Boards of Education vs. Bush:
Do Bush's speechwriters have a bullshit detector? Do you think the proofreaders who spell things out fo-net-ick-ly for the President do a double take when they read certain phrases? 'Cause, you know, here's Bush, talking in Topeka in honor of the 50th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, Kansas: "[W]e honor those who expose our failures, correct our course, and make us a better people." Ya gotta be fuckin' kidding, right, you must be thinking. But then you would have a sense of self-awareness or a delicious sense of irony. Kerry, realizing that it's an election year and not having the convenience of the White House picking up the tab for his trip, used the opportunity to criticize Bush's education "policies". The ever-vigilant Bush/Satan spokesman Steve Schmidt accused Kerry of playing politics.

Meanwhile, across the country, states and localities are rebelling against Bush's "policies," saying they are so much politics that have little to do with "education" in the real world.
-- Up in Wisconsin, the Attorney General of that state said, in essence, "You know how you forced all that crap about test scores and accountability and everything on us but didn't provide any money? Well, take your education 'policies' and shove 'em up yer private-school learnin' ass." 'Cause he determined that, unless the Bushkoviks dish out the cash, Wisconsin doesn't have to abide by the stupidly named "No Child Left Behind" act.
-- Over in Western Pennsylvania, superintendents of 171 county school districts are going to sign a petition asking for changes to the act. This makes over 300 superintendents in that state who have asked for changes to the act, calling it unfair to special needs and minority students.
-- In Chicago, there's only 457 spaces for the 200,000 students eligible to transfer from NCLB-designated "failing" schools. Sure, they're getting funding for the Internet from the feds, but not for more classroom space.
-- In Nevada, superintendents and educators are feeling a "defeatist" attitude toward the law. The law's insistence on 100% of students must show improvement is not unlike, say, enacting a law that says children must finish their fuckin' vegetables or there ain't gonna be any goddamn dessert.
-- And, for shits and giggles, here's the Chair of the Kansas State Board of Education: "We know that in order to fulfill No Child Left Behind, we need money to do it. The federal government is not funding it, and in order to meet requirements, we need more money."
-- This is not to mention dissatisfaction and contempt for NCLB in Indiana, North Carolina, Washington, Kentucky, and on and on. Are we sea to shining sea yet? How about this article from the Washington Times, titled, "In Southeast D.C., It's Every Child Left Behind."

Man, No Child Left Behind has lofty goals: the federal government sets 20 or so standards schools must meet, including that previously mentioned 100% student achievement - achivement that is not mitigated by any factors, including disability or viciously underfunded school district.

In essence NCLB treats parents as consumers and schools, teachers, and students as employees in an education sweatshop. Sure, dribs and drabs of money are sent to the states, as Education Secretary Rod Paige will scream at anyone who will listen to his lying ass. As overseers of the sweatshop, the Bushkoviks make sure that they keep close watch on the students through yearly testing. And the misnamed "Adequate Yearly Progress" for the 100% goal. ("Why 100 percent?" asks the Powerpoint presentation at the Department of Education website. Why the answer is self-evident: "Anything less means children will be left behind.")

Again, it's all noble and shit. But it requires a massive infusion of funds. Why do you think Ted Kennedy was so pissed after he negotiated with Bush on this? Bush calling himself the "education president" is like a pimp calling himself the "AIDS prevention pimp" without giving out condoms to his bitches. 'Cause, you know, it's kinda hard to learn when the textbooks suck, there's no toilet paper, and the roof is leaking. Pussy liberal sentiment? Tax and spend bullshit? Then send the kids copies of the over 1000 pages of regulations for NCLB to wipe their asses with.