A World of Niggers: Bush at the U.N.:
While they were watching George W. Bush speak today at the United Nations, the leaders of the other nations there must have been prepared for anything. Would he throw his own shit at them? Would he scratch his balls through the entire speech? Would he drag out an Iranian child, hold a gun to her head, and threaten to blow her brains all over Kofi Annan if he didn't get himself some motherfuckin' sanctions? Certainly any of that would have been less insulting than the patronizing, sanctimonious, self-righteous, smug call-outs to many of the nations represented. In essence, what Bush did today was to say that the world is full of nations of niggers and the United States is the great white massa who knows best what those darkies need.
Here's just part of Bush's "personal" address to different countries: "To the people of Iraq...The world saw you hold up purple-ink-stained fingers. And your courage filled us with admiration" and "To the people of Afghanistan...we have watched you choose your leaders in free elections and build a democratic government. You can be proud of these achievements" and "To the people of Lebanon...We see your suffering and the world is helping you to rebuild your country and helping you deal with the armed extremists who are undermining your democracy by acting as a state within a state" and "To the people of Iran, the United States respects you."
This, of course, is not to mention his shout-outs to the peoples of Syria, the strange "Today, your rulers have allowed your country to become a crossroad for terrorism," which is fine and dandy except when we send prisoners to be tortured there; and the people of Darfur, "you have suffered unspeakable violence." Somewhere in the Sudan, a woman who is burying pieces of her husband while her children starve around her is just so goddamned grateful.
And why shouldn't she be grateful? Why shouldn't a man in a bombed to splinters and pebbles house in Beirut just be so fuckin' happy? Why shouldn't the women of Afghanistan be dandy-ass thrilled while not going to school and getting beaten and raped? And, shit, it takes a long time to wash away the purple finger of freedom. Yep, lookie, here, world, George Bush says that good times are a-comin' if you just believe in him. Toss aside your centuries of hatred, violence, oppression, and mistrust of the West, sweet niggers of the Mideast and Africa. The stumblefuck white guy with his crazy ass nation-building military has said paradise is around the corner.
Do you think the delgates at the U.N. just shook their heads when Bush unironically said, "Freedom, by its nature, cannot be imposed"? Or do you think many of their heads were filled with the story of Maher Arar, the Canadian man captured by U.S. authorities, denied any charging or trial, and renditioned to Syria for a year of torture before being set free, and now finally exonerated from any terrorist ties by a Canadian court? Do you think they stared at Bush and thought, "He may treat us like niggers, but we know who the scared little bitch is"?
9/19/2006
9/18/2006
Stupid Metaphor Tricks: Of Gay Bars and Politicians:
When dealing with issues that call into question our moral and ethical standing as a nation, like the insane debate over whether or not we should legalize torture, it's always easier to comprehend where everyone stands if you put it in terms of different types of gay bars. The Rude Pundit's thinking specifically of three dens o' male queerism that used to be (and still might be) in New Orleans.
There was the festive queer nightclub, the one that still maintained that Studio 54 vibe. Located in the French Quarter, it was an open, welcoming, sparkling place where all comers, straight and gay, could enter and dance the night away with balloons, confetti, cherry-scented smoke, bubbles, whatever, pouring down from the endlessly resourceful ceiling crew there. You could look around and see feather queens consorting with tranvestites chatting up spiky-haired preppy guys making out with biker dudes fondling military men licking the chests of Chippendale-lookin' studs in thongs. The music was hip and loud, with video screens blazing the latest celebrity sex tape or a Judy Garland film. And when Liza Minnelli was played, a row of drag queens would get up on the bar and form a kick line. Truly, it was a space of respect and love and lust and gettin' yer ya-yas out with no judgment, from the fattest drag queen to closeted Saints football players to the biggest hung chaps-wearin' cowboy.
If you left the festive club and headed down Royal or Bourbon, close to Esplanade, there was the gay leather bar. You walked in there without some kind of bondage gear or weapon of mass ejaculation and you were either gonna get tossed out or picked on like the leanest meat at the cell block. The place was a Tom of Finland dreamscape or nightmare (depending on your view of Touko's work). Yeah, you could look around and think all present were a little too into the Village People costumes, except that they weren't kitsch, man. You meet a guy in a cop uniform, that cocksucker was gonna invite you to get handcuffed to the wall while he shoves his baton up your asshole. The dance floor was far more punk than disco, with lots more sweaty shovin' and ass smackin' and faux fistin'. In the back were BDSM rooms available for hourly rental. The multi-pierced dudes with spiked collars and wristbands who held their bitch boys by leashes attached to cock rings were living a life man, moreso than all but the most committed drag queens, but, fuck, it was all about power, who has it and who submits to it. They may have scared you, but you knew they walked the walk.
Still, only one gay bar in New Orleans was truly a frightening place, so horrifying that all of the feather and leather homosexuals avoided it. It was a nondescript little wooden joint on the edge of the Bywater. Inside, it was badly-lit, stinking of pissed-out beer and cigarette smoke, a few tables, seats at the bar. The men there were alcoholic and burnt-out middle-aged queers, who seemed to gather here because they didn't belong anywhere else. You looked around and you thought there must be a pit in back of the place where they kept adolescent boys they kidnapped for regular sodomizing. The Rude Pundit went there one time, with a friend, Sammy, who was seeking his boyfriend who just got out of the Marines. We got Dixie beers and headed to the one pool table to shoot a game just to check out the joint.
Like the undead in an Italian zombie movie, the men got out of their chairs and all - no, really, all - gathered around the pool table to watch us play. They did so silently, no comments on a good shot or a bad one. Just fondling their longnecks and staring at us. A few grabbed pool cues and started bouncing the rubber bumpers on the floor. When we finished the game, one of the guys, a skeevy fucker with a moustache and sideburns, asked us if we wanted to play. As cool as possible, we begged off and headed out the door with the zombies following us until we hit evening air. Sammy couldn't stop nervously joking about getting fucked with pool sticks because the dudes couldn't get it up. The Rude Pundit, who had heard what he thought were just rumors about college students gang raped there, just wanted some weed.
Those guys didn't know what to do with their unslaked libidos, sick of sucking each other's demi-flaccid dicks off in the disgusting men's room, wanting fresh meat to punish for their own inability to deal with who they were. The eeriest people are always the ones who seem normal on the outside, who have lived apparently quiet and eventless lives. There would be no safe word with them, no line they would not cross, no flesh they would not eat, no skull they would not fuck.
Much like the Bush administration (and its lackeys in and out of government) and its increasingly desperate attempt to do an end run around the Geneva Conventions and allow for torture, trials with secret evidence, renditioning, and more. National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley told Wolf Blitzer on CNN yesterday, regarding the Geneva Conventions' prohibition on "humilating treatment and outrages upon human dignity," that "nobody knows what humiliating treatment is. What does it mean?" The Bush administration is standing around the pool table, bouncing its cues, hopin' for that right moment when the players are bent over taking a shot to shove that tip home.
(Oh, the rest of the metaphor: what the hell - let's say that liberals and many Democrats are at the dance club, and some Republicans and conservatives like McCain and Graham are attending the leather bar. Although the thought of Arlen Specter wearing a suede vest and a nut cozy just makes the blood chill.)
9/15/2006
Bush Is Gonna Take His Iron Maiden and Go Home:
Here's how you know you've lost your war: Chair of the House Homeland Security Committee Peter King said this about detainee treatment legislation: "If we capture bin Laden tomorrow and we have to hold his head under water to find out when the next attack is going to happen, we ought to be able to do it." Let's put it this way: it's one thing to say that in a one-in-a-million Jack Bauer-esque situation, you'd probably break the law and a few fingers to get the info you need so the nuke doesn't go off. But it's another thing entirely to say that you wanna make it the law. King and the other right-wing Bush ball-lickers can't get enough of that presidential scrotum in their mouths.
We're in the midst of one of the most degrading debates in the history of the nation. Our goddamned President just spent the better part of an hour in a press conference today whining like a little bitch in the rain about losing his favorite squeaky toy: "If Congress passes a law that does not clarify the rules -- if they do not do that, the program's not going forward." That program, of course, would be the CIA interrogations of detainees and the trial of said detainees on secret evidence. Or one could say, "That shit that the Bush administration wants to do that makes us the moral equals of Torquemada or the Jacobins."
See, Bush kept calling the "interrogators," who in another time would have been called "torturers," kind names, like "professionals" and "decent citizens" who don't want to break the law. It's like trying to convince your wife to make it an open marriage so you can fuck your secretary without the guilt. In other words, Bush wants to ensure that the torturers and the torturer enablers (like, say, himself) are covered when that bad ol' world gets its Nuremberg-ish dander up.
Once again, Bush insisted on his own blind stupidity as a reason to give him anything he wants regarding the Geneva Conventions: "Common Article 3 says that, you know, There will be no outrages upon human dignity. It's like -- it's very vague. What does that mean, outrages upon human dignity? That's a statement that is wide open to interpretation." That's why Bush feels he can do whatever the fuck he wants no matter what his oath of office says. That whole "I will...to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States" lacks clarity.
The most frightening aspect of the press conference was not the sight of the ostensible leader of the "free" world screeching and jabbing like a chicken that got into the meth stash. No, it was Bush's insistence that captured American soldiers are just a "hypothetical." Pressed by David Gregory on whether he could abide another country saying it was interpreting the Geneva Conventions however it wanted when it came to treatment of a hypothetical American, Bush simply said that it was okay by him if it was like what he wants: "I am saying that I would hope that they would adopt the same standards we adopt." GI, get ready for your waterboarding.
This is what we've been reduced to as a nation: arguing with each other over how far we can push our notions of "civilized" and still feel good about ourselves. How low can we go? 'Cause, see, once you take one step down on a ladder, the next rung is right there, and the bottom gets ever closer.
Note: Blogger burped earlier - and the Rude Pundit was gone for a couple of hours. As you can see, all is well now in this corner of Left Blogsylvania.
