this great and glorious sea-to-shining sea of ours.

1. It's fucked up that more people will get upset that the voting for American Idol might have been queered by the use of technology that jams up the phone lines and blocks others from voting than will get upset that we're going into a presidential election where up to one-third of the votes for the fucking president will have no verifiable trail beyond the gizmos and widgets of the electronic voting machines.

2. It's fucked up that more people will listen to and debate what a rich celebrity says in criticizing members of his race than will debate the content of what the previous Vice-President had to say about the crises of democracy facing this country.

3. Ann Coulter is still a cunt.

4. Go have a weekend, sweet middle class readers. Work hard, working class readers who make sure the middle class readers have a good weekend. Ignore the batshit insane rantings of John Ashcroft, who violated administration rules by announcing that we should all be "vigilant" because of "heightened" concerns about terrorism, and he was nearly immediately bitch-slapped back to Missouri by Tom "Hey, Where Is My Fucking Neck?" Ridge. See, seems we established dat 'ol Department of Homeland Security so they could try to scare the bejeesus out of us, not the visage of John Ashcroft, who makes Cotton Mather look like a naked, keg-drinking party animal at the DeKE house.

Suck them weenies for the troops. Gnash that corn for America and Jesus. It's summertime, not really, but still, get out that kiddie pool, you know the one, the one that says, "God Bless the USA" on the bottom, and soak in that fucker like you believe it.

Back Monday.