On his pathetic slow fart of a Twitter page, Trump's made no less than a half-dozen comments and taunts about Democrats' outrage over his actions. These include the fucking bizarro sight of the President of the whole goddamned United States mocking his apparent arch-nemesis Rosie O'Donnell for having tweeted in December, "Fire Comey," to which Trump replied, "We finally agree on something Rosie." Yeah, he left out the damn comma between "something" and "Rosie." Because obviously a Wharton education doesn't include basic lessons in English.
He also tweeted this classic of are-you-fucking-kidding-me playground bullying: "Cryin' Chuck Schumer stated recently, 'I do not have confidence in him (James Comey) any longer.' Then acts so indignant." Schumer did indeed say that in November. And his "cryin'" was when he choked up talking about Trump's malignant Muslim ban, so, obviously, that was worthy of endless insults. What fuckin' tool our president is.
Despite changing his story on why Comey was fired like he's changing wives, Trump is getting support from many of the usual squealing piglets of the right. The New York Post went totally up Trump's sphincter, calling Democrats' anger "typical left-wing hypocrisy." The GOP put out a video attacking Democrats for saying that Comey ought to be fired way back in 2016. Rush Limbaugh jiggled and undulated in rage, accusing Democrats of "literally being eaten alive with an irrational, raw hatred literally absorbing them." (Feel free to make your own fat joke about what Limbaugh has eaten alive and literally absorbed.)
Lemme see if I can put this in a way that even the stupidest right-winger can understand, which still would leave out Limbaugh.
Let us say, and why not, that you're a guy who has been in a relationship with another guy, call him "Jimmy," for a few years, and you've been living together for a good part of the time. It's been okay; Jimmy's a decent lay and he cleans up around the house. Mostly, you've just got so many of the same friends and same stuff that at this point, it's just too fuckin' tiring to separate all that shit out.
But let us say, and, indeed, why not, that you catch Jimmy flirting with other guys at a bar one night, and you're pretty sure that when he said he was going outside for some air, he was fucking around. You wanna break up with him. Really badly, you wanna break up. You even tell some of your good friends that you think you should end it.
You don't, though. The rent is due and you figure you'll throw Jimmy's ass out after he pays his share. So you wait, not realizing that this month your lease, with both your names on it, just renewed automatically and you're stuck for the time being. Fuck. Okay, you think, you'll break up with him when you're able to. Meanwhile, you'll just suck it up since he's started cooking and being totally great with your family.
One night, you wake up and the apartment is on fire, just burning down. And you're fucked, inhaling smoke, unable to see. But along comes Jimmy and he is fuckin' on it. He's got you, leading you away from the burning apartment and to the stairs. Yeah, the fire is on your heels, but Jimmy is there, making sure you can get away.
And then Donald Trump walks up to you guys and shoots Jimmy in the face, killing him.
"What the fuck?" you say to Donald Trump. "He was gonna save me!"
Donald Trump smirks, "You say that now, but you wanted to break up with him before." The building is an inferno. "And, oh, by the way," Trump says, "I lit the fire."