Here's how you know you've lost your war: Chair of the House Homeland Security Committee Peter King said this about detainee treatment legislation: "If we capture bin Laden tomorrow and we have to hold his head under water to find out when the next attack is going to happen, we ought to be able to do it." Let's put it this way: it's one thing to say that in a one-in-a-million Jack Bauer-esque situation, you'd probably break the law and a few fingers to get the info you need so the nuke doesn't go off. But it's another thing entirely to say that you wanna make it the law. King and the other right-wing Bush ball-lickers can't get enough of that presidential scrotum in their mouths.
We're in the midst of one of the most degrading debates in the history of the nation. Our goddamned President just spent the better part of an hour in a press conference today whining like a little bitch in the rain about losing his favorite squeaky toy: "If Congress passes a law that does not clarify the rules -- if they do not do that, the program's not going forward." That program, of course, would be the CIA interrogations of detainees and the trial of said detainees on secret evidence. Or one could say, "That shit that the Bush administration wants to do that makes us the moral equals of Torquemada or the Jacobins."
See, Bush kept calling the "interrogators," who in another time would have been called "torturers," kind names, like "professionals" and "decent citizens" who don't want to break the law. It's like trying to convince your wife to make it an open marriage so you can fuck your secretary without the guilt. In other words, Bush wants to ensure that the torturers and the torturer enablers (like, say, himself) are covered when that bad ol' world gets its Nuremberg-ish dander up.
Once again, Bush insisted on his own blind stupidity as a reason to give him anything he wants regarding the Geneva Conventions: "Common Article 3 says that, you know, There will be no outrages upon human dignity. It's like -- it's very vague. What does that mean, outrages upon human dignity? That's a statement that is wide open to interpretation." That's why Bush feels he can do whatever the fuck he wants no matter what his oath of office says. That whole "I will...to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States" lacks clarity.
The most frightening aspect of the press conference was not the sight of the ostensible leader of the "free" world screeching and jabbing like a chicken that got into the meth stash. No, it was Bush's insistence that captured American soldiers are just a "hypothetical." Pressed by David Gregory on whether he could abide another country saying it was interpreting the Geneva Conventions however it wanted when it came to treatment of a hypothetical American, Bush simply said that it was okay by him if it was like what he wants: "I am saying that I would hope that they would adopt the same standards we adopt." GI, get ready for your waterboarding.
This is what we've been reduced to as a nation: arguing with each other over how far we can push our notions of "civilized" and still feel good about ourselves. How low can we go? 'Cause, see, once you take one step down on a ladder, the next rung is right there, and the bottom gets ever closer.
Note: Blogger burped earlier - and the Rude Pundit was gone for a couple of hours. As you can see, all is well now in this corner of Left Blogsylvania.
Bush's Press Conference: Bring the Rude Pundit a Bucket:
The President of the United States just said that he doesn't care if American soldiers are tortured and then tried, convicted, and executed with secret evidence. This motherfucker just sold out the troops on the ground in favor of covering the asses of those who have tortured prisoners.
Motherfucker is flailing around like he ought to have a fan blowing up his skirt outside a car dealership.
More later, after the horrible retching ends.
The President of the United States just said that he doesn't care if American soldiers are tortured and then tried, convicted, and executed with secret evidence. This motherfucker just sold out the troops on the ground in favor of covering the asses of those who have tortured prisoners.
Motherfucker is flailing around like he ought to have a fan blowing up his skirt outside a car dealership.
More later, after the horrible retching ends.
9/14/2006
Christ Weary of Texas Public School Bible Classes:
So, let's see if the Rude Pundit has this straight: in public schools in Texas, classes about the Bible that are supposed to remain secular actually deviate from the historical and social significance of the Good Book and get into preaching? You might say, "Get the fuck out of here" in shocked, oh, so very shocked response, thinking that surely the open-minded people of the Toothless Creek school district would do such a thing. And you'd be wrong. See, according to a just-released study by the Texas Freedom Network, a progressive religious group, "With a few notable exceptions, the public school courses currently taught in Texas often fail to meet minimal academic standards for teacher qualifications; curriculum, and academic rigor; promote one faith perspective over all others; and push an ideological agenda that is hostile to religious freedom, science and public education." Yep, in Texas untrained teachers use tax dollars to "teach" Christian belief and nutzoid fundamentalist bullshit.
The classes are electives and are offered in 825 districts; the study examines 25 districts, because one can always look at such a sample of what's happening elsewhere. And what fun the students are having. What with being taught by their local clergy, watching Veggie Tale videos, and learning that the Bible is historically accurate and has never been changed. It's like taking a class on magic tricks.
In one school district, a lecture on the Book of Acts was titled "God’s Road to Life." It discussed, among other things, “Jesus Christ is the one and only way” (to where? Denny's? Heaven? Some unholy Grand Slam-like combination of the two?); “As followers of Christ we are commanded to tell the good news;” and, obviously, “The Good News,” which, according to the TFN report, "traces humanity’s predicament of sinfulness requiring punishment, Christ’s payment of the penalty, and the assurance of salvation for those who believe in him." It's sort of like having a sex education class where all you learn about are the many ways your genitals can get scabby.
And, oh, the evil that the courses confront. In Corpus Christi, one class was asked, "Why did Jesus tell the Jewish leaders: 'Surely evil men and prostitutes will get into the Kindom before you do'?" Yep, between learning that Christian belief supplants Jewish belief and that America is a Christian nation, the students should be more than ready to vote in Texas when they hit eighteen. But first they need to be tested.
Here's an awesome test section from one district:
Short Answer. Answer three of the following questions. Use Specific examples.
1. How is the Bible’s honesty a good reason to believe what the Bible says?
2. The miracles of the Bible are considered an argument for its credibility. Name one of the miracles in the Bible.
3. How is the unity of the Bible a good reason to believe it?
4. What does it mean to say that the Bible is endorsed by Christ?
5. Explain how the survival of the Bible makes it believable?
The Rude Pundit's answers:
2. Jesus never takes a holy dump.
4. Well, it's sort of like Wilford Brimley endorsing Quaker Oats. There's a man who needs a clean colon. And if we can learn to shit better because an old character actor shows us how, then we can certainly buy the Bible because one of the characters in it says it's a really good book.
5. Wilford Brimley seems to be surviving an awful long time thanks to Quaker Oats. That makes it believable that oatmeal is a means to an end. So if something stays around long enough, it must be valuable, like herpes or Courtney Love.
Yes, the schoolkids in these classes get taught such useful information like creationism and genetics. In one high school, the students "spent two days watching the video Dinosaurs and the Bible, produced by Creation Science Evangelism (motto: "Fred Flintstone is our hero"). They pondered questions like how it might have been scientifically possible for humans to live for hundreds of years. In Mesquite, a local minister teaching one course presented the idea that “Europeans, Africans and Semitic peoples all descended from the three sons of Noah after the flood, and that each group had its own racial characteristics, such as philosophical thought for Europeans and skill at hunting and conquering for Africans.” The Semites presumably had mad moneylending skills.
Yes, the TFN says, a "few" districts actually taught the Bible as literature or as a cultural artifact. Now that's a leap of faith - to say that high school students could learn something about themselves and the world by being willing to save Sunday school for, say, Sundays.
Correction: An earlier version said that only 3% of Texas public schools offered a Bible studies course. The real number is closer to 85%. Only 3% of those were studied. Thanks to rude reader Chasm for the correction.
So, let's see if the Rude Pundit has this straight: in public schools in Texas, classes about the Bible that are supposed to remain secular actually deviate from the historical and social significance of the Good Book and get into preaching? You might say, "Get the fuck out of here" in shocked, oh, so very shocked response, thinking that surely the open-minded people of the Toothless Creek school district would do such a thing. And you'd be wrong. See, according to a just-released study by the Texas Freedom Network, a progressive religious group, "With a few notable exceptions, the public school courses currently taught in Texas often fail to meet minimal academic standards for teacher qualifications; curriculum, and academic rigor; promote one faith perspective over all others; and push an ideological agenda that is hostile to religious freedom, science and public education." Yep, in Texas untrained teachers use tax dollars to "teach" Christian belief and nutzoid fundamentalist bullshit.
The classes are electives and are offered in 825 districts; the study examines 25 districts, because one can always look at such a sample of what's happening elsewhere. And what fun the students are having. What with being taught by their local clergy, watching Veggie Tale videos, and learning that the Bible is historically accurate and has never been changed. It's like taking a class on magic tricks.
In one school district, a lecture on the Book of Acts was titled "God’s Road to Life." It discussed, among other things, “Jesus Christ is the one and only way” (to where? Denny's? Heaven? Some unholy Grand Slam-like combination of the two?); “As followers of Christ we are commanded to tell the good news;” and, obviously, “The Good News,” which, according to the TFN report, "traces humanity’s predicament of sinfulness requiring punishment, Christ’s payment of the penalty, and the assurance of salvation for those who believe in him." It's sort of like having a sex education class where all you learn about are the many ways your genitals can get scabby.
And, oh, the evil that the courses confront. In Corpus Christi, one class was asked, "Why did Jesus tell the Jewish leaders: 'Surely evil men and prostitutes will get into the Kindom before you do'?" Yep, between learning that Christian belief supplants Jewish belief and that America is a Christian nation, the students should be more than ready to vote in Texas when they hit eighteen. But first they need to be tested.
Here's an awesome test section from one district:
Short Answer. Answer three of the following questions. Use Specific examples.
1. How is the Bible’s honesty a good reason to believe what the Bible says?
2. The miracles of the Bible are considered an argument for its credibility. Name one of the miracles in the Bible.
3. How is the unity of the Bible a good reason to believe it?
4. What does it mean to say that the Bible is endorsed by Christ?
5. Explain how the survival of the Bible makes it believable?
The Rude Pundit's answers:
2. Jesus never takes a holy dump.
4. Well, it's sort of like Wilford Brimley endorsing Quaker Oats. There's a man who needs a clean colon. And if we can learn to shit better because an old character actor shows us how, then we can certainly buy the Bible because one of the characters in it says it's a really good book.
5. Wilford Brimley seems to be surviving an awful long time thanks to Quaker Oats. That makes it believable that oatmeal is a means to an end. So if something stays around long enough, it must be valuable, like herpes or Courtney Love.
