Photos From Mike Pence's State That Will Make You Wanna Punch a Scarecrow in the Nuts

On October 1, the little burg of Aurora, Indiana, just across the line from southern Ohio, held a parade for the opening of the Aurora Farmers Fair. It's an orgy of small-town feel-goodedness, and then Frank Linkmeyer had to go and fuck it all up with his float.

Up there on the float is Donald Trump (or some random fat fuck dressed as Trump) pulling the switch on the electric chair. Seated in the electric chair is Hillary Clinton (or some random dude in drag dressed as Clinton). Presumably her crimes are the ones listed on the poster on the side, the usual array of bullshit like Benghazi and emails and, weirdly, "her health." Trump/Pence signs decorate the trailer display, and it features a grim reaper with a bloody scythe and a Duck Dynasty-ready priest. Oh, and in front is an Easter Island head painted black to represent President Obama.

An Aurora resident posted the photo on her Facebook page, along with her angry statement against it, and the comments are a stream of heartening outrage and soul-crushing defense. The Aurora Lions Club, which sponsors the fair, put out a statement of regret on the float. They don't want to detract from the fun times and fried food and dangerous rides and the chance to touch a piece of steel from the Twin Towers, one of our national relics, endowed with mystical powers. Linkmeyer, who says he's a Democrat, claimed it was all in fun. It's difficult to believe either of those things.

Here we are, as usual, in a presidential election, where people think it's just fun or sarcasm or whatever to keep fantasizing about the murder or execution of one of the candidates. It's as if years of accusing Hillary Clinton of various crimes has had the effect of transforming her into a convicted felon in the minds of idiots. Fuck, just today, I talked to two people I thought were rational adults who told me that the Clinton are responsible for the deaths of over 40 people. (My response: "Do you know how rich someone would be if they went to a conservative news source and said they had evidence to prove that?")

It's great that some people are actually upset by the float, but that's mostly because they don't like how it makes their shitkicker town look. I can tell you that small towns in Indiana are filled with some of the most racist, hateful pieces of cow dung in the country. The district where Aurora sits in its own filth elected climate-denying Luke Messer to Congress, and he huffs Mike Pence's asshole deeply. That float was more honest about the state than any of its detractors who are damned to live there.

(Note: This blog used Trump dying by autoerotic asphyxiation as a metaphor for his choking during the debate. That wasn't murder or execution. That was accidental and self-inflicted. And kind of funny.)