The Divine Right of Trumps

Something Donald Trump said last week has just stuck in my craw. Well, to be fair, every goddamn word out of that shit-ogre's mouth sticks in my craw. My craw is fuckin' full. But this is a little snippet that got no attention whatsoever, but just seems to me to indicate exactly how perverse this entire depressing situation has always been.

Last Tuesday, on April 7, prior to jacking off for the media at his Coronavirus Task Force presser, Trump held the "Small Business Relief Update Meeting," another session where he gets his balls massaged by having everyone tell him how awesome his awesomeness is. In his introductory remarks, prior to lying again about the number of jobs his daughter/genetic spank bank Ivanka has created, Trump said this: "My daughter, Ivanka Trump, who just wants to have people working.  That’s what — I gave her lots of options, and - 'What do you like?'" And then he went on to lie-brag, "She started off with a goal of 500,000 jobs, and now she’s up to over 15 million."

Look at what he's admitting there. The motherfuckin' president of the United States, who is elected and doesn't inherit the position, said that he asked his daughter, "What do you want to do in my administration?" Not what was she qualified for. And, honestly, all she's qualified to do is be the mascot for a company of cheap knock-offs of other designers' work and putting her stupid name it. A person with any self-awareness would have said, "Oh, that's okay. I'm just gonna keep on abusing sweatshop workers." But, no, in this telling, Ivanka said, "Daddy, I wish to work on getting Americans jobs." It's not just that the whole story is a lie (really, Ivanka's there to make sure Donald doesn't shit himself and keel over). It's that the lie is disturbing as fuck: The president let his daughter choose her job in the White House, like a toy at FAO Schwarz.

It's of a piece of Trump believing himself the equal to a king, the imperial presidency on Adderall, snorted off his daughter's tits.

Back in the quaint times of the Mueller investigation, when Trump was just a filthy traitor selling out the nation to Russia and not outright murdering Americans, he used to say repeatedly that he had the power to do all the treason he wanted: "Then, I have an Article II, where I have to the right to do whatever I want as president. But I don’t even talk about that," he said at some godforsaken conservative conference of the damned. Of course, he talked about it all the fuckin' time.

And now, over the last few days, Trump has gone even further, asserting that he has the power to decide when individual states are ready to open up for business post-pandemic. On Monday, he asserted, "When somebody is the President of the United States, the authority is total, and that’s the way it’s got to be." And, as he does when he knows he's fucking wrong, he insisted that others knew what he was saying. Usually, it's "you know what I'm talking about," but here it was "And the governors know that." Except the governors don't "know" that because it's just not fucking true. I just wanted one governor to say, "Motherfucker, you were too much of a pussy to close anything. Don't fuckin' get in my face about when to open it, you anus-lipped, jiggly-jowled prick."

At today's pressturbation session, he didn't just say that he has control over the economies of individual states. He said that he can use his emergency powers to adjourn the Congress so he can recess appoint a bunch of harmful fucks to positions of power. You know, so they can ensure that government for Trump and by Trump continues unabated. He went full batshit:  "If the House will not agree to that adjournment, I will exercise my constitutional authority to adjourn both chambers of Congress. The current practice of leaving town while conducting phony pro forma sessions is a dereliction of duty that the American people cannot afford during this crisis. It is a scam what they do. It's a scam." By the way, that "scam" was used to prevent President Obama from recess-appointing anyone.

What was pissing off Trump so much that he needs to provoke another constitutional crisis? The Voice of America news outlet, funded by taxpayers, wasn't sucking his dick. Yeah, VOA reported China's number of coronavirus deaths, and because they didn't say, "Oh, and China eats shit," Trump and Trumpinistas are losing their goddamn minds. Trump wants to put in his own propagandist at the VOA.  The VOA asserted independence and freedoms, like press and speech, and that was the greatest sin you can commit when you are dealing with a king.

The pathetic reality is that Trump doesn't have the power of a king (yet) is that he can't make the truth go away. Oh, sure, the fucking idiot hordes, who will suckle at his saggy teats until it kills them, will believe his story.

But the real truth is that Trump had the power to do something to prepare for the coronavirus pandemic and he didn't. He could have waved his hand (in the form of a signature or two) and unleashed the manufacturing power of the United States. He could have coordinated national social distancing early on. He could have taken the WHO's tests and vastly expanded our ability to do them. He had that power: the power to have saved thousands of lives. It was in his tiny hands. And he didn't use it because he couldn't see past his own bloated reflection. How fucking sad is that.

What we're really seeing is the flailing of a pitiful failure, a sad old man screaming at the TV for disagreeing with him. He's going to keep saying this kind of shit and the threat is that he really acts on this. Because then it will once again be up to Republicans to join Democrats in reining in his desire to reign. And if they don't, it will be up to the Supreme Court to decide. And we know how that goes.

It's not even a surprise anymore when Trump escalates to cover up his incompetence and bad decisions. He's like every terrorist: he gets off on seeing shit blow up.