Yes, the schoolkids in these classes get taught such useful information like creationism and genetics. In one high school, the students "spent two days watching the video Dinosaurs and the Bible, produced by Creation Science Evangelism (motto: "Fred Flintstone is our hero"). They pondered questions like how it might have been scientifically possible for humans to live for hundreds of years. In Mesquite, a local minister teaching one course presented the idea that “Europeans, Africans and Semitic peoples all descended from the three sons of Noah after the flood, and that each group had its own racial characteristics, such as philosophical thought for Europeans and skill at hunting and conquering for Africans.” The Semites presumably had mad moneylending skills.
Yes, the TFN says, a "few" districts actually taught the Bible as literature or as a cultural artifact. Now that's a leap of faith - to say that high school students could learn something about themselves and the world by being willing to save Sunday school for, say, Sundays.
Correction: An earlier version said that only 3% of Texas public schools offered a Bible studies course. The real number is closer to 85%. Only 3% of those were studied. Thanks to rude reader Chasm for the correction.
9/13/2006
Why Bill O'Reilly Ought To Sodomized With a Microphone in a Frigid Room:
The Rude Pundit thought we were done with the whole "what you pussy liberals call torture is actually just a night at the DKE house" discussion. But last night, on his Fox "News" show, Bill O'Reilly re-propagandized for the myth that any "interrogation method" that doesn't involve a nut vice and a blowtorch is not actually torture. Discussing a New York Times article about the FBI and CIA getting into a pissing match about humane versus "tough" interrogation techniques on Abu Zubaydah, a "henchman" for Osama Bin Laden, O'Reilly glibly, if accurately, described what the CIA did to Zubaydah: "the CIA allegedly stripped Zubaydah who had been wounded by the Pakistani authorities, put him in a freezing room and used Red Hot Chili Peppers on him."
In other words, to quote the Times, "At times, Mr. Zubaydah, still weak from his wounds, was stripped and placed in a cell without a bunk or blankets. He stood or lay on the bare floor, sometimes with air-conditioning adjusted so that, one official said, Mr. Zubaydah seemed to turn blue. At other times, the interrogators piped in deafening blasts of music by groups like the Red Hot Chili Peppers." Whether or not you think Zubaydah "deserved" his treatment (and if you do, you're a vicious pig fucker), at a bare minimum we could agree on the label of "torture." Could we please stop all being such pansies about calling torture "torture"? Or do you just feel better about yourself if you keep a wounded man nude locked in a bare freezing room with loud music blaring if you don't use the word?
But it's not that O'Reilly gleefully dismisses Zubaydah's treatment, with "Now you may think I'm joking here, but I'm not," that renders him in need of a forced ass fucking. No, no. It's that he lies about what's the article actually says is the result of the torture of Zubaydah. Here's O'Reilly: "Blasting the Peppers in a cold room apparently broke Zubaydah according to an unnamed government official quoted in the article. At first Zubaydah was defiant and evasive until the approved procedures were used. He soon began to provide information on key Al Qaeda operators to help us find and capture those responsible for the 9/11 attacks. And one of those men was Khalid Sheikh Muhammad, the mastermind of 9/11."
Now, that'd be awesome and demonstrate some good to be had from torturing suspects. Except, you know, it ain't what the article or the unnamed government official actually said. According to the Times, "In his early interviews, Mr. Zubaydah had revealed what turned out to be important information, identifying Khalid Shaikh Mohammed — from a photo on a hand-held computer — as the chief planner of the Sept. 11 attacks." Those "early interviews" would have been the ones conducted by the FBI where they "bathed Mr. Zubaydah, changed his bandages, gave him water, urged improved medical care, and spoke with him in Arabic and English, languages in which he is fluent." The CIA took over and tortured him because "Zubaydah might have possessed critical information about a coming terrorist operation figured significantly in the decision to employ tougher tactics, even though it later became apparent he had no such knowledge." In other words, Zubaydah was tortured for no reason at all.
Like so many on the right, Bill O'Reilly is a tough guy wannabe, a semi-evolved ape man who so admires the redness of his own hard-on that he's gotta smack that fucker until it explodes, yelping in self-love 'cause he wants everyone to see him come. O'Reilly thinks that as long as we can say we're not as bad as they are, the field's wide open: "The truth is that America has been restrained in its response to the savagery of Al Qaeda and others." So, like, as long as we're not using power drills and videotaped beheadings by knife, it's all good.
Damn, Bill O'Reilly must think it's ridiculous that that bitch ex-producer of his sued him for his graphic harassment by phone. After all, at least he didn't rape her, cut her body into pieces, and feed it to his pet sharks. He exercised such restraint.
The Rude Pundit thought we were done with the whole "what you pussy liberals call torture is actually just a night at the DKE house" discussion. But last night, on his Fox "News" show, Bill O'Reilly re-propagandized for the myth that any "interrogation method" that doesn't involve a nut vice and a blowtorch is not actually torture. Discussing a New York Times article about the FBI and CIA getting into a pissing match about humane versus "tough" interrogation techniques on Abu Zubaydah, a "henchman" for Osama Bin Laden, O'Reilly glibly, if accurately, described what the CIA did to Zubaydah: "the CIA allegedly stripped Zubaydah who had been wounded by the Pakistani authorities, put him in a freezing room and used Red Hot Chili Peppers on him."
In other words, to quote the Times, "At times, Mr. Zubaydah, still weak from his wounds, was stripped and placed in a cell without a bunk or blankets. He stood or lay on the bare floor, sometimes with air-conditioning adjusted so that, one official said, Mr. Zubaydah seemed to turn blue. At other times, the interrogators piped in deafening blasts of music by groups like the Red Hot Chili Peppers." Whether or not you think Zubaydah "deserved" his treatment (and if you do, you're a vicious pig fucker), at a bare minimum we could agree on the label of "torture." Could we please stop all being such pansies about calling torture "torture"? Or do you just feel better about yourself if you keep a wounded man nude locked in a bare freezing room with loud music blaring if you don't use the word?
But it's not that O'Reilly gleefully dismisses Zubaydah's treatment, with "Now you may think I'm joking here, but I'm not," that renders him in need of a forced ass fucking. No, no. It's that he lies about what's the article actually says is the result of the torture of Zubaydah. Here's O'Reilly: "Blasting the Peppers in a cold room apparently broke Zubaydah according to an unnamed government official quoted in the article. At first Zubaydah was defiant and evasive until the approved procedures were used. He soon began to provide information on key Al Qaeda operators to help us find and capture those responsible for the 9/11 attacks. And one of those men was Khalid Sheikh Muhammad, the mastermind of 9/11."
Now, that'd be awesome and demonstrate some good to be had from torturing suspects. Except, you know, it ain't what the article or the unnamed government official actually said. According to the Times, "In his early interviews, Mr. Zubaydah had revealed what turned out to be important information, identifying Khalid Shaikh Mohammed — from a photo on a hand-held computer — as the chief planner of the Sept. 11 attacks." Those "early interviews" would have been the ones conducted by the FBI where they "bathed Mr. Zubaydah, changed his bandages, gave him water, urged improved medical care, and spoke with him in Arabic and English, languages in which he is fluent." The CIA took over and tortured him because "Zubaydah might have possessed critical information about a coming terrorist operation figured significantly in the decision to employ tougher tactics, even though it later became apparent he had no such knowledge." In other words, Zubaydah was tortured for no reason at all.
Like so many on the right, Bill O'Reilly is a tough guy wannabe, a semi-evolved ape man who so admires the redness of his own hard-on that he's gotta smack that fucker until it explodes, yelping in self-love 'cause he wants everyone to see him come. O'Reilly thinks that as long as we can say we're not as bad as they are, the field's wide open: "The truth is that America has been restrained in its response to the savagery of Al Qaeda and others." So, like, as long as we're not using power drills and videotaped beheadings by knife, it's all good.
Damn, Bill O'Reilly must think it's ridiculous that that bitch ex-producer of his sued him for his graphic harassment by phone. After all, at least he didn't rape her, cut her body into pieces, and feed it to his pet sharks. He exercised such restraint.
9/12/2006
Advice To Democrats: One Talking Point To Rule Them All:
Democrats are about to face an untold amount of fear and savagery in the upcoming Congressional races. Once the niceties of the primaries are done, the Republican campaign machine is going to go into overdrive in a way that'll make the Swift Boat Vet attacks look like flea bites. If you're a Democratic candidate and you've ever scratched your ass in public, you can be sure that a picture with your hand on your own ass will be spread around with the implication that you are gay because you like finger-on-keister action.
What Democrats need is a message that says, "We're not playing." The beauty of what Keith Olbermann has been doing lately on his MSNBC show Countdown is that he's made it safe for public figures to use a certain kind of rhetoric. When he says that Bush needs to hope for forgiveness (as he did last night), he's put out language in to the air that can now be built upon, much like Rush Limbaugh did for the right (and, Christ, no, the Rude Pundit's not saying that Olbermann is the Limbaugh of the Left). But it's gotta be tailored, simple, easy to recite and easy to remember. And the Rude Pundit's got it.
Follow the bouncing ball, motherfuckers; it's gonna be a weird ride:
See, Republicans like to say that they are the party of personal responsibility. They're the ones who believe that if you give a man a fish, you feed him for one day (which is a reductionist view of welfare), but if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. Republicans think they are teaching. But their philosophy is actually something more along the lines of "You deal with your own shit. Suffer or learn. Sink or swim."
Liberals (which a couple of Democrats actually are) are the ones who wanna teach the guy to fish, but they also know (as the Rude Pundit's said before) that the guy needs a fishing pole, string, bait, and maybe a fish or two to eat while he's learning. That was the idea of the New Deal, the War on Poverty, and everything else that the right has undone. The liberal philosophy says we know you wanna deal with shit on your own, but we recognize that it's a path to get there and you might need some help along the way.
This gets us, through a bizarre, fucked-up route, back to fear. Republicans have to sow fear again and again, but they don't give anyone the tools to deal with the fear other than to demand that the citizens become dependent on the government for safety and parental oversight. What were Bush's speeches last week except a series of statements on what there is to be afraid of and how we should be scared enough to hide while the government takes care of all the monsters under the bed.
