It's absolutely ludicrous that Donald Trump is getting praise for his appearance at the 75th anniversary of the D-Day invasion in Normandy. Sure, he read a speech that a reasonably eloquent fifth-grader could have written, and he didn't even pause to say how much the property there was worth or how he could have killed Hitler single-handedly with a secret plan he had. Obviously, everyone thought Bumblefuck O'Douchenozzle was gonna saunter up to the lectern, fart into the mic, shit on the gathered leaders, and scream, "Do you love me now, Vladdy?"
But just because he acted vaguely normal, the motherfucker didn't all of a sudden become a goddamn statesman. If our mark of success is now "Oh, good, he didn't teabag the Queen," then nothing really fucking matters anymore.
Besides, in just about every other circumstance, Trump was the blithering cockknob he usually is. He said that the UK's National Health Service would be on the table for trade negotiations (before walking that back since, if true, it would probably end Brexit immediately). He didn't seem to understand that Ireland wasn't part of the UK and that a border wall with Northern Ireland would pretty much lead to an explosion of violence. He insulted Nancy Pelosi and Robert Mueller while talking to Fox "news" by those Normandy graves. And he was fucking obsessed with Queen Elizabeth and the royal family, saying that "There are those that say they have never seen the queen have a better time, a more animated time," and you just think that, if it's true, how fucking awful the queen's life must have been for her first 93 years.
Truly, being royalty who are just figureheads with almost no real power must seem like a dream for Trump. Everyone gives you money and a gold house and all you gotta do is wave from a carriage every now and then? That's a gig. Trump must love that shit.
Hell, in his hell-interview with insufferable twatflea Piers Morgan, Trump fairly jacked off, "I really like the royal family and of course headed by the queen who is a woman like few others." I hope Elizabeth had Her Majesty's Pussy Guard with her at all times to prevent any grabbing.
That interview was filled with weird and ominous and confoundingly dumb things from Trump. At one point, Morgan asked Trump if Prince Charles talked to him about climate change, an issue that Charles has been working on for years. Look at Trump's response: "He's doing this for future generations. He really feels. And this is this is real. He believes that. He wants to have a world that's good for future generations...He doesn't need that. You know he is Prince Charles. He doesn't have to worry about future generations in theory unless he's a very good person who cares about people."
That's some sociopathic shit right there. Most of us would think it's just being a goddamned human being to "worry about future generations." For a narcissistic lump of rotting scrotum skin like Trump, one has to be "a very good person who cares about people" to give a damn what happens to one's descendants.
And, hell, we all know that Trump only views things in his Trumpishly myopic mirror, admiring how incredible he is at all times, but he's so extravagantly narcissistic, like so bad that you'd think every now and then his reflection would say, "Can you give me a fuckin' break for a little while?"
Talking about the military, Trump made it seem like he alone was funding it: "I -- look $700 billion I gave last year and then this year $716 billion." Bitch, that didn't come out of your wallet. We're all fuckin' paying for it.
And when Morgan compared the Trumps to the long history of the royal family and asked, "Would you like to have a 3000-year bloodline?" Trump answered, no shit, "I think it'll be great. I don't know what I'd be doing for the rest of it but I think it would be great." Yeah, he understood the question as Morgan asking him if he'd like to live for 3000 years. God fucking damn, he's dumb.
Trump also reduced everything to money, to how successful people are, to how tough they are as negotiators. Talking about the Vietnam War, which he missed because of (bullshit) bone spurs, he said, "Nobody ever, you know, you're talking about Vietnam and at that time nobody ever heard of the country. Today they're doing very well, in fact on trade they are brutal. They're very brutal." Putting aside the fact that he's admitting he didn't know anything about Vietnam (lots of people had "heard" of it), it's like he wants us to know...what?...now they torture us in trade talks?
The most jarring moment was probably his praise of the gambling ability of the motherfucker who murdered 58 people and injured over 400 in the Las Vegas massacre. The President of the United States said of this white terrorist, "He was actually a pretty smart guy. He was supposedly a good successful gambler and there's almost no such thing as a successful gambler. And he went out and he -- what he did was incredible." I mean, sure, he's one of the biggest mass murderers in history, but, damn, that dude could rock the Texas Hold 'Em table at Caesar's Palace.
Goddamn us for electing this yutz.
Two other things from that bad acid trip of an interview.
First, of course he mentioned his 2016 election. "I had an inauguration, which I have to say was spectacular. And we had a big election night win that was, you know, one of the great evenings," he said. Yes, Gramps, we know. Now tell us again about the time you banged porn stars.
And when Morgan pressed him on banning transgender soldiers from the US military, Trump not only completely upended the supposed (bullshit) justification, which was unit cohesion or some such shit. He punked out and essentially said his hands were tied because of military regulations on drug usage. No, really: "You have very strict rules and regulations on drugs and prescription drugs and all of these different things and they [transgender soldiers] blow it out of the water."
This was one of many, many head-smacking, embarrassing moments on this loony sideshow. Yeah, Trump read a fuckin' speech and didn't accidentally knock over a D-Day veteran. Eisenhower must have been rolling over and over and over in his grave. Patton must have wanted to shove his hand up from the ground and smack Trump's smarmy, wimpy mug. Down in Hell, Hitler must have thought it was good to be represented at the ceremony.
