Photos That Make Christian Conservative Brains Short Out:
Yes, the photo, of Barack Obama becoming the first American president to publicly celebrate the Hindu holiday of Diwali, is about a week old, but the reaction to it from the nutzoid right wing is as steamy fresh as a new cow pie in a Vermont meadow on an October morning.
Yesterday, the Rude Pundit received his weekly prayer job orders from the Family Research Council's Super-Duper Prayer Team. The Rude Pundit signed up for the Super-Duper Prayer Team under a nom de rude, and every Wednesday, he gets a list o' crap what needs the prayin'. This week, amidst a whole buncha prayers about stopping the homosexuals from making America friendly to, you know, homosexuals, there was this shocking news from the aptly-named Newsweek: "As the ethereal sounds of a Hindu priest's chanting of this Sanskrit prayer from ancient Hindu scripture filled the East Room, President Obama lit the ceremonial White House diya --and he used this Sanskrit word for lamp ... Never before had a sitting U.S. President personally celebrated the Diwali holiday..."
Aw, motherfuck. And here we thought he was Muslim. This is gonna require some prayer. And here's what the Super-Duper Prayer Team was told to intone to the right god: "May God open the eyes of our President and the American people to understand the cost of diminishing the God of our Fathers and our nation's Christian heritage, while honoring foreign gods and promoting other religions and rituals. May God protect us from confusion to come if our leaders begin to promote a pantheon of gods."
Now, you might think, "Umm, wasn't Jesus from, like, the Middle East? Doesn't that make him, like, a 'foreign god'?" Sorry, there, gal or dude with your little thinkin' head. "God" is an American God, motherfuckers, and he is Christian, whether he likes it or not.
As usual with our prayerturbation orders, we're given a bunch of bible verses to inspire us. Here, among the usual Ten Commandments and shit, we get 1 Kings 2-11. That describes how King Solomon was led astray from Big American God by several of his women. See, the very verses mentioned tell us, he had 700 wives and 300 concubines. How the hell are we supposed to get past that to even think about praying?
For other fun, there's also this snark from the Washington Times: "America's minority religions certainly are getting a nice reception at the White House these days." And plenty of blogs and forums lost their shit over the lighting of a lamp.
This is not an endorsement of such things. Indeed, there should be no public ceremonies of any faith at the White House. But it's always a wonder what sets off the right, from the smallest gestures. You know who liked it? India. You know who organized it? Kal Penn. Goddamn, is there nothing Kumar can't do?