Democrats need to counter that message not by saying that they'll be better parents - that they won't fuck the neighbors or they won't blow the bank account on high-quality smack. No, instead, they need to offer a message that appeals to the American desire to have the guts to stand up to bullies big and small; a message that says that your vote doesn't have to confirm your fears, but it can be a method of saying that you're not afraid anymore. So howzabout this one:
"Don't let Osama Bin Laden tell you how to vote."
Focus group that motherfucker. It becomes shorthand for the bullshit hysteria the Republicans have wanted to provoke. It reminds people that Bin Laden is still out there without explicitly saying it. It says that for the last two elections, the American people have voted because Bin Laden scared them into voting a certain way. It evokes the constant quoting of Bin Laden that Bush has been doing, quotes that'll certainly be echoed by the media and by congressional candidates.
Look at this short speech segment that's possible: "My opponent has said that Osama Bin Laden wants to destroy America. My opponent wants you to be very scared. He says that's why you should vote for him. Well, I say to the people here in [insert podunk town, USA], 'Don't let Osama Bin Laden tell you how to vote.'"
One simple message, Democrats. One that'll echo in people's ears as they go to the polls where they can see the act of voting as an act of defiance, of Bin Laden, of Bush.
Democrats are about to face an untold amount of fear and savagery in the upcoming Congressional races. Once the niceties of the primaries are done, the Republican campaign machine is going to go into overdrive in a way that'll make the Swift Boat Vet attacks look like flea bites. If you're a Democratic candidate and you've ever scratched your ass in public, you can be sure that a picture with your hand on your own ass will be spread around with the implication that you are gay because you like finger-on-keister action.
What Democrats need is a message that says, "We're not playing." The beauty of what Keith Olbermann has been doing lately on his MSNBC show Countdown is that he's made it safe for public figures to use a certain kind of rhetoric. When he says that Bush needs to hope for forgiveness (as he did last night), he's put out language in to the air that can now be built upon, much like Rush Limbaugh did for the right (and, Christ, no, the Rude Pundit's not saying that Olbermann is the Limbaugh of the Left). But it's gotta be tailored, simple, easy to recite and easy to remember. And the Rude Pundit's got it.
Follow the bouncing ball, motherfuckers; it's gonna be a weird ride:
See, Republicans like to say that they are the party of personal responsibility. They're the ones who believe that if you give a man a fish, you feed him for one day (which is a reductionist view of welfare), but if you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. Republicans think they are teaching. But their philosophy is actually something more along the lines of "You deal with your own shit. Suffer or learn. Sink or swim."
Liberals (which a couple of Democrats actually are) are the ones who wanna teach the guy to fish, but they also know (as the Rude Pundit's said before) that the guy needs a fishing pole, string, bait, and maybe a fish or two to eat while he's learning. That was the idea of the New Deal, the War on Poverty, and everything else that the right has undone. The liberal philosophy says we know you wanna deal with shit on your own, but we recognize that it's a path to get there and you might need some help along the way.
This gets us, through a bizarre, fucked-up route, back to fear. Republicans have to sow fear again and again, but they don't give anyone the tools to deal with the fear other than to demand that the citizens become dependent on the government for safety and parental oversight. What were Bush's speeches last week except a series of statements on what there is to be afraid of and how we should be scared enough to hide while the government takes care of all the monsters under the bed.
Democrats need to counter that message not by saying that they'll be better parents - that they won't fuck the neighbors or they won't blow the bank account on high-quality smack. No, instead, they need to offer a message that appeals to the American desire to have the guts to stand up to bullies big and small; a message that says that your vote doesn't have to confirm your fears, but it can be a method of saying that you're not afraid anymore. So howzabout this one:
"Don't let Osama Bin Laden tell you how to vote."
Focus group that motherfucker. It becomes shorthand for the bullshit hysteria the Republicans have wanted to provoke. It reminds people that Bin Laden is still out there without explicitly saying it. It says that for the last two elections, the American people have voted because Bin Laden scared them into voting a certain way. It evokes the constant quoting of Bin Laden that Bush has been doing, quotes that'll certainly be echoed by the media and by congressional candidates.
Look at this short speech segment that's possible: "My opponent has said that Osama Bin Laden wants to destroy America. My opponent wants you to be very scared. He says that's why you should vote for him. Well, I say to the people here in [insert podunk town, USA], 'Don't let Osama Bin Laden tell you how to vote.'"
One simple message, Democrats. One that'll echo in people's ears as they go to the polls where they can see the act of voting as an act of defiance, of Bin Laden, of Bush.
9/11/2006
Reporting From Ground Zero on the Fifth Anniversary of the Last Good Day:
Yesterday, on September 10, when he read that George W. Bush was going to lay a wreath down in the middle of the hole in the ground that was the World Trade Center twin towers, the Rude Pundit decided to head on down to Ground Zero to see his President in person. He expected massive crowds and a crazed media circus, because this was, after all, the President returning to the site of his iconic image, of the moment that cemented the nation on its present disastrous course. He had never seen Bush in the flesh and wanted to look on his actual physical form, get a measure of the man so many of us have spent so much time despising.
When he emerged from the subway through the WTC Path Station, the Rude Pundit was greeted by protesters, also expected. He saw drumming Buddhist monks and their
monk-y wannabes drumming along flanked by large black balloons, behind a flag-draped coffin and signs demanding that the soldiers be brought home. Stopping a couple of young women in tight black shirts that read, in Arabic and English, "We will not be silent," the Rude Pundit asked, "Did you wear those intentionally? Because of the guy who couldn't get onto the plane?" They said they were aware of the incident, but, no, they wore the shirts because, indeed, they would not be silent.
The most protesters were from different groups calling for the "truth" about 9/11 to be revealed, the ones who, to varying degrees, believe the events of the day were supported and/or engineered by the U.S. government, the Israeli government, or some combination of them. Someone associated with the conspiracy-theorizing viral video sensation Loose Change gave the Rude Pundit a DVD of the film, which he will watch, as he told the guy, "skeptically." One 9/11 truth seeker was in a screaming fight with what can best be described as one of the "Crazed Old Coots For America," the various old guys decked out in American flag clothes and pro-Bush regalia spoiling for a fight. At least they didn't try to go toe to toe with the Grandmas For Peace, also there, also holding signs. One of the Grandmas said, "I just can't stand what Bush has done to us all, so I came down here to let him know."
Others there wanted freedom for Taiwan or pronounced the end of the world is nigh so it was time to get right with Jesus. One guy walked through the crowd screaming that homosexual soldiers rape Iraqi babies. It was hard to tell what side he was on.
Moving away from the station, looking for a place to watch the President do his wreath-laying solemnity, the Rude Pundit walked along the perimeter fence, looking around at all the security, the Secret Service with their tell-tale earpieces, the snipers on balconies and rooftops. Along the fence, people stared at mounted pictures of the day five years and a little over 12 hours ago. Every so often, there would be someone crying behind sunglasses or looking as if they had just finished or held back tears. Some wore pictures of loved ones on chains or shirts; some carried flyers that were reminiscent of the missing posters from back then. This time the flyers told short stories about the life of the dead person. One group wore name tags that said, "Surviving Family Member." It looked like two familes, one white, one Hispanic. They were being guided by an Asian woman who pointed out where each tower had stood. One of the Hispanic men posted a flyer over a "Post No Bills" sign. It was about his sister.
Walking past the lists of names that wrongly label everyone who died one of the "Heroes of 9/11" (sorry, but you don't get to be a hero just because you died at a certain place at a certain time unless you actually did something heroic), past Fire Station 10 and the soon-to-be open 9/11 Visitor's Center, the Rude Pundit was struck by how, compared to what he expected, very few people were actually there. Certainly not more than a couple of thousand. The President of the United States, the leader of the free world, the man who stood on the ruins and made such poignant promises to us, was going to be back at the ruins and, in as much as such numbers have meaning, on the eve of the fifth anniversary of the attacks. Shouldn't it have been packed? Shouldn't we have all stood shoulder to shoulder to watch? As pornographically as Bush exploits the event and makes Americans into victims, shouldn't more people have wanted to mourn with him? The Rude Pundit's seen more people out here on ordinary summer days.
He looked through the barrier fence down into the footprints of the towers. The long ramp that leads to the center of the pit had been theatrically lined with the flags of, one presumes, all the states and nations that lost people in the attacks. He heard bagpipes and saw honor guard, police and fire officials, and others down there. He thought about how small George Bush was going to seem from this vantage point, as close as one could get to the event without actually being inside. He was just going to be a teeny-tiny man in a great big hole, laying a wreath for America in a temporary reflecting pool.
Then NYPD officers, politely, to be sure, told all of us who stood there wanting to watch our President, some of whom wanted to mourn with him at least distantly, that we had to move out. The area was going to be secured. In fact, most of the perimeter would be secured and no one would be allowed close enough to the fence to see the President. No, the only way to truly see him would be to watch him on television. Where he wouldn't seem so teeny-tiny, so reduced in scale to the epic destruction that surrounded him. And, indeed, when you watch video of the event, with the Bushes, Mike Bloomberg, George Pataki, and Rudy Giuliani lined up and walking down the ramp, they forcibly look out of scale to the vast construction site around them. However, from anyone who could see from above, see the actual context of the event, they were very, very small.
The Rude Pundit walked out of the secure area as they put up barricades. Now, with the fence itself off limits, the crowds thinned out even further. Maybe this was the intention, for George Bush to have a private moment of mourning, except, of course, for all the TV cameras there. After thinking about heading to an Irish pub off Fulton Street where he often hopelessly flirts with the raven-haired Jersey girl behind the bar who can yank a tap like nobody's business, he decided to head home. The train station was closed because the President was going to be near it. So the Rude Pundit walked uptown a bit, past the protesters, past the press vans, past the police, and he hailed a cab.
It was only 9/10, after all. And it looked like it might rain.
