Budget Problems Causing Your State to Collapse? Look! A Gay Squirrel!

Kansas Governor, and a sexual position just waiting to be defined, Sam Brownback has decided that the best way to distract everyone from the fiscal fisting of his economic policies is to remind everyone that queers are icky and no one should be forced to work in the same building with them. Brownback (definition: fucking in a bed after a diarrhea accident there) issued an executive order that rescinded protections for LGBT state employees, and he did it in the pussiest way possible: not by outright saying, "Man, fuck those fags," but by saying who is protected and excluding the Kansans who are friends or lovers of Dorothy.

To go further with his wimpy stab at equal rights, Brownback (definition: two partners take a bunch of Ex-Lax and then use a double-sided dildo to go ass-to-ass) claimed that the former governor, Kathleen Sebelius, was wrong in using an executive order to expand job protections. So, in his statement on his order, he said, "Any such expansion of ‘protected classes’ should be done by the legislature and not through unilateral action." That's some courageous ass-covering there.

So if you're trans and work for the glamorous Kansas State Child Death Board, for instance, you can be fired if your supervisor thinks you wear those earrings better than her. And there's nothing you can do about it because you're not protected.

It's so appalling that even some Republicans have a problem with the decision by Brownback (definition: when you're fucking in a field and roll into cow shit, but you don't stop fucking). Said one GOP legislator, "No one should be made to feel ashamed of who they are and I don’t think anyone should ever lose their job for being gay." Yeah, well, whatcha gonna do about it? Legislate? Someone's gonna be primaried.

Just to be clear: Kansas is so broke because of the tax cuts passed by the governor and his radicals in the legislature a couple of years ago that, in this fiscal year, $28 million will be taken away from public schools, starting on March 7. But it's more important right now to allow homophobes to treat people unfairly and possibly upend a bunch of lives. Man, some people have Jesus shoved so far up their asses that they can feel his crown of thorns on their uvulas.

Maybe a Brownback is actually when the state of Kansas just takes unending dumps on you.