Kyl and DeMint: Baby Jesus Doesn't Want Us to Pass the START Treaty Right Now:
"Ye shall know them by their fruits," motherfucker, says Jesus. And, goddamn, if that Middle Eastern Jew wasn't right in Matthew 7:16. In fact, a good bit of Book 7 of Matthew (King James, man, always King James) ought to be read to the alleged righteous Christians, Senators Jon "Looks Like W.C. Fields and Broderick Crawford Had a Big, Ugly Baby" Kyl and Jim "I Whip My Balls Bloody Every Night" DeMint. Whining like little bitches who were denied their evening Milk Bone, Kyl and DeMint announced that they want their Christmas vacation and they don't give a fuck about any damn reduction of weapons of mass destruction. That's right: no START treaty, no consideration of real and actual peace on Earth unless they get to sing songs about "Peace on Earth."

Said Kyl, Harry Reid is "disrespecting one of the two holiest of holidays for Christians and the families of all of the Senate, not just the senators themselves but all of the staff." Said DeMint, "It’s sacrilegious and disrespectful...This is the most sacred holiday for Christians. They did the same thing last year - they kept everybody here until [Christmas Eve] to force something down everybody's throat. I think Americans are sick of this." In a Waffle House outside Charleston, South Carolina, a 60 year-old waitress, who just got the early shift on the 25th because she was working the late shift at Wal-Mart on the 24th, heard this on the radio and died a little more inside.

So, hey, yeah, these cockmongers talk the Jeebus-lovin' talk so that they can head home and play Wii tennis with the grandkids and drink egg nog next to the banquet nativity. But let's see if they walk the walk, no? Let's check out some of their fruits:

Now, the Rude Pundit's no biblical scholar, but he knows some basic shit. For instance, Jesus was pretty clear on helping people in poverty. Like, you know, 1 John 3:17-18: "But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?/ My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth." Yeah, DeMint and Kyl have clenched their sphincters tight and haven't shit out even a tiny turd of compassion for the poor.

Kyl and DeMint have both voted against expanding the Children's Health Insurance Program, against increasing the minimum wage, against funding for housing for the poor, and for raising the estate tax exemption to $5 million. DeMint gets extra points for voting against extending unemployment benefits in 2008.

Of course, they've both voted big time for anything to do with war, because killing Muslims is really high on Jesus's to-do list. As is torture, apparently, and denial of any help for illegal immigrants, who would probably qualify as the "least of these."

It's always a shame when someone uses the kids as an excuse for something the grown-ups just don't want to do. You know, you've heard, "Oh, sorry, can't go out to the bar tonight because something came up with my kids." DeMint and Kyl have raised that a notch and said, "Sorry, we can't pass your precious peace treaty because the Baby Jesus needs us at the manger." They're like Wise Men or Kings, these guys.

Of course, since all of this is over passing a treaty that would actively make the world safer from nuclear weapons, one imagines that even Baby Jesus would say, "Dudes, shove that myrrh up your asses and get back to work."

(Note: Harry Reid showing Kyl and DeMint his pimp hand on the whole stupid Christmas thing is deliciously fun. And so is Joe Biden's spit-rage.)