Yesterday, on September 10, when he read that George W. Bush was going to lay a wreath down in the middle of the hole in the ground that was the World Trade Center twin towers, the Rude Pundit decided to head on down to Ground Zero to see his President in person. He expected massive crowds and a crazed media circus, because this was, after all, the President returning to the site of his iconic image, of the moment that cemented the nation on its present disastrous course. He had never seen Bush in the flesh and wanted to look on his actual physical form, get a measure of the man so many of us have spent so much time despising.
When he emerged from the subway through the WTC Path Station, the Rude Pundit was greeted by protesters, also expected. He saw drumming Buddhist monks and their
monk-y wannabes drumming along flanked by large black balloons, behind a flag-draped coffin and signs demanding that the soldiers be brought home. Stopping a couple of young women in tight black shirts that read, in Arabic and English, "We will not be silent," the Rude Pundit asked, "Did you wear those intentionally? Because of the guy who couldn't get onto the plane?" They said they were aware of the incident, but, no, they wore the shirts because, indeed, they would not be silent.
The most protesters were from different groups calling for the "truth" about 9/11 to be revealed, the ones who, to varying degrees, believe the events of the day were supported and/or engineered by the U.S. government, the Israeli government, or some combination of them. Someone associated with the conspiracy-theorizing viral video sensation Loose Change gave the Rude Pundit a DVD of the film, which he will watch, as he told the guy, "skeptically." One 9/11 truth seeker was in a screaming fight with what can best be described as one of the "Crazed Old Coots For America," the various old guys decked out in American flag clothes and pro-Bush regalia spoiling for a fight. At least they didn't try to go toe to toe with the Grandmas For Peace, also there, also holding signs. One of the Grandmas said, "I just can't stand what Bush has done to us all, so I came down here to let him know."
Others there wanted freedom for Taiwan or pronounced the end of the world is nigh so it was time to get right with Jesus. One guy walked through the crowd screaming that homosexual soldiers rape Iraqi babies. It was hard to tell what side he was on.
Moving away from the station, looking for a place to watch the President do his wreath-laying solemnity, the Rude Pundit walked along the perimeter fence, looking around at all the security, the Secret Service with their tell-tale earpieces, the snipers on balconies and rooftops. Along the fence, people stared at mounted pictures of the day five years and a little over 12 hours ago. Every so often, there would be someone crying behind sunglasses or looking as if they had just finished or held back tears. Some wore pictures of loved ones on chains or shirts; some carried flyers that were reminiscent of the missing posters from back then. This time the flyers told short stories about the life of the dead person. One group wore name tags that said, "Surviving Family Member." It looked like two familes, one white, one Hispanic. They were being guided by an Asian woman who pointed out where each tower had stood. One of the Hispanic men posted a flyer over a "Post No Bills" sign. It was about his sister.
Walking past the lists of names that wrongly label everyone who died one of the "Heroes of 9/11" (sorry, but you don't get to be a hero just because you died at a certain place at a certain time unless you actually did something heroic), past Fire Station 10 and the soon-to-be open 9/11 Visitor's Center, the Rude Pundit was struck by how, compared to what he expected, very few people were actually there. Certainly not more than a couple of thousand. The President of the United States, the leader of the free world, the man who stood on the ruins and made such poignant promises to us, was going to be back at the ruins and, in as much as such numbers have meaning, on the eve of the fifth anniversary of the attacks. Shouldn't it have been packed? Shouldn't we have all stood shoulder to shoulder to watch? As pornographically as Bush exploits the event and makes Americans into victims, shouldn't more people have wanted to mourn with him? The Rude Pundit's seen more people out here on ordinary summer days.
He looked through the barrier fence down into the footprints of the towers. The long ramp that leads to the center of the pit had been theatrically lined with the flags of, one presumes, all the states and nations that lost people in the attacks. He heard bagpipes and saw honor guard, police and fire officials, and others down there. He thought about how small George Bush was going to seem from this vantage point, as close as one could get to the event without actually being inside. He was just going to be a teeny-tiny man in a great big hole, laying a wreath for America in a temporary reflecting pool.
Then NYPD officers, politely, to be sure, told all of us who stood there wanting to watch our President, some of whom wanted to mourn with him at least distantly, that we had to move out. The area was going to be secured. In fact, most of the perimeter would be secured and no one would be allowed close enough to the fence to see the President. No, the only way to truly see him would be to watch him on television. Where he wouldn't seem so teeny-tiny, so reduced in scale to the epic destruction that surrounded him. And, indeed, when you watch video of the event, with the Bushes, Mike Bloomberg, George Pataki, and Rudy Giuliani lined up and walking down the ramp, they forcibly look out of scale to the vast construction site around them. However, from anyone who could see from above, see the actual context of the event, they were very, very small.
The Rude Pundit walked out of the secure area as they put up barricades. Now, with the fence itself off limits, the crowds thinned out even further. Maybe this was the intention, for George Bush to have a private moment of mourning, except, of course, for all the TV cameras there. After thinking about heading to an Irish pub off Fulton Street where he often hopelessly flirts with the raven-haired Jersey girl behind the bar who can yank a tap like nobody's business, he decided to head home. The train station was closed because the President was going to be near it. So the Rude Pundit walked uptown a bit, past the protesters, past the press vans, past the police, and he hailed a cab.
It was only 9/10, after all. And it looked like it might rain.
9/08/2006
Support a Rude Pundit Guest Blogger:
It may be sexist or some such shit, but the Rude Pundit gets like Russell Crowe in L.A. Confidential when he hears about some scumfucker guy pummeling his wife or girlfriend.
The good and righteous JC Christian over at Jesus' General has put out the word about a Rude Pundit guest blogger from this summer, Egalia at Tennessee Guerilla Women. Seems Egalia's daughter was beaten by her ex-boyfriend in one of the Rude Pundit's red state stomping grounds, Nashville, and Egalia was gutsy enough to post photos to shove that reality at you.
So the Rude Pundit seconds the General and says to get your ass over to TGW and either give a tip to Egalia during this fucked up time by clicking on her PayPal link or by donating in your own and/or Egalia's name to the YWCA of Nashville.
Out here in Left Blogsylvania, let's show that we do, indeed, give a shit about our own.
It may be sexist or some such shit, but the Rude Pundit gets like Russell Crowe in L.A. Confidential when he hears about some scumfucker guy pummeling his wife or girlfriend.
The good and righteous JC Christian over at Jesus' General has put out the word about a Rude Pundit guest blogger from this summer, Egalia at Tennessee Guerilla Women. Seems Egalia's daughter was beaten by her ex-boyfriend in one of the Rude Pundit's red state stomping grounds, Nashville, and Egalia was gutsy enough to post photos to shove that reality at you.
So the Rude Pundit seconds the General and says to get your ass over to TGW and either give a tip to Egalia during this fucked up time by clicking on her PayPal link or by donating in your own and/or Egalia's name to the YWCA of Nashville.
Out here in Left Blogsylvania, let's show that we do, indeed, give a shit about our own.
A Couple of Numbers From Bush's Speeches This Week:
Before heading off to get a running start on one of the last few sun-dappled afternoons of gin and tonic before the dark, heavy stout days of autumn creep in, the Rude Pundit will leave you with a few numbers from Bush's three "major" speeches this week on terrorism:
Total number of times September 11, 2001 or 9/11 were mentioned: 65, including 38 mentions in yesterday's speech alone.
Total number of times Osama Bin Laden was mentioned: 29, including 17 in the September 5 speech.
Well, at least Karl Rove's strategy for the midterms is blatantly fucking clear now.
Before heading off to get a running start on one of the last few sun-dappled afternoons of gin and tonic before the dark, heavy stout days of autumn creep in, the Rude Pundit will leave you with a few numbers from Bush's three "major" speeches this week on terrorism:
Total number of times September 11, 2001 or 9/11 were mentioned: 65, including 38 mentions in yesterday's speech alone.
Total number of times Osama Bin Laden was mentioned: 29, including 17 in the September 5 speech.
Well, at least Karl Rove's strategy for the midterms is blatantly fucking clear now.
In Brief: Why Bill O'Reilly Ought To Be Sodomized With a Push Poll:
On his website, in heady anticipation of his upcoming book, Culture Warrior, the Fox "News" ball-eating host has a "quiz" to see if you are a "culture warrior" or a "secular-progressive." It's five simple yes or no questions to determine if you wanna tear the screamin' queeny heads off homos or if you wanna march in a queer pride parade next to Hillary Clinton.
Here's one of the questions: "Do you think suspected terrorists captured overseas are entitled to Geneva Convention protections-that is, the same rights that military people are afforded?" Yes or no, motherfuckers, c'mon.
The Rude Pundit scored "leaning heavily" toward secular-progressive (he answered "No" to one of the five questions). But he was still offered the golden opportunity to purchase a personalized autographed copy of Culture Warriors. He'd do it, but he's pretty sure O'Reilly won't put the message the Rude Pundit wants on the nameplate: "This book is dedicated to wiping asses in this fine bathroom until all that's left is the cover. Kisses, Bill O'Reilly."
Back later with more Friday rudeness.
On his website, in heady anticipation of his upcoming book, Culture Warrior, the Fox "News" ball-eating host has a "quiz" to see if you are a "culture warrior" or a "secular-progressive." It's five simple yes or no questions to determine if you wanna tear the screamin' queeny heads off homos or if you wanna march in a queer pride parade next to Hillary Clinton.
Here's one of the questions: "Do you think suspected terrorists captured overseas are entitled to Geneva Convention protections-that is, the same rights that military people are afforded?" Yes or no, motherfuckers, c'mon.
The Rude Pundit scored "leaning heavily" toward secular-progressive (he answered "No" to one of the five questions). But he was still offered the golden opportunity to purchase a personalized autographed copy of Culture Warriors. He'd do it, but he's pretty sure O'Reilly won't put the message the Rude Pundit wants on the nameplate: "This book is dedicated to wiping asses in this fine bathroom until all that's left is the cover. Kisses, Bill O'Reilly."
Back later with more Friday rudeness.
