In the shitstorm of lies that President Donald Trump fertilized the Rose Garden with yesterday, there was one that should have bugged the living fuck out of the jerk-off Republicans who have to pretend they even can stand being in the same room as him. No, it wasn't his declaration that Bill Clinton's FEMA director gave Trump's administration an "A+" on hurricane relief (Trump said, "And that includes Puerto Rico," which Witt took to Twitter to directly contradict). It wasn't his assertion that President Obama and other presidents didn't call the families of soldiers who died in battle (get to that in a sec).
No, it was when Trump asserted, "Don't forget it took years for the Reagan administration to get taxes done."
Surely, a number of Republicans' heads snapped at that. Surely, more than one thought, "Motherfucker, Reagan's first tax cut was signed and done on August 13, 1981." By the magic of math, that's far less than "years," and less than the amount of time Trump has been in office. It cut taxes by 25% and was the beginning of Reagan's bullshit trickle-down economics, a theory that fails every time, no matter how long you take to pass the bullshit bill. That aside, Trump not only lied, but he also benefited massively from that tax cut. You could argue that had Reagan not slashed taxes for the wealthy, we wouldn't have even fucking heard of this tangerine turd.
Every day is a new level of Hell as we sink into the seven-layer dip of cruelty, nonsense, and misery that spews out of Trump and his White House of Horrors. You know what the big news was this time 8 years ago? That the bank bailout was working so well that Wall Street executives were already being greedy fucks about their bonuses. That the deficit was going up. That President Obama and the Democrats were trying to get health care to millions of people. Spin that around in your head. No insults, no lies, no attacks by Obama against John McCain for losing the election. You forget what it was like to not have to add "What the fuck is our dumb motherfucker of a president saying today that might kill us all?" on top of the shitpile of dealing with your regular life. Like, goddamn, can't we have one fucking day when Trump's not ruining everything for us?
In today's Rose Garden scat play with the poor president of Greece, Trump spun off so many lies and exaggerations in a short period of time that it was mindboggling. From his constant misrepresentation of what the cost-sharing reduction in the Affordable Care Act is to his insistence that Democrats are the only reason that he hasn't had more nominees approved and not his failure to nominate more people quickly to his completely false claim that his vaguely defined plan has "the largest tax cuts in the history of our country," Trump may as well have said, "And I am twenty feet tall with a ten-foot long dick. Believe me."
And as soon as Trump asserted, regarding contact with the families of fallen soldiers, that "if you look at President Obama and other Presidents, most of them didn't make calls, a lot of them didn't make calls," he knew he had fucked up. His tell is that he goes into a kind of self-echolalia, where he gets stuck on a word and repeats it like on a loop. Right after making that accusation, Trump continued, "So, generally, I would say that I like to call. I'm going to be calling them. I want a little time to pass. I'm going to be calling them." Fuck, somebody hit him so he stops skipping.
When pressed on that later, a wise man might have apologized and admitted the mistake. A kind man might have said he didn't mean to malign every president ever. A decent man might have talked more about the soldiers and their families. But this is Donald Trump, and he is a motherfucker, and when a motherfucker is called out on fucking mothers, he just goes right on fucking them: "President Obama I think probably did sometimes, and maybe sometimes he didn't. I don't know. That's what I was told."
Then he sent Sarah Huckabee Sanders out to say that President Obama didn't call every family, as if that's what Trump said. And, to make it even more pathetic, the White House told NBC News that Obama didn't call General John Kelly when Kelly's son was killed in combat in 2010. And? It's like reality has to be bent in order to make sure Trump is never at fault.
Yeah, he's never to blame. Not for a goddamn thing. In a weird-ass cabinet meeting earlier yesterday, Trump insisted that Congress has failed, not him. No, fucking never him. "I’m not going to blame myself, I’ll be honest," he said.
As if anyone would ever think he was man enough to do so.
