Sarah Palin Graces James Dobson with an Exquisite Hummer:
How it must have surprised Dr. James Dobson, the founder and chair of Focus on the Family (motto: "Thirty Years of Making You Feel Guilty For Masturbating"), when Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin reached over during a radio interview yesterday and unzipped his pants. Oh, sweet mercies, yes, dick-sucking lips are a gift from God, but those lascivious eyes, like the Levite's concubine, just begging for it, that's pure temptation.

The good Doctor found himself awkwardly unable to become fully erect early in the interview. Then Palin started praising Dobson, saying, "Dr. Dobson, you have been just on the forefront of all of this, of all of this good for so many years. And your reward is going to be in Heaven because I know that you take a lot of shots also but please know that on our end, kind of outsiders looking in at what you have accomplished all these years, if it were not for you, so many of us would be missing the boat in terms of hearing the message and understanding what we can do to further the cause of life, and of ethics in our nation, those things that we should be engaged in. We owe so much to you." At that point, Dobson could have pounded nails in a cross with his rigid dick.

Dobson was logical about it: who is not to say that Palin's willing mouth was not a present from Jesus for the years of good works? Who are we to question the ways of God? Palin had already described herself as "hardcore" and explained how "I had to really be on my knees." Sure, she was talking about her extreme pro-life beliefs and the difficult pregnancy of Trig. But the implication was clear. And when the Lord presents one with such a reward, one has no right to turn it away.

Cock lubed with the Alaska governor's saliva, and you can hear this in the interview, Dobson leaned back and stumbled for words. Palin, though, between yanks and sucks, was unstoppable in her praise for Dobson's staying power: "This is a strong platform...You would maybe have assumed that we would have gotten further away from those strong planks. But no, they're there, they're solid."

Dobson couldn't help himself. He had to know how he compared to John McCain, if the war-injured Republican nominee's prick could stand as firm as he had. Palin, ever the politician, simply offered, "John McCain is solidly there" before pushing her hair aside and taking off her glasses in order to bring Dr. Dobson to climax. She sensed Dobson being tentative, his cock muscle slackening ever so slightly. Don't worry, she assured him, "I know John McCain has been in underdog positions...I’m just fine with the position that we are in today."

He felt a brief pain in his scrotum, and he knew it was time. He smacked his hand on the table as he dribbled out a modicum of prune-flavored semen, which, of course, Palin swallowed like a host from the Pope. Dobson offered to at least finger fuck her, with no obligation: "I know that this is an extremely stressful time for you and we’re not asking you to come now."

Palin declined. But they did both say they hoped "God's wisdom" and "God's perfect will" would prevail on election day. And if it doesn't? If satanic, Muslim, godless, socialist, beast-marked, Cain-descended Obama wins? Well, at least God's work had been done during the interview.