In Brief: Catholic Molestation and Republican Tantrums: Two Rude What-If's:
1. What if investigation after investigation discovered that the Muslim church had engaged in a decades-long cover-up of massive criminal activity involving the molestation and raping of children? What if it involved countless Muslim religious leaders, imams, and others? What if one of the highest Sunni leaders in the world was complicit in hiding sex crimes committed against deaf kids? Do you think for a moment that the outrage would not be so massive as to force mosques to close and for schools to go bankrupt? Many, many people would be justifiably jailed. There would be congressional investigations. Republicans would be calling for any faith-based funds to be banned from going to Muslim organizations because, indeed, some of the money may have been indirectly used to pay off victims and to shuffle the perpetrators from city to city. Hell, there would be death threats, vandalism, if not outright violence, against mosques and people. Yes, Islam in America, if not in the West entirely, would be assaulted from all corners.

Of course, because it's the Catholic Church, despite whatever revulsion there is against those who committed the assaults and those who engaged in racketeering by conspiring to hide it from authorities, we are supposed to accept that it's simply the actions of the few and not the infection of the entire faith. Even if it is.

2. What if it was Senate Democrats who, back when Republicans were rubber-stamping every desire of the Bush administration, had slowed down the passage of, say, the Bush tax cuts with huge numbers of useless amendments? What if Democrats had refused to allow committee meetings that had nothing to do with tax policy to occur? What if they threatened to filibuster or put a hold on every nominee of the Bush administration in retaliation? Republicans wouldn't merely have called them "obstructionists" or "the party of 'No'." That's pansy shit. Republicans would have called Democrats "traitors" who care more about pleasing their base than in advancing the cause of liberty or some such shit. Every subcommittee meeting on the military that was postponed would have been portrayed as further demonstration of how much Democrats hate the troops. Every judge not given a vote would have been further proof of how liberals want to jam their radical agenda down the throats of good-hearted, god-lovin' Americans.

But, instead, it's Republicans throwing up the roadblocks like a purse snatcher knocking over trash cans as he's chased by the cops. And, of course, the near milquetoast response of Democrats has been all about rolling their eyes and plodding forward without savagely condemning Republicans for their sour grapes hissy fit.

Correction: Earlier this week, the Rude Pundit erroneously called the Iwo Jima flag-raising photograph "staged." However, as several rude readers pointed out, the photographer says it was not, and all evidence points to that being the case. Either way, Glenn Beck is still a motherfucker.