9/07/2006
Bush To America: Our Justice System Sucks Balls:
"Don't you get it, you stupid fucks?" the President of the United States may as well have said yesterday. "All those years of American jurisprudence and treaties and shit are meaningless now. In fact, really, it's all been a huge fuckin' waste of time because now, now it's different." Yet when the President described the threat that faces the nation, the "new war," he said: "They operate in the shadows of society; they send small teams of operatives to infiltrate free nations; they live quietly among their victims; they conspire in secret, and then they strike without warning." That's not a war. That's a well-organized criminal operation. Sure, you can call it a "war" if you want, but you're wrong. See, a jihadi mafia doesn't really have the same panache as "big bad motherfuckers who'll destroy Western civilization." And it's a lot harder to get the nation to agree to hedge on or abandon some its basic principles if it ain't a war.
Which is exactly what Bush proudly announced yesterday. The President, our President (whether you like it or not) was damned near giddy telling us that the CIA has secret prisons in foreign countries, which were needed, you know, because they couldn't be given the humane treatment Bush assures us they received in a known American facility. And you could practically hear Bush fondle himself when, talking about the interrogation of Abu Zubaydah, he said, "We knew that Zubaydah had more information that could save innocent lives, but he stopped talking. As his questioning proceeded, it became clear that he had received training on how to resist interrogation. And so the CIA used an alternative set of procedures." Oh, fuck, yeah, that hits the spot like a well-lubed dildo. Bush couldn't tell us exactly what was done to Zubaydah, except that "the procedures were tough, and they were safe, and lawful, and necessary." (And it ought to be noted that "lawful" means what Alberto Gonzales says is lawful.)
See, the problem, Bush said, ain't just the terrorists. It's the legal system of America. All this bullshit about "rights" and "fairness" and "habeas corpus" is pussy nonsense when it comes to this "new war." Said Bush, "[T]he Supreme Court's recent decision has impaired our ability to prosecute terrorists through military commissions, and has put in question the future of the CIA program." That's right - our courts suck balls. Sure, sure, they may have been able to prosecute spies and serial killers and, well, shit, terrorists in the past, but not in the "new war."
Bush re-informed us that the Court thinks the U.S. ought to abide by Common Article Three of the Geneva Conventions. Let's let the President explain: "This article includes provisions that prohibit 'outrages upon personal dignity' and 'humiliating and degrading treatment.' The problem is that these and other provisions of Common Article Three are vague and undefined." So, like, for half a century or more, the United States had at least some idea of what was humiliating, degrading, and outrageous treatment. But the Bush administration is suddenly ignorant (yeah, yeah, but let it go). Hey, Bible-boy, howzabout the Golden Rule test? What would you not want done unto you? Then don't fuckin' do it unto others.
But then Bush got to the crux of the matter, the real gut-wrenching fear: "And some believe our military and intelligence personnel involved in capturing and questioning terrorists could now be at risk of prosecution under the War Crimes Act -- simply for doing their jobs in a thorough and professional way. This is unacceptable." Ahh, so now it ain't just the U.S. court system, which is incapable of judging the crimes of terrorists because of the inconvenience of "evidence." It ain't just the pussy Geneva Conventions. It's the notion that maybe, just maybe, some, probably French fuckers, might believe everyone who authorized the "alternative set of procedures" might be criminals. Yeah, laws suck, man. Especially when you wanna break them.
And between the praise of torture (no matter what Bush calls it), the dismissing of the American justice system, and the vow to continue all of it, the Rude Pundit is left with this question: exactly what country are we fighting for? Because it's become appallingly clear that it sure as hell ain't the United States in any recognizable form anymore.
"Don't you get it, you stupid fucks?" the President of the United States may as well have said yesterday. "All those years of American jurisprudence and treaties and shit are meaningless now. In fact, really, it's all been a huge fuckin' waste of time because now, now it's different." Yet when the President described the threat that faces the nation, the "new war," he said: "They operate in the shadows of society; they send small teams of operatives to infiltrate free nations; they live quietly among their victims; they conspire in secret, and then they strike without warning." That's not a war. That's a well-organized criminal operation. Sure, you can call it a "war" if you want, but you're wrong. See, a jihadi mafia doesn't really have the same panache as "big bad motherfuckers who'll destroy Western civilization." And it's a lot harder to get the nation to agree to hedge on or abandon some its basic principles if it ain't a war.
Which is exactly what Bush proudly announced yesterday. The President, our President (whether you like it or not) was damned near giddy telling us that the CIA has secret prisons in foreign countries, which were needed, you know, because they couldn't be given the humane treatment Bush assures us they received in a known American facility. And you could practically hear Bush fondle himself when, talking about the interrogation of Abu Zubaydah, he said, "We knew that Zubaydah had more information that could save innocent lives, but he stopped talking. As his questioning proceeded, it became clear that he had received training on how to resist interrogation. And so the CIA used an alternative set of procedures." Oh, fuck, yeah, that hits the spot like a well-lubed dildo. Bush couldn't tell us exactly what was done to Zubaydah, except that "the procedures were tough, and they were safe, and lawful, and necessary." (And it ought to be noted that "lawful" means what Alberto Gonzales says is lawful.)
See, the problem, Bush said, ain't just the terrorists. It's the legal system of America. All this bullshit about "rights" and "fairness" and "habeas corpus" is pussy nonsense when it comes to this "new war." Said Bush, "[T]he Supreme Court's recent decision has impaired our ability to prosecute terrorists through military commissions, and has put in question the future of the CIA program." That's right - our courts suck balls. Sure, sure, they may have been able to prosecute spies and serial killers and, well, shit, terrorists in the past, but not in the "new war."
Bush re-informed us that the Court thinks the U.S. ought to abide by Common Article Three of the Geneva Conventions. Let's let the President explain: "This article includes provisions that prohibit 'outrages upon personal dignity' and 'humiliating and degrading treatment.' The problem is that these and other provisions of Common Article Three are vague and undefined." So, like, for half a century or more, the United States had at least some idea of what was humiliating, degrading, and outrageous treatment. But the Bush administration is suddenly ignorant (yeah, yeah, but let it go). Hey, Bible-boy, howzabout the Golden Rule test? What would you not want done unto you? Then don't fuckin' do it unto others.
But then Bush got to the crux of the matter, the real gut-wrenching fear: "And some believe our military and intelligence personnel involved in capturing and questioning terrorists could now be at risk of prosecution under the War Crimes Act -- simply for doing their jobs in a thorough and professional way. This is unacceptable." Ahh, so now it ain't just the U.S. court system, which is incapable of judging the crimes of terrorists because of the inconvenience of "evidence." It ain't just the pussy Geneva Conventions. It's the notion that maybe, just maybe, some, probably French fuckers, might believe everyone who authorized the "alternative set of procedures" might be criminals. Yeah, laws suck, man. Especially when you wanna break them.
And between the praise of torture (no matter what Bush calls it), the dismissing of the American justice system, and the vow to continue all of it, the Rude Pundit is left with this question: exactly what country are we fighting for? Because it's become appallingly clear that it sure as hell ain't the United States in any recognizable form anymore.
Help Follow the Bouncing Meme: Plame Caused the Katrina Debacle?:
So this morning, the Rude Pundit was flippin' between the O'Brien-licious CNN's American Morning and the Fox "News" morning show Fox and Friends with vagina dentata E.D. Hill and the deeply closeted Steve Doocy. On Fox, the Rude Pundit hears the Larry of the trio of hosts, Brian Kilmeade (which is close to an anagram for "kill me dead"), talking about ABC's lying, Bush-fellating piece o' crap TV movie about the Path to 9/11. Kilmeade offered that if, as the movie purports (and the 9/11 commission report says is wrong), that Bill Clinton was distracted from getting Osama Bin Laden because of the Lewinsky nonsense, then obviously the Bush adminstration is blameless for the Katrina nightmare because it was distracted by the Plame investigation, which now, of course, for Kilmeade and the right, is discredited completely by Richard Armitage's confession of loose lips.
What the fuck? the Rude Pundit thought. Is this some new talking point? For, surely, the Fox morning tools are not capable of thinking of such a thing on the fly.
So he went to the warm embrace of Google and Nexis and started a-searchin'. So far, here's what he's come up with: the meme seems to have started with James Taranto in his Wall Street Journal "Best of the Web" column on August 28. In the middle of "people who suffered" because of the investigation (and, of course, blaming Joe Wilson for everything), Taranto chortles, "Innocent White House officials were distracted from serving the country in order to participate in the investigation, which was in full swing a year ago when Hurricane Katrina struck." Over in Right Blogsylvania, it was picked up by Cliff May at the National Review Online (motto: "We may be irrelevant, but we're loud").
Has anyone heard this elsewhere? Is it spreading or dying as quickly as the sales of each of the Fox and Friends hosts' books?
So this morning, the Rude Pundit was flippin' between the O'Brien-licious CNN's American Morning and the Fox "News" morning show Fox and Friends with vagina dentata E.D. Hill and the deeply closeted Steve Doocy. On Fox, the Rude Pundit hears the Larry of the trio of hosts, Brian Kilmeade (which is close to an anagram for "kill me dead"), talking about ABC's lying, Bush-fellating piece o' crap TV movie about the Path to 9/11. Kilmeade offered that if, as the movie purports (and the 9/11 commission report says is wrong), that Bill Clinton was distracted from getting Osama Bin Laden because of the Lewinsky nonsense, then obviously the Bush adminstration is blameless for the Katrina nightmare because it was distracted by the Plame investigation, which now, of course, for Kilmeade and the right, is discredited completely by Richard Armitage's confession of loose lips.
What the fuck? the Rude Pundit thought. Is this some new talking point? For, surely, the Fox morning tools are not capable of thinking of such a thing on the fly.
So he went to the warm embrace of Google and Nexis and started a-searchin'. So far, here's what he's come up with: the meme seems to have started with James Taranto in his Wall Street Journal "Best of the Web" column on August 28. In the middle of "people who suffered" because of the investigation (and, of course, blaming Joe Wilson for everything), Taranto chortles, "Innocent White House officials were distracted from serving the country in order to participate in the investigation, which was in full swing a year ago when Hurricane Katrina struck." Over in Right Blogsylvania, it was picked up by Cliff May at the National Review Online (motto: "We may be irrelevant, but we're loud").
