In Brief: A Slap Fight Between Pope Francis and Donald Trump

As if this election couldn't get any stupider, now we have Pope Francis saying, quite clearly about Republican rage balloon Donald Trump, "A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian." A wise man might have merely ascribed it to the difference between being a religious leader and being a political leader. A self-assured man might have ignored it altogether and just allowed the Pope to have his say. A thoughtful man might have said that he would consider the Pope's words as he would anyone giving him advice.

But we're talking about Donald Trump here, so, obviously, he was a throbbing cockknob who jizzed out a response as soon as possible.

Essentially, Trump's press release on the Pope is as clear a demonstration of why Pride and Envy are sins as you'll ever find. He starts by saying that only he can keep the Vatican safe. No, really: "If and when the Vatican is attacked by ISIS, which as everyone knows is ISIS’s ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been President because this would not have happened. ISIS would have been eradicated unlike what is happening now with our all talk, no action politicians." So Trump believes that the Pope should be thrilled at the prospect of the torture and mass murder of Muslims, which, to be fair, at one point in its history, Catholic leaders would have been delighted to have occur. But that's so 600 years ago.

Then, in what is one of the least self-aware things said yet by a man who doesn't think he's said things that he just fucking said, Trump continues, "For a religious leader to question a person’s faith is disgraceful. I am proud to be a Christian and as President I will not allow Christianity to be consistently attacked and weakened, unlike what is happening now, with our current President. No leader, especially a religious leader, should have the right to question another man’s religion or faith." What the fuck are we supposed to do with that? A good chunk of Trump's support is predicated on the idea that another religion needs to be questioned and attacked and weakened and denigrated. But that'd be asking for a moment of reflection from Trump and his drooling drone followers. Also, the implication here is that Trump is going to defend Christianity as president, which seems pretty sketchy Constitution-wise, not to mention civil rights-wise, but there you go again with your "logic" and "facts."

Ultimately, though, this is all about the bullshit pandering to the mad evangelical vote that Republicans are forced to go after. Even worse, we now have an argument over whether Trump or the Pope know better how to follow the ideas of the fictional character, "Jesus Christ." It's like getting into a drunken brawl over the most effective zombie weapon. "Yeah, Duane, a machete is great, but the baseball bat won't get dull, you dumb fuck," you might hear at a bar before a bottle is broken.

You might feel like interjecting, "Zombies aren't real," but no one gives a fuck at that point because, at the end of the day, it ain't about zombies. It's about one loudmouth asshole trying to prove that he's the loudest and biggest inflamed asshole in the room.