Family Research Council: Pray for Straight Scouts and Against Passage of the Violence Against Women Act:
Hallelujah and glory, we members of the Super Duper Prayer Team have received a missive from the ether. It's our weekly prayer targets from the Family Research Council (motto: "Gay Boy Scouts Make Jesus Sweaty"). The Rude Pundit joined the SDPT some years ago under a nom de rude and every Wednesday he has delivered unto his inbox his orders for autoerotic prayphyxiation. Usually it's some variation of hate gays/abortion or hate abortion/gays. And this week's email doesn't disappoint.
Yeah, we gotta fall down on our knees and pray that the Boy Scouts of America doesn't give in to the evil world and start allowing them nasty gays from putting on crotch hugging shorts and hanging around the noble straights. Says the FRC, "The Scout crisis is just one battle in the all out spiritual war for our culture. Either biblical righteousness and common sense or moral insanity will prevail." Moral insanity, motherfuckers, in the midst of a spiritual war. Break out your angelic Bushmasters and kill some demons because we don't want gay men to lead our dens of young boys and adolescents because they can't control their desires for a piece of Webelos ass. You can watch CNN's Soledad O'Brien spank FRC President Tony Perkins over this.
You know one thing that's bugged the fuck out of the Rude Pundit all this time about the whole gay or not gay scouts issue? The fact that the anti-gay side also has a problem with lesbian den leaders. Because if your logic is that gay men can't do it because they might lust for the boys, what's your argument against lesbians, like Jennifer Tyrell? You prefer straight women who love the cock hanging out with the high school-aged Eagle Scouts? Or do you think they can control their urges more than gay men? And if you think about these things and try to create justification for an obviously hypocritical position, what a sad little life you lead.
Anyways, back to the praying. Here's what the SDPT is supposed to do when we kneel into action: "Pray for a clean, national decision in support of moral purity. May God use this conflict to advance righteousness and restrain evil! May parents arise to teach and protect their sons and may America see a God-sent youth revival!" And, as is the way of the prayer targeting, we are given bible verses to offer us guidance in each specific task, like this from First Corinthians 14:8: "For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?" Which obviously has a great deal to do with queering the Boy Scouts.
The prayer target email ends with a call on another subject. "Finally, please pray over the Senate vote (likely Friday) on the Violence against Women Act (VAWA)," which makes you think, "Oh, well, obviously Christians would care about making sure that abused women have access to the legal, medical, and other services they need." And then you read the next sentences. "Experts say the bill is a liberal public relations campaign, loaded with measures that conservatives could never vote for, so that liberals can carry on their charge that conservatives are conducting a 'war against women.' Moreover, while the bill does little to prevent violence against women, it will load up the coffers of feminist activist groups." That last thing is pretty much taken verbatim from Phyllis Schlafly's column titled, "Yeah, Sadly Phyllis Schlafly Really Is Still Alive." Apparently, opposition to the VAWA has acted like defibrillator paddles to her stone cold heart. She writes, "It's no surprise that VAWA is often referred to as the hate-men law," probably by Schlafly and her Eagle Forum but, no, not really by anyone who matters.
The FRC and others on the right oppose the VAWA because it says that gays and lesbians are people, too, deserving of the same protections as straights. It also says that illegal immigrants happen to be human, which is ridiculous because we all know that life begins with a green card. Don't even get them started on Indians.
In other words, the VAWA's reauthorization acknowledges that the nation has changed. Groups like the FRC and Neanderthals like Schlafly keep asserting that America needs to go back to what it was, with its closets and hidden people and unspoken agendas, even when what's at stake is not just who gets to participate in the pinewood derby, but bodies and lives.