Has anyone heard this elsewhere? Is it spreading or dying as quickly as the sales of each of the Fox and Friends hosts' books?
9/06/2006
Pictures That Make the Rude Pundit Want To Mix a Triple Dose of Ambien and a Fifth of Wild Turkey, Part 1:
(From Media Matters)
(From Media Matters)
Message to the President: We're Not That Stupid:
Yesterday, the President of the United States treated each one of us as if we were the first passengers for pick up by the short bus. To be sure, we are a nation of idiots, as witnessed by our 2004 election and by the fact that still nearly half of recently polled Americans believe Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11. Or by the fact that anyone gives a happy monkey fuck over whether or not Suri Cruise is normal or some horrible genetic mutant spawn of the Cocktail guy and the Dawson's Creek chick. But generally leaders try to flatter the stupid - it's why, for instance, a politician can go to the biggest shit farm in Anal Rape, Arkansas and praise the noble shit farmer for his abilities at harvesting shit.
Not George Bush, though. He's a man who is unafraid to act like every American is a knuckle-dragging, drooling, eyes-too-close mongoloid. Perhaps it's the only way he can feel superior. Yesterday, when Bush gave one of his endless speeches on terrorism, his analogies and comparisons were so over the top, so hysterical (in the arm-waving, spit-flying sense of the word), so bloodlust-instilling calculated, that he may as well have taken out a bunny, shot it onstage, and said, "See? This is what terrorists wanna do," wiping bunny brains off his lectern and tossing the headless carcass into the gathered members of the Military Officers Association of America.
It wasn't just that Bush made the idiotic comparisons between Muslim extremism and Soviet Communism and Nazism. Those are easily dismissed: ummm, big fuckin' armies with entire crazed nations backin' them versus a bunch of horny guys shitting in caves. It was the strange way that Bush relished throwing the words of terrorists and extremists at us, as if we didn't know that these were pissed off, violent people. Here's Bush quoting Osama Bin Laden: "Death is better than living on this Earth with the unbelievers among us." Christ, it sounds like the journals of punk ass Klebold/Harris wannabes, like Osama's been listening to a little too much Danish death metal. This is our great foe?
The point here is that by Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and others making their pedantic Nazi/Commie/Jihadi comparisons, they have succeeded in elevating the status of Bin Laden and other terrorists to epic proportions. Motherfucking Nazis could have taken over the entire continent of Europe, for real. Motherfucking USSR could have blown up the world, for real. Jihadis are living in a fantasy world, a delusional state, so brain-fucked by Allah worship and poverty they actually believe they are something more than, in the grand goddamned scheme o' things, a nuisance. By even pretending that Bin Laden is Hitler-like in any way other than Jew-hatred is to take Frankenstein's monster and pump that grunting, green fucker up to King Kong size. See, it only took angry villagers with torches to get rid of Frankenstein's monster. It took the military to take out Kong. So, c'mon, a little friggin' perspective here. Just because Bush says, "This is the great ideological struggle of the 21st century -- and it is the calling of our generation," doesn't mean it is.
This doesn't even get into the desperate flailing about in trying to make Iraqi insurgents, the Iranian government, and al-Qaeda (and its spawn) into one big ball o' bearded eeeevil. Said Bush, "As we continue to fight al Qaeda and these Sunni extremists inspired by their radical ideology, we also face the threat posed by Shia extremists, who are learning from al Qaeda, increasing their assertiveness, and stepping up their threats." Holy conflation, Mr. President. And it gets even more mindboggling: "Like al Qaeda and the Sunni extremists, the Iranian regime has clear aims: They want to drive America out of the region, to destroy Israel, and to dominate the broader Middle East." As opposed to the United States, which wants to keep America in the region, destroy Iran, and dominate the broader Middle East.
Who the fuck is Bush talking to? Who doesn't want to stop terrorism other than the terrorists? Why do we need to be reminded that terrorists have goals, too? Goddamn, the Rude Pundit is so tired of being treated like he's a fool. And he's pretty damn sure that sentiment is spreading fast.
Yesterday, the President of the United States treated each one of us as if we were the first passengers for pick up by the short bus. To be sure, we are a nation of idiots, as witnessed by our 2004 election and by the fact that still nearly half of recently polled Americans believe Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11. Or by the fact that anyone gives a happy monkey fuck over whether or not Suri Cruise is normal or some horrible genetic mutant spawn of the Cocktail guy and the Dawson's Creek chick. But generally leaders try to flatter the stupid - it's why, for instance, a politician can go to the biggest shit farm in Anal Rape, Arkansas and praise the noble shit farmer for his abilities at harvesting shit.
Not George Bush, though. He's a man who is unafraid to act like every American is a knuckle-dragging, drooling, eyes-too-close mongoloid. Perhaps it's the only way he can feel superior. Yesterday, when Bush gave one of his endless speeches on terrorism, his analogies and comparisons were so over the top, so hysterical (in the arm-waving, spit-flying sense of the word), so bloodlust-instilling calculated, that he may as well have taken out a bunny, shot it onstage, and said, "See? This is what terrorists wanna do," wiping bunny brains off his lectern and tossing the headless carcass into the gathered members of the Military Officers Association of America.
It wasn't just that Bush made the idiotic comparisons between Muslim extremism and Soviet Communism and Nazism. Those are easily dismissed: ummm, big fuckin' armies with entire crazed nations backin' them versus a bunch of horny guys shitting in caves. It was the strange way that Bush relished throwing the words of terrorists and extremists at us, as if we didn't know that these were pissed off, violent people. Here's Bush quoting Osama Bin Laden: "Death is better than living on this Earth with the unbelievers among us." Christ, it sounds like the journals of punk ass Klebold/Harris wannabes, like Osama's been listening to a little too much Danish death metal. This is our great foe?
The point here is that by Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and others making their pedantic Nazi/Commie/Jihadi comparisons, they have succeeded in elevating the status of Bin Laden and other terrorists to epic proportions. Motherfucking Nazis could have taken over the entire continent of Europe, for real. Motherfucking USSR could have blown up the world, for real. Jihadis are living in a fantasy world, a delusional state, so brain-fucked by Allah worship and poverty they actually believe they are something more than, in the grand goddamned scheme o' things, a nuisance. By even pretending that Bin Laden is Hitler-like in any way other than Jew-hatred is to take Frankenstein's monster and pump that grunting, green fucker up to King Kong size. See, it only took angry villagers with torches to get rid of Frankenstein's monster. It took the military to take out Kong. So, c'mon, a little friggin' perspective here. Just because Bush says, "This is the great ideological struggle of the 21st century -- and it is the calling of our generation," doesn't mean it is.
This doesn't even get into the desperate flailing about in trying to make Iraqi insurgents, the Iranian government, and al-Qaeda (and its spawn) into one big ball o' bearded eeeevil. Said Bush, "As we continue to fight al Qaeda and these Sunni extremists inspired by their radical ideology, we also face the threat posed by Shia extremists, who are learning from al Qaeda, increasing their assertiveness, and stepping up their threats." Holy conflation, Mr. President. And it gets even more mindboggling: "Like al Qaeda and the Sunni extremists, the Iranian regime has clear aims: They want to drive America out of the region, to destroy Israel, and to dominate the broader Middle East." As opposed to the United States, which wants to keep America in the region, destroy Iran, and dominate the broader Middle East.
Who the fuck is Bush talking to? Who doesn't want to stop terrorism other than the terrorists? Why do we need to be reminded that terrorists have goals, too? Goddamn, the Rude Pundit is so tired of being treated like he's a fool. And he's pretty damn sure that sentiment is spreading fast.
9/05/2006
This Savage Season (featuring the Return of Karl Rove's Leather Slave):
Karl Rove has invited Ken Mehlman down to the basement of the White House to view his leather slave. Karl Rove keeps his leather slave tied to a cabinet that contains such ephemera as John Adams' self-flagellation razor strop and Chester Arthur's Pure Buffalo Fat Side-Burn Grease. "Watch this," Rove tells the nervous RNC chairman. "This is what I want you to do." He unbuckles his slacks and Mehlman recoils for a moment at the sight of Rove wearing only a vinyl thong below the waist, its front tightly cupping Rove's balls. Rove orders his leather slave down, and, of course, being a leather slave, he complies with his master. The leather slave bends over in the traditional "presenting" position, kneeling and leaning over Teddy Roosevelt's Filipino-shooting saddle, his bare ass sticking up, much swollen anus ready for reaming. Sweat develops on Mehlman's upper lip.
Rove slaps the leather slave's bottom, pulling the chaps aside. He rips off his thong and he plunges his dick into the leather slave's sphincter. Grunting, fucking, breathing just a little hard, he looks at Mehlman. "You getting this? You understand? Every day I do this, and every day you have to do it, too. Until your dick and this bitch's asshole are bleeding."
"But I'm not..." Mehlman sputters.
"Fuck you. Shut the fuck up," Rove says, "Now get over here and massage my prostate." Reluctantly, but, really, having no choice, Mehlman walks over to Rove and places one, two, three fingers into Rove's ass. Turning to the task at hand, fucking harder now, the leather slave moaning, Karl Rove starts to cry, saying, "Yeah, Dad, you like it, you know it, you know it, fuck you, Dad." With a brief, quickly muted yell of "It's not incest if it's your stepfather," Rove comes, pulling out to spray jism all over his leather slave's back. He turns back to Mehlman. "You can stop now." Mehlman withdraws his hand. "Expertly done," Rove comments. The leather slave quivers but does not ejaculate. He is not allowed.
"Your turn," Rove tells Mehlman. Mehlman looks confused. "You gotta do it right. Now fuck his face." Mehlman tries to protest, but Rove cuts him off. "Just fucking stop it. You know what to do." Mehlman walks to the front of the leather slave. He delicately, deftly unzips the mouth of the slave's leather mask and then his own fly. Mehlman's got a throbbing boner. He puts his pecker in the leather slave's mouth, and, of course, the leather slave hungrily sucks. Mehlman moans, feeling the delirious scrape of zipper teeth on his face-probing cock. "That's right, Kenny, that's right. I used to be able to scream as loud as I wanted. Now I gotta keep it quiet. Fuckers upstairs, you know. But you, you can yell. C'mon, yell, motherfucker. Yell like you're gettin' your dick sucked." Mehlman complies, yelling louder and louder until he comes into the grateful mouth of the leather slave.
