Welcome to the end of one more motherfucker of a year in this stupid age we're damned to live through. It was a year of repetition, of shit that we've been through seemingly a thousand fucking times yet various assholes and cockmites are forcing us to go through them again, like we're in some awful wormhole plot of a terrible sci-fi show. I mean, goddamnit, we've been through this anti-LGBT bullshit, we've been through the book bannings, we've been through the immigration hysteria, and we've had enough fucking wars between Palestine and Israel, for fuck's sake. And, Jesus fuck, I can't take another Trumpy election.
Still, as shitty as things seemed to be, there are some glimmers of what we used to call "hope" before right-wing media beat hope into a bloody heap and pissed on optimism. But, hey, listen: Donald Trump is careening towards some kind of legal reckoning. Despite the best efforts of Republicans to torpedo it, the American economy is chugging along quite well. Despite the best efforts of Republicans to torpedo him, Joe Biden is chugging along quite well, with no major fuckups since the Afghanistan withdrawal (which was always gonna suck - and we can argue about his support of Israel). Ron DeSantis was once the golden boy of the future GOP and now he's lucky if he ends up on some shit nutzoid right-wing media outlet like MAGA Ball Washing Today. So not all bad.
Around these parts, we tell the year to kiss our asses goodbye through the power of poetry. More precisely, through a couple of days of haiku, those 3-line expressions of all that is beautiful or all that is ugly or all that is awesome or all that is disturbing in this filthy, degraded world that can still give us something as lovely as, well, haiku.
Submit your haiku about anything 2023-related, fucked or not, to "rudepundit(at)yahoo(dot)com." I'm the only judge and jury here, and I am generally fickle, cranky, drunk, high, and pantsless.
I'm also a stickler for the form: one line of 5 syllables, one line of 7 syllables, and one line of 5 syllables, in that order. They can be as filthy, funny, or fucked-up as you like. You can be serious, silly, or sanctimonious. Titled or untitled. The ones I like the best get published on here over the next few days, so lemme know what name you want on it (in case your boss or mate or Mom sees it) and where you're from. Like "Rudy Giuliani's Filled Diaper from Gunfuck, AL" or "Alisha from San Francisco" or something.
Here are a few to get your engines running:
