"Unity" Is Another Word for "Clean Up the Fucking Mess Republicans Made"

Republicans are returning to dickish form with the speed of a rabid chipmunk that got into the meth stash. It was to be expected. They should feel chastened, humbled even, by the events of the last few weeks. They should be offering a hand to Democrats, you know, the party that's not responsible for attempting to overturn the election, the party that isn't filled with assholes who took a shit in the Capitol, the party that didn't enable a twice-impeached president commit every depravity he could conceive of. They should have gone to the leaders in each house of Congress (who are both Democrats) and President Joe Biden (also a Democrat) and admitted that they fucked up before begging for forgiveness and saying that they are willing to get behind some shit. 

But they didn't because they're Republicans, and Republicans are always and forever motherfuckers. And fucking mothers is just what motherfuckers do. It's right there in the word.

Yesterday and even before, President Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris (wow, it feels awesome to write both of those) spoke of the need for unity in the country. Harris ended her speech at the Inauguration concert by saying Biden will lead us "To do what is hard, to do what is good. To unite, to believe in ourselves, believe in our country, believe in what we can do together." Biden mentioned the word "unity" 8 times in his Inaugural Address.

So, of course, Republicans were instantly cockheads about it. Senator Rand Paul, who always looks like he just finished having his dog lick peanut butter off his balls, decried Biden's speech because "much of it is thinly veiled innuendo calling us white supremacists," which Biden didn't say, but Rand Paul sure heard because, well, it's true. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (pretty fuckin' awesome to write that, too) is shitcanning whatever brief moment of comity he felt after nearly being butchered by the white supremacists who stormed the Capitol and is now being very much himself in demanding the Democrats play nice on the filibuster. All of this is just the start, along with Senator Josh "Fisted Himself" Hawley blocking one of Biden's cabinet nominees and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy saying about the concept of unity, "You can’t achieve that if your focus is more on the Paris accord, ending the Keystone Pipeline." Even reporters have gotten on board with questions that are essentially "Oh, you're not allowing the GOP to run the government you just go elected to run. Where's your unity god now?"

Except Biden didn't say that he wanted to kiss the filthy GOP ass to get unity. He just wanted everyone to calm the hell down while he and the Democrats try to unfuck the country that Republicans under Trump ran a train on. He was pretty fuckin' clear on what he meant: "I know speaking of unity can sound to some like a foolish fantasy. I know the forces that divide us are deep and they are real...History, faith, and reason show the way, the way of unity. We can see each other not as adversaries but as neighbors. We can treat each other with dignity and respect. We can join forces, stop the shouting, and lower the temperature. For without unity, there is no peace, only bitterness and fury. No progress, only exhausting outrage. No nation, only a state of chaos. This is our historic moment of crisis and challenge, and unity is the path forward."

Unity ain't singing "Kumbaya" around the campfire. It's not being a dick while cleaning up the fucking mess that the GOP made and asking, "You wanna help out with this? Grab a fucking broom or sit the fuck down."

Lemme give you an example of this. I was having a socially-distanced visit with my pal Doug, who is an electrician. This was after the election, and I brought up how Biden was going to implement an actual national plan on dealing with COVID-19. Doug, who insists he's not a Trump-humper (and he's criticized Trump in the past), said he thought Biden's family would profit in some way from the vaccine and that all politicians are corrupt. I said that was a thing that Republicans generally say to excuse their much larger corruption. And he said, "What about Hunter Biden?"

Now, I could have lost my shit and attacked, except Doug would have just been hurt and it wouldn't have achieved anything. So, instead, I took a breath and asked what he thought he knew about Hunter Biden. And we went through it, point by point, calmly, with both of us listening to each other (even though I was totally correct). I'll write about that conversation another time, but the point is that this is what President Biden meant by "unity." Figure shit out. Don't scream at each other and walk away. And, frankly, it's Republicans who have done the screaming and walking. 

Yesterday was good. The push to wipe up after Trump's legacy of dropping his pants and frantically jacking off on everything around him has been great so far. But don't let yesterday's good feelings delude you into believing that Republicans have changed at all. Don't let the 10 Republicans who voted for impeachment trick you. They are a pit of vipers, looking for an excuse to strike.

However, as someone who was opposed to Biden during the Democratic primaries, I've now reached a point where I'm glad it's him in the Oval Office. The man has been there and seen it all. He's negotiated with Republicans when they did so in good faith and when they did so in bad faith. And it's entirely possible that Biden has reached the "don't give a single fuck" age and point where he really means, "Unity with us or death to your party." Or that's just wishful thinking.