6/13/2019

Trump: Let's Do Some Collusion, Motherfuckers

President Chucklefuck McBloatface had multiple reasons for telling ABC News's George Stephanopoulos that he'd gobble up information from a foreign government about his political opponent in 2020 like an eager cum whore swallows jizz at a Pride Month circle jerk. First, if he said that he'd go to the FBI, he'd be admitting that he or Jared "Dead Boy Eyes" Kushner or "good young man" Donald Trump, Jr., did something wrong when they were offered (checks notes) information from a foreign government about his political opponent in 2016. And this vile shithead would never say he was wrong.

This is part of the strategy of declaring, repeatedly, that what was laid out in the Mueller report wasn't a crime on the Trump campaign's part, that whether or not there was "collusion" was besides the point. A few months ago, Rudy Giuliani, pausing while drinking the blood of an infant, stated flatly that taking information from a foreign government, even if that information was stolen, was not criminal. The only reason Mueller didn't charge Dead Eyes or Good Young Man with a crime is because he's pretty sure they were too fucking stupid to know that what they were doing by meeting with Russians was a crime.

One thing Trump said was kind of interesting. He compared getting this information to "oppo research," and that's led throbbing assholes like Lindsey Graham to speciously compare it to the Steele dossier, which brought the connection between Trump and Russia to the FBI's attention (via John McCain). While trying to split this really wide hair (research on an opponent that a candidate contracts someone to do is not the same as Syria showing up and saying, "I've got emails we stole. Let's have a secret meeting and boogie"), Trump said, "I would guarantee you that 90 percent, could be 100 percent, of the congressmen or the senators over there, have had meetings--if they didn’t they probably wouldn’t be elected-- on negative information about their opponent." When pressed by Stephanopoulos on even if the meetings were with agents of foreign countries, Trump said, "Possibly. Possibly. But they don’t call the FBI. You don’t call the FBI every time you hear something that maybe--now, you see the people."

Now, you could look at this as Trump covering his ass after he said he'd commit a crime. But another way to see that comment on members of Congress is as a threat. Because if the only people who can do anything to stop him are in Congress, then you can sure as shit bet that he's gonna let them know that they're gonna go down with him if they gun for him on this. Yeah, I think that was a warning that he's got the goods on (most likely) Republicans and the help they've gotten from other nations. I think that was him saying that they better build a wall with their bodies around him or he'll burn it all down before he takes the fall.

Of course, Trump was also announcing to the world that he's open for business. "C'mon, China and Russia, grab me by the pussy," Trump was saying, "I love it." You only do that shit if you're already in so far deep that it doesn't fucking matter anymore. And you're an idiot. So it's clearly Trumpian.

A couple of Republicans have spoken out to say, "Well, gee, that's not right." And Democrats have fumed a mighty fume and even tried to get a law passed that did something that doesn't matter because it was blocked by sentient turdpile Mitch McConnell.

That last part is particularly galling because Democrats should be going to fucking war today. See, one other thing that Trump did in the interview that hasn't really been reported is that he once again accused Hillary Clinton and Democrats of committing crimes. Yeah, that's right. Right after admitting that he didn't give a shit if he or any politician breaks the law, he got all self-righteous about Clinton again. In one of his verbal diarrhea blasts, Trump said, "She deleted 33,000 emails from--sent by the United States Congress. They gave a subpoena to Hillary Clinton for 33,000 emails. After the subpoena was gotten, she deleted them. That’s called obstruction. And her lawyer should also be looked at because her lawyer--she’s got to have the greatest lawyer on earth because she does that, he did the deleting, supposedly. Not only did they delete, but they acid washed them."

We don't need to go through all the lies in that. And while Trump didn't specifically say that Clinton should be in jail, he did tell Stephanopoulos, "If you did that, you would’ve been put in jail."

Jesus fuck, Democrats, at least have the guts to defend your own.

(Note: If your reaction to this is that the United States interferes in foreign elections and we're just getting payback, well, you are so very smart. Have a cookie. And shut the fuck up because a whole hell of a lot of us think that meddling in other countries' elections is wrong no matter who does it.)