Does Conservative Spoogebucket Kevin McCullough Actually Know Any Black People?:
Pity poor Kevin McCullough. McCullough is an alleged columnist (although can anyone come up with a newspaper that carries him? A Penny Saver? Windshield flyer?), the co-host with a vestigial Baldwin of a weekly satellite radio show, a Fox "news" semi-regular, and a man whose vicious words and hate speech reveal a never-satiated urge for cock, so many cocks spewing so much jizz on him that you could stick him to a giant envelope and mail him to Fire Island on the Fourth of July. Truly, this man needs some cock.

McCullough is the sweaty, skinny, balding white guy in movies who thinks that all these people not like him are fucking up the neighborhood, Bernhard Goetz with a blog instead of a gun. He has never shied away from using racist language to attack Barack Obama. In his latest column (if by "column," you mean, "a mad pining for double anal penetration while ball-gagged with chained nipple clamps"), McCullough may as well be putting on blackface and saying of Obama, "That crazy nigga's gonna cap yo cracker ass."

Titled (really) "Hope and Change, Gangsta Style," McCullough's column purports to reveal how the Obama administration is using thuggish Chicago-style politics to get its failure of an agenda accomplished. If that makes absolutely no sense, then you're paying attention. The column ends with this remark about Obama not being able to deal with being President: "Unfortunately when someone from Chicago's south side gets that emotionally backed up it usually ends with flying bullets and someone's brother lying dead in a pool of their own blood." Yes, around Hyde Park, it's always "Contract killa, murder for the scrilla." You know, McCullough could have gone with the safe Al Capone reference instead of black-on-black violence, but, hell, you can't be a motherfucker if you don't fuck some mothers.

This comes after McCullough repeats the lie about Obama threatening to close a strategically-necessary airbase in Nebraska in order to get Ben Nelson's vote on health care reform, spouting in outrage, "President Obama was going to put a bullet in the operations of our national security simply to score a point, serve a little vengeance, and punish with a little payback." And then he instantly discredits himself by adding, "We know this from a memo that was leaked." Well, actually, the original liar said he got the info from a Senate aide, not a memo. Besides, everyone involved has denied the story except The Weekly Standard writer who created it (or was punked).

That's just generic fucktardery. However, "racist" is McCullough's default position with Obama (and all black people). He goes there constantly. In a recent blog post, he wrote, "Part of the great thing about the equality of every man, woman, and child in America is the opportunity to succeed or to fail. And to do so irrespective of race. Finally we have the African American equivalent of Jimmuh Cahteh in the oval office, and it is a scary day indeed..." Parse that shit. And that's on top of last week's column comparing Tiger Woods and Barack Obama, who would seemingly only have one thing in common. Goddamn that animal nature of the half-breed Negro.

At night, when he's all alone, his crusted picture of Mike Huckabee safely stored away, Kevin McCullough sits back and dreams, dreams, dreams away, thinking about the sensations of being the rocking horse moving back and forth with Obama behind him and Tiger ahead.