Sally Yates Hearing: Sen. John Kennedy Is a Dumbass

If you love freedom (real freedom, not the bullshit "freedom" to die that Republicans sell) and the rule of law, you had to get hard/wet while watching former Acting Attorney General Sally Yates rip the nuts off the skeevy bunch of shitheels, inbreds, and vipers that are the GOP members of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Then she held aloft the bloody orbs and hurled them back at the squealing castrati before her. It's not like the hearing was even a fair fight, considering that Lindsey Graham, John Cornyn, and the rest brought a list of pissy outrages to a big-ass Constitution fight.

For instance, Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana, in his first year of embarrassing his pretty shameless state, thought he was making some great and mighty point about the separation of powers and Yates refusing to enforce President Trump's idiotic Muslim ban when he shot at Yates, "Who appointed you to the United States Supreme Court?" And, ha, ha, that's so awesome because, see, he's saying, if you don't know, that Yates, as Acting Attorney General, didn't have the authority to say whether or not something is unconstitutional, which, if you know a fucking thing about the role of the Attorney General, is precisely one of the things the Attorney General does, except, see, get this, mostly that advice is given before a president puts out an executive order, but, wait, it gets better, the lawyers at the White House didn't consult with Yates to see if it passed constitutional muster, got it?

Mostly, though, this educated yahoo, who must think he's smarter than any silly girls, considering how he kept interrupting Yates, and who sounds like he's wondering if anyone will find that Klan hood in his office, doesn't seem to get that the Supreme Court is the final arbiter of what is constitutional when a dispute is brought to it. The Justice Department and lawyers throughout the government make determinations on this shit all the time. It's just that an administration of unrepentant and ignorant sociopaths didn't care. And now they expect ball garglers like Kennedy to defend them.

There were other moments where Kennedy essentially pantsed himself and was too dumb to know his little dick was turtling in the breeze. He tried to pin down James Clapper, who is evil but occasionally to good effect, asking, "Have you ever leaked information, classified or unclassified, to a member of the press?"

Clapper responded, to laughter, "Well, unclassified is not leaking." He might have added, "You dipshit," and no one would have thought it was unearned. That didn't stop Kennedy from repeating his question about leaking "unclassified" information several times. So in Senator Kennedy's wee mind, if you tell a reporter something that is already on the State Department website, you're a traitorous motherfucker.

Really, Kennedy's entire presence could be summed up by something he told Yates: "I'm happy as a clown."

You can read elsewhere about how Yates utterly wrecked John Cornyn and Ted Cruz, ensuring that Texas is now represented in the Senate by eunuchs. You can read about what a slimy nuzzler of Russian assholes Michael Flynn was and how Donald Trump just couldn't be bothered to give a shit because he didn't want to learn someone else's name (why not? It's as good an explanation as any).

But for my money, Yates's calm evisceration of every argument Kennedy attempted was the most entertaining part because, unlike Ted Cruz, who knew he had been cock-punched and left before the second round of questions, Kennedy thought he could try again. And again he was pantsed. And again he just stood there, slack-jawed, drooling, ass just hanging out, too dumb to know how well it had been kicked.