Mehlman's still hard, though, and he goes over to Rove and tries to ass fuck the Texan. "Whoa, whoa," Rove says, stepping away, "Get the fuck off me. I'm no fag." Mehlman, embarrassed, zips himself up. He nods, understanding his place in the order of things. "Save it, Kenny," Rove advises. "Save it and give it to Rahm Emmanuel. Give it to Chuck Schumer. Give it to that pissant fucker Dean."
Thong and pants back on, Rove accompanies Mehlman out of the basement. Karl Rove's leather slave, Republican spunk drying on various parts of his flesh and hair, stays bent over the saddle, thinking that it's only the day after Labor Day. It's gonna be a long two months.
Karl Rove has invited Ken Mehlman down to the basement of the White House to view his leather slave. Karl Rove keeps his leather slave tied to a cabinet that contains such ephemera as John Adams' self-flagellation razor strop and Chester Arthur's Pure Buffalo Fat Side-Burn Grease. "Watch this," Rove tells the nervous RNC chairman. "This is what I want you to do." He unbuckles his slacks and Mehlman recoils for a moment at the sight of Rove wearing only a vinyl thong below the waist, its front tightly cupping Rove's balls. Rove orders his leather slave down, and, of course, being a leather slave, he complies with his master. The leather slave bends over in the traditional "presenting" position, kneeling and leaning over Teddy Roosevelt's Filipino-shooting saddle, his bare ass sticking up, much swollen anus ready for reaming. Sweat develops on Mehlman's upper lip.
Rove slaps the leather slave's bottom, pulling the chaps aside. He rips off his thong and he plunges his dick into the leather slave's sphincter. Grunting, fucking, breathing just a little hard, he looks at Mehlman. "You getting this? You understand? Every day I do this, and every day you have to do it, too. Until your dick and this bitch's asshole are bleeding."
"But I'm not..." Mehlman sputters.
"Fuck you. Shut the fuck up," Rove says, "Now get over here and massage my prostate." Reluctantly, but, really, having no choice, Mehlman walks over to Rove and places one, two, three fingers into Rove's ass. Turning to the task at hand, fucking harder now, the leather slave moaning, Karl Rove starts to cry, saying, "Yeah, Dad, you like it, you know it, you know it, fuck you, Dad." With a brief, quickly muted yell of "It's not incest if it's your stepfather," Rove comes, pulling out to spray jism all over his leather slave's back. He turns back to Mehlman. "You can stop now." Mehlman withdraws his hand. "Expertly done," Rove comments. The leather slave quivers but does not ejaculate. He is not allowed.
"Your turn," Rove tells Mehlman. Mehlman looks confused. "You gotta do it right. Now fuck his face." Mehlman tries to protest, but Rove cuts him off. "Just fucking stop it. You know what to do." Mehlman walks to the front of the leather slave. He delicately, deftly unzips the mouth of the slave's leather mask and then his own fly. Mehlman's got a throbbing boner. He puts his pecker in the leather slave's mouth, and, of course, the leather slave hungrily sucks. Mehlman moans, feeling the delirious scrape of zipper teeth on his face-probing cock. "That's right, Kenny, that's right. I used to be able to scream as loud as I wanted. Now I gotta keep it quiet. Fuckers upstairs, you know. But you, you can yell. C'mon, yell, motherfucker. Yell like you're gettin' your dick sucked." Mehlman complies, yelling louder and louder until he comes into the grateful mouth of the leather slave.
Mehlman's still hard, though, and he goes over to Rove and tries to ass fuck the Texan. "Whoa, whoa," Rove says, stepping away, "Get the fuck off me. I'm no fag." Mehlman, embarrassed, zips himself up. He nods, understanding his place in the order of things. "Save it, Kenny," Rove advises. "Save it and give it to Rahm Emmanuel. Give it to Chuck Schumer. Give it to that pissant fucker Dean."
Thong and pants back on, Rove accompanies Mehlman out of the basement. Karl Rove's leather slave, Republican spunk drying on various parts of his flesh and hair, stays bent over the saddle, thinking that it's only the day after Labor Day. It's gonna be a long two months.
9/04/2006
A Labor Day Message (From Randy Newman):
Appropriately for this day and age, this is from the album Good Ole Boys. It's called "Mr. President (Have Pity on the Working Man)":
We've taken all you've given
But it's gettin' hard to make a livin'
Mr. President have pity on the working man
We're not asking you to love us
You may place yourself high above us
Mr. President have pity on the working man
I know it may sound funny
But people ev'ry where are runnin' out of money
We just can't make it by ourself
It is cold and the wind is blowing
We need something to keep us gong
Mr. President have pity on the working man
Maybe you've cheated
Maybe you've lied
Maybe you have lost your mind
Maybe you're only thinking 'bout yourself
Too late to run. Too late to cry now
The time has come for us to say good-bye now
Mr. President have pity on the working man
Mr. President have pity on the working man
Let us now visits our Marts of Wal, our Malls of America and Americans, and our fast food feed troughs. Let us bask in our oh-so-deserving middle classness and salute those whose labor makes this day such a joy. Or just go down on the needy genitals of a hard-laboring construction worker or waitress. "Mr. President" may have no pity, but the rest of us can offer tender mercies.
(An earlier version of this post had the wrong album title. It has been corrected. Thanks to astute rude reader Kevin B.)
Appropriately for this day and age, this is from the album Good Ole Boys. It's called "Mr. President (Have Pity on the Working Man)":
We've taken all you've given
But it's gettin' hard to make a livin'
Mr. President have pity on the working man
We're not asking you to love us
You may place yourself high above us
Mr. President have pity on the working man
I know it may sound funny
But people ev'ry where are runnin' out of money
We just can't make it by ourself
It is cold and the wind is blowing
We need something to keep us gong
Mr. President have pity on the working man
Maybe you've cheated
Maybe you've lied
Maybe you have lost your mind
Maybe you're only thinking 'bout yourself
Too late to run. Too late to cry now
The time has come for us to say good-bye now
Mr. President have pity on the working man
Mr. President have pity on the working man
Let us now visits our Marts of Wal, our Malls of America and Americans, and our fast food feed troughs. Let us bask in our oh-so-deserving middle classness and salute those whose labor makes this day such a joy. Or just go down on the needy genitals of a hard-laboring construction worker or waitress. "Mr. President" may have no pity, but the rest of us can offer tender mercies.
(An earlier version of this post had the wrong album title. It has been corrected. Thanks to astute rude reader Kevin B.)
In Brief: An Example of the Crude Use of Violent Metaphors:
In Marshville, NC, the mob of ten men were fucking sure that they had the right guy. They were so positive that Tony Blakeney had something to do with the disappearance of Patrick McClendon that they cornered Blakeney in his house and beat him to what would become death at the hospital later on. How fucked up does a beat down have to be for the sheriff to say, "This is the worst beating attack I've ever seen"? Let's just say that a sheriff in a North Carolina county's gonna have seen his fair share of bottle shards embedded in faces, teeth and eyes kicked out, broken bones and smashed skulls, stomped-to-popping testicles. So the answer's gotta be: really fucked up.
The mob believed they had the right intelligence. They had pieced it together from the few clues they had and decided to act before someone else was hurt. You can bet, though, that there was a man in the group who perhaps thought that maybe they were wrong, especially since chances are they beat Blakeney for a while to get information, which he could not give since he didn't, you know, have any. And you can also bet that any man who thought they were wrong didn't say a word for fear of being labeled a traitor and just let the beat down continue. Hell, there may have even been someone in the mob who thought that even if Blakeney was involved, they perhaps should let the law do its job. Again, that man held back any protests out of fear of what might be done to him for suggesting that the rules applied to them.
And you can bet, and it'd be as sure a bet as saying Hillary's gonna be re-elected to the Senate, that when the mob found out that they had beaten the wrong man, that Blakeney didn't have anything to do with McClendon's murder, that they themselves were just blind thugs and killers, yeah, you can fuckin' bet that at least a couple of 'em came up with other reasons to justify their violence, that Blakeney had committed some other offense.
The barbarically self-righteous among us will always come up with bullshit justifications to ensure that their barbarism is warranted.
In Marshville, NC, the mob of ten men were fucking sure that they had the right guy. They were so positive that Tony Blakeney had something to do with the disappearance of Patrick McClendon that they cornered Blakeney in his house and beat him to what would become death at the hospital later on. How fucked up does a beat down have to be for the sheriff to say, "This is the worst beating attack I've ever seen"? Let's just say that a sheriff in a North Carolina county's gonna have seen his fair share of bottle shards embedded in faces, teeth and eyes kicked out, broken bones and smashed skulls, stomped-to-popping testicles. So the answer's gotta be: really fucked up.
The mob believed they had the right intelligence. They had pieced it together from the few clues they had and decided to act before someone else was hurt. You can bet, though, that there was a man in the group who perhaps thought that maybe they were wrong, especially since chances are they beat Blakeney for a while to get information, which he could not give since he didn't, you know, have any. And you can also bet that any man who thought they were wrong didn't say a word for fear of being labeled a traitor and just let the beat down continue. Hell, there may have even been someone in the mob who thought that even if Blakeney was involved, they perhaps should let the law do its job. Again, that man held back any protests out of fear of what might be done to him for suggesting that the rules applied to them.
And you can bet, and it'd be as sure a bet as saying Hillary's gonna be re-elected to the Senate, that when the mob found out that they had beaten the wrong man, that Blakeney didn't have anything to do with McClendon's murder, that they themselves were just blind thugs and killers, yeah, you can fuckin' bet that at least a couple of 'em came up with other reasons to justify their violence, that Blakeney had committed some other offense.
The barbarically self-righteous among us will always come up with bullshit justifications to ensure that their barbarism is